Showing posts with label Maddie & Tae. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Maddie & Tae. Show all posts

Sep 2, 2016

Country Fantasy Football Team Names 2016


This is the last weekend for fantasy football drafts before the NFL season starts next week. 
Here are some ridiculous and punny, if not funny, country music related names you could 
use for fantasy teams. Or add your own in the comments!
___________________________

Are You Sure Peyton Done It This Way?

Band of Broncos

Odell Where Art Thou

Gurley in a Country Song

Rollerskating Buffalo Herd

Gronk on a Plane

Real Men Love Jameis

Jordy On My Mind

Beatin' Philly and Kickin' Ass

Different for Cowboys

Manning Doesn't Play Anymore

Devonta Wanna Tonight

Dez He Love You

Me and Bobby Griffin III

A Good Year for DeAndre

Finally Sunday

Better as Amari

Quaker City Seahawks

Dak Where I Come From

Le'Veon on a Jet Plane

Oct 22, 2015

Carl Outlaw, Real Country Fan, Reviews Maddie & Tae "Shut Up & Fish"

Trailer likes these girls for some reason and so do a bunch of other wusses who want to give any singer with real instruments a pass and say their alot closer to real country then other stuff on POPCUNTRY radio. Who cares? Do you want a cookie for not rapping in you're damn song?

I never liked Maddy & Tay, never will. They suck. I don't care if they sang a song making fun of "bros," it was all for the money. They do not deserve any thought. At the end of the day there still shitty pop country. The only chicks singing real country now is NOBODY. Take your Kacey Musgrove and your Ashly Monrow and shove em up your ass with Taylor Swift as far as I'm concerned. They ain't never drove a big rig or worked a tug or plowed a row, so don't talk to me about them bein' country. Loretta Lin was the last real woman country singer cause she raised a mess of kids in a shack and whooped her husband's ass all the time.



Now, lets get into this song. LOL right. As if I'm listening to this. It's called "Shut Up and Fish" so you know its some corny bullshit from the title alone. Brad Paislay called, girls, he wants his career of making dumbass joke songs in to big hits back. Ya'll so-called bloggers and critics just get bent all out of shape over some girls singing with a tiny little drawl and being cute and whatnot. It's a smoke screen and a smoke show. Their hot, nobodies denying that. But that and $1.29 will buy you a Steel Reserve to wash the thought of this crappy song out of you're mind!



It just goes to show you my great taste in country music. I have never heard of Luke Bryan before this month. I don't know what that has to do with this song; theres just a nagging in the back of my brain to say that every day if I have the chance. 


Anyway, somebody call