Pop-country superstar Jelly Roll has announced that his next studio recording will be a duet with you.
He plans to show up at your house around 7ish this evening to begin workshopping the project. Singing lessons will be unnecessary as Mr. Roll believes you have a “hip everyman/woman vibe" that will translate well to his 376th song in the last 2 years.
The song will be a rock-fueled soul-country song written by 32 of Nashville’s top songwriters. It will be released as a one-off single, but if it gains traction, he may put it on a deluxe edition of an upcoming album.
You and Jelly will perform the song together at one of his 76 upcoming appearances on either a bowl game, morning show, awards show, parade, or late night show. You may even be brought out to duet the tune at a few concerts in the next few months.
You will join a celebrated throng of artists who have shared recorded media with the former hick-hop rapper, such as MGK, Brooks & Dunn, Lainey Wilson, Snoop Dogg, Dr. Dre, Eminem, Dustin Lynch, his tattoo artist, Jessie Murph, Tech N9ne, Post Malone, Skylar Grey, OneRepublic, Halsey, Bailee Ann, Falling in Reverse, Brantley Gilbert, Struggle Jennings, Joyner Lucas, his accountant, Upchurch, Keith Urban, Wiz Khalifa, Alexandra Kay, Ilsey, Merkules, Hollywood Undead, ERNEST, Craig Morgan, Lil Wyte, Tommy Vext, Cody Johnson, and a few thousand others.
After say, March 2025, you will resume your normal life, while Mr. Roll will return to the studio to begin work on his next album, EP, live album, and several dozen more collaborations.
Adapted from an old Country California story about Willie Nelson.
January 22: "Awful, Beautiful Life" by Darryl Worley
This is an otherwise great slice-of-life song kneecapped by a pandering and unnecessary bridge. It's just an everyday story about a wayward man dragged to church by his wife, and then to a family gathering after that. I like the humor of the lines "My wife wanted to kill me but she tried to save me first / You're goin' if I have to drag your butt to church." Honestly, the entire song goes along pretty well, riding this Keith Urban-esque guitar groove and building up to a more than decent chorus of "I love this crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful, beautiful life." And I'd have absolutely no complaints until we get to the line "We said a prayer for cousin Michael in Iraq." The specific mention of Iraq irrevocably ties this song to a specific period in time, which itself is not a reason to denigrate the lyric. But in the context of Darryl Worley's already-present jingoism (see "Have You Forgotten?"), it just feels like unnecessary pandering. To be fair, it's not even remotely the worst attempt at doing so, but I think it does throw a wrench into the song; to be even fairer, I don't know if I'd have the same complaint if someone else sang it. Who knows? Maybe I'm just overthinking again. B
Literally the only issue I have with this song is wondering why it was released in the winter. Had this and the stunning "Whiskey Lullaby" been swapped, would I be writing about the latter and lamenting that this was the song that got stuck at #3? Whatever the case, this is Brad doing his lightheartedness right. While taking a girl for a ride in your truck would become a played-out trope in the bro-country era, Brad's take is friendly and conversational. ("Have you been outside? It sure is a nice night / How 'bout a little test drive down by the lake?") I also love how laid-back and acoustic the production is, helped by a very fluid melody that makes some ear-pleasing leaps on the chorus. If Brad offered me a ride in his truck, I wouldn't turn it down, either. A
February 12: "Bless the Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts
"I made a lot of mistakes before finding The One" is a narrative that's not new to country. Just look at "Hurt Me Bad (In a Real Good Way)" by Patty Loveless as another example. This song had a long road to success, having been recorded by the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, Marcus Hummon, and Melodie Crittenden (who would later re-do it with Christian act Selah) before Rascal Flatts got to it. Surprisingly, there isn't a substantial difference among all the prior verisons -- they're all chill yet polished piano ballads, although I have to admit the NGDB version is a little too Michael Bolton for my tastes. Gary LeVox is pleasantly relaxed in his delivery, keeping this perfectly fine narrative from being melodramatic or trite. I still think the title is a bit unwieldy, and the piano intro a bit derivative of "Walking in Memphis," but as a whole, I also think this is the best version of the song out there. B+
Prepare ship for ludicrous speed. This is what the old folks might call a "patter song," with its main purpose being "go as fast as humanly possible." And if you pay attention to the lyrics, you realize just how utterly goofy and ridiculous it is -- and how all the better it is for doing so. "Rollin'in dirt in a white T-shirt" is the kind of corny energy I think wouldn't have had a chance hitting at radio except in the months following the gonzo "Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy)." Sometimes I have no better defense of a song than "it's fun," but there's always room for fun in my book. Plus, it's just impressive on a technical level that he nailed this song on the first take, adding a little bit of rawness that makes it stick around far beyond the first listen. A
March 26: "That's What I Love About Sunday" by Craig Morgan
I'm no longer salty about this one blocking Sugarland's "Baby Girl" from #1 or taking forever to fall off the charts. Back when this song came out, Sunday to me meant going to church, hanging around for coffee, and then listening to Bob Kingsley while I stuffed the newspapers I would then deliver. It sounds so mundane, but with it came a sense of comfort. Most of the people at church were nice (although a lot of them had to grow to like me), and the paper route usually meant I had an hour or two to myself. What I also love about this song (see what I did there?) is how chill it is, and how it evokes Sunday without being sanctimonious. It's just about finding comfort in the everyday, and what's wrong with that? B+
April 23: "Anything but Mine" by Kenny Chesney
The summer love nostalgia song is a standard in country music, but usually it's a look backward. Where this song stands out is by framing everything in medias res. We're in the moment, knowing the breakup of summertime love is impending, but still doing our best to enjoy the time we've still got together for walks along the boardwalk, carnival rides, and beachside concerts. And I think it's that framing that makes this song stand out even in Kenny's already beach bum-skewing catalog; it's just that different and vivid. I can picture every moment they're enjoying before he goes back to Cleveland, and I can feel the emotion of a line like "In the midst of the music, I tell her I love her / And we both laugh 'cause we know it isn't true." His delivery is laid back enough to enhance the slow burn, and the production is that right mix of joyous yet somber in how it leans into the electric guitar. I've had many people who aren't Kenny Chesney fans tell me this is one of the songs of his they do like -- and as someone who is a fan of his, I feel I'm well within my right to endorse it even harder. Easily one of his best. A+
May 7: "It's Getting Better All the Time" by Brooks & Dunn
This is one of their best, but sadly, also one of their most overlooked. Against a haunting string and piano production, Ronnie Dunn lays out a guy who's struggling to get over her. "I don't stop breathing every time the phone rings / My heart don't race when someone's at my door" sets the tone immediately, and it's enhanced by revelations that he's stopped drinking and started relying on his faith to get him through. That last verse is the real gut-punch, though: he finally runs into her again, and holds back from speaking his mind. While it is "getting better all the time," it's clearly not perfect yet -- she's still on his mind. And it's that unresolved tension that, when combined with Ronnie's up-front vocal and the beautiful production, makes for one of the absolutely best in some late-career highlights for them. A+
Joe Diffie had aknack for the goofy that is hard to replicate (although songs like "Ships That Don't Come In" showed he could knock a ballad out of the park, too). And Jo Dee taking an obviously jokey song and giving it a dead-serious, determined delivery is a massive tonal misfire. The lyrics are just too comical to benefit from a serious read, what with lines like "twisted my heart 'til something snapped inside" and (admittedly now a little dated) name-drops of Prozac and enablers (oddly, she did snip out the Oprah name drop, which I probably would have let slide had she left it in). It all just fits so much better with the offhanded way Joe Diffie sang it, complete with his sharp little "eh-eh" after the second chorus. While I've already confessed to not being much of a fan of hers, I will say this isn't awful, and it's pretty well produced. But man, did it ever miss the point of the original. And it's not even the worst cover song on this album; she did an even more reprehensible job with Beth Hart's equally quirky "Delicious Surprise." C-
May 28: "Making Memories of Us" by Keith Urban
I actually heard this one for the first time as sung by Rodney Crowell on the Notorious Cherry Bombs album. It has Rodney's fingerprints all over it, what with its mix of depth ("Speak the language in a voice that you have never heard"), uncommon imagery ("in a cabin by a meadow where the wild bees swarm"), comfort ("you've been stretched to the limits, but it's all right now"), and humor ("I wanna steal your attention like a bad outlaw"). The underlying theme of trust is palpable in every line, and I think it's that emphasis on that theme that makes this a bit meatier than most romance songs. Keith gives a warm, tender read with a warm, tender production style that's in a similar vein to "You'll Think of Me" without feeling derivative. Plus, he got a freaking Rodney Crowell song to #1. How cool is that? A
July 2: "Fast Cars and Freedom" by Rascal Flatts
This was one of the last times Rascal Flatts truly felt breezy and easygoing, and it's almost like the end of an era on that front. That guitar riff is catchy, and I can't ever knock a "beautiful just the way you are" narrative. I also like how the narrative leans into the car imagery, referencing Chevrolet Nova and gravel roads -- images that weren't nearly as cliché then as they would be in the bro-country era. There's also an intentional break in flow in the chorus with the line "baby, don't move, right there it is," and again when all the instruments drop out of the hook. Subversive compositional tricks like that do a lot to elevate a song this lighthearted and catchy. It's not trying to be the deepest thing ever; it's just looking for a light-hearted sing-along with a couple of minor twists. And what's wrong with that? B+
Not unlike Kevin John Coyne, whose work inspired this list, this song had to grow on me. I think I was just choking on the title. I've often dragged songs that lean too hard into the braggadocio (it's why "I Got My Game On" is my least-favorite Trace Adkins song), but this one is an extremely clever subversion. This guy is in tough situations where he's used to just pulling out his man card, but he's getting older. But when presented with attractive women and a bar fight, he initially turns it all down -- only to turn back around with an admission that yeah, I guess I can do it just this once. It's an unusual amount of brains added to the brawn, and it's all delivered with a knowing wink. This kind of self-deprecation is so unusual in the genre, and while it took quite a while for me to warm up to it, that slow burn just makes it all the stronger for me. A
September 3: "Mississippi Girl" by Faith Hill
An attempt to regain all the cred she'd destroyed by that poppy Cry album, this countrified take on "Jenny from the Block" still somehow manages to be at least a little less cringe than the context would have you believe. I like that it name-drops her actual hometown, and the chorus is catchy (although I don't think I've ever seen Faith Hill in a baseball cap). The production is pretty much on point, too, what with the unusual chord structures and mandolin. Admittedly, 2005-me knew almost nothing about the context and thought the song was okay on its own merits. Context may drag it down some, but not to the point I'd call it awful. Transparent and forced? Maybe a little. But still, I can't hate it no matter how hard I try, so there's probably some intangible making it not ring as false for me as it might for someone else. Or maybe it's just nostalgia for a time when I didn't know how deep the rabbit hole actually went. B-
September 17: "Play Something Country" by Brooks & Dunn
It's disappointing to see them regress this quickly in one song. Some of their worst '90s hits ("Little Miss Honky Tonk," "Mama Don't Get Dressed Up for Nothing") find them putting sexist words in the mouths of women, and this is another such example. The honky-tonk lady goes into a bar and demands the DJ switch from P Diddy (I doubt Ronnie even knows who that is) in favor of country music. While this one isn't nearly as misogynstic as a song with the phrase "buckle bunny" in it, it still loses points for the hook being so closely derivative of "Werewolves of London" that I'm surprised Warren Zevon's estate didn't sue. And for all the honky-tonk greats they name-drop (and for some reason, Keith Urban), the only female artist they could conjure up was Patsy Cline? Even Gretchen Wilson, who inspired this song, dug a little deeper by name-dropping Tanya Tucker. The production is also unnecessarily loud for no reason, and just like so many B&D songs, I'm not sure Kix was even in the studio at any point. What a waste of Ronnie, and of co-writer Terry McBride for that matter. C-
You mean to tell me we got Rodney Crowell and a Radney Foster-George Ducas co-write to #1 in 2005? Awesome. This is easily one of her best by being one of his best. That guitar hook draws you in instantly, leading into "I'm gonna do it, darling / I could waste time trying to figure it out / But I'm jumpin' anyhow," which says so much with so few words. She's never been in love before, but she's finally found The One and it just feels too right to hold back any longer. And while it sounds so ordinary on paper, that production and infectious chorus -- replete with a Tom Petty reference -- absolutely soar. I can hear both writers on this, as the melody evokes "Nobody Wins" and "Lipstick Promises" in all the right ways. This song just brims with an anthemic sense of happiness. Right here, right now's the perfect spot, the perfect time to call this not only her best #1, but also one of her best period. A+
Best of the year. This song uses the first verse to characterize the narrator's father as a story-teller, and how the younger narrator would initially be bored but ultimately become captivated. Later on, when the now-grown narrator is struggling to make ends meet and feeling like he's let down his father, in comes some of the best advice in country music: "If you're doing what you're able / And putting food there on the table / And providing for the family that you love / That's something to be proud of / And if all you ever really do is the best you can / Well, you did it, man." I can't tell you how many times I've cut myself down for being 37 and working two jobs just to spend it all on groceries and cat food -- before I realize hey, I'm better off than I was even two years ago, and way better off than I was in my 20s. The spacious, guitar-heavy production, and the inspired decision to have Eddie do the verses and Troy the chorus, make for a very memorable sound design. But ultimately, it's that second chorus and bridge that take this from a merely great story song to sharp, relatable life advice that hits me really hard in the heart every single time. A+
This song got hardly any airplay in my market, and I can't remember ever hearing it even once after it fell off the charts. I still have no idea how it managed to stay on top for six weeks, because it sure didn't feel like it did. But that's not a comment on its quality. I've always been bugged by the slightly mismatched scansion of the opening lines ("Friday night and the moon is high / I'm wide-awake just watchin' you sleep / And I promise you, you're gonna have / More than just the things that you need"). but the overall promise of "things will get better; just stick with me" is admirable. The melody and production are a bit tighter structured than "Somebody Like You," feeling almost like a march at times and helping to make it sound less like a clone of that song. And you can't go wrong with that ganjo. I could've wrongly dismissed this as filler, but I'm glad I gave it another listen, because it's way better than I remember. B+
December 3: "Come a Little Closer" by Dierks Bentley
Dierks Bentley tries to get his Conway Twitty on and succeeds. This one's a bit louder and rougher-edged than Conway got, but to me, that helps this make-out number feel all the more inspired. With that strong strum and his gravelly delivery, he feels like a slightly raw guy who wants to show a more passionate, sensitive side. Lyrically, it's what you'd expect among country make-out jams, helped with a clever double entendre about stripping it down to the basics. It's nothing mind-blowing or subversive, but it's different enough from the formula to stand on its own. This was the exact point where I considered his success not to be a fluke. B+
December 17: "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off" by Joe Nichols
The image of a girl who gets drunk enough to lose clothing could be a bit squicky in the wrong hands, but Joe Nichols is too chill to sound like a creep. I also love how he's able to lean into the joke by suggesting she wear extra layers or imagining her come home in a tablecloth. (I remember my mom being amused by how nonchalantly he says she's "just havin' fun.") There's never a sense that she loses her sense of agency or is incapacitated enough for someone to take advantage of her -- it's just a light-hearted joke that you probably shouldn't take at face value. Despite how wordy it feels for a joke song, it never feels like it's too long, either. (Especially in the context of the previous single "What's a Guy Gotta Do," whose entire lyrics could fit in a fortune cookie.) We could use more fun songs like this now and then. B+
December 31: "Must Be Doin' Somethin' Right" by Billy Currington
Rivaling Dierks's take on Conway, we get Billy's take. I honestly didn't expect it after a fantastic drunk father song, a light-hearted radio ditty, and a terrible duet with Shania, but I'll more than welcome it. Billy's voice is deeper and a bit more laid-back than Dierks, and his melodic choices here flow a bit better. I also like how, instead of being confident in his success with his woman, this guy knows how unpredictable she is and is afraid of a wrong move. You can feel the relief when he realizes he's "on the right road" and making the right moves. I think it's that unpredictability that makes this song unique among country make-out songs; rarely is the guy so unsure. And you know me -- twisting a formula around is almost always a good move. A-
YO. Is it me or is everyone crazy busy right now? It’s probably that we’re all bursting at the seams with that warm weather optimism, thinking about living in shorts for a few months, drinking in the garage, summer shows, tubing, the smell of the grill. All the best things about life happen in the warm weather.
Anyhow, in the spirit of spring officially here, let’s get y’all up to speed on some of the rad shit happening around and in the world of music, shall we? Let’s Roundup.
Ok, so first off, The Dirt dropped last week. People who love the Crüe are happy while everyone else with two eyeballs says it sucks. [Editor’s note: (insert eyeroll emoji)] I was going to review it, but my best friend likes to remind me that I hate the band and everything 1980’s cock rock. So, I have nothing to add to this except, while I like rock and roll stories, seeing Tommy Lee in a thong doesn’t interest me in the least. Shit is so wack.
ANYHOW,
Jerry Lee Lewis suffered a stroke and has effectively canceled his New Orleans Jazzfest appearance. Big up’s to The Killer and hopefully, he’ll have a speedy recovery.
If you’re into Chelsea Wolfe’s brooding, check out Louise Lemón’s new record, “A Broken Heart, is An Open Heart.” It’s got all of the doomy witch vibes one needs. It’s a little spooky and moody, but ultimately, solidly evil. Listen to it here.
Another female-fronted kick to the neck, Low Dose is dropping a raging new album that feels like a mix of the Big Business + Melvins era, but approachably singy, sprinkled with a touch of the riot grrrl sound. Featuring ex-members of Fight Amp, Lose Dose is an easy winner if you’re looking for something that’s heavy but 100% relatable if you’ve ever had to deal with adult emotional problems.
Brooks and Dunn are nominated for the Country Music Hall of Fame, and honestly, if you haven’t had a lonely night to “Neon Moon,” you’re not doing it right.
Vale is a new death metal + black metal band that’s doing some seriously grim shit. If you need something KVLT as FUCK, this will whet your appetite. Check out Vale here.
Three new records you need in your life are dropping within the next week or so:
Yawpers - Human Question
Mekons - Deserted
Vandoliers - Forever(out now)
Don’t sleep on any of these, I’ve covered all three and they’re all bangers.
Sharkmuffin’s new jammer “Fate” is straight up sick. If you’ve got a love for My Bloody Valentine, get on this ASAP. I wish I’d of caught their SXSW sets because apparently, they kicked the shit out of everyone and I had no idea.
Dick Dale, the King of Surf Rock died. Mad respect to the man who wrote “Misirlou” aka the best tune to ever open a movie.
ALBERICH UNVEILS “CHILSONG CHAMBER” - I don’t really know what to make of this, other than it reminds me of living with my friend Mike in my early 20’s. He was on all of this stuff. Took me to see KMFDM, Venetian Snares, all kinds of good stuff. I was hanging with dudes in black boots and shorts and saw folks headbang to synthesizers. So, get on this if that’s your speed.
And finally, Full of Hell is back. If you’re looking to get your teeth kicked in. Look no further. They’re easily one of the best new pissed off, heavy bands in the game. Watch their new one here.
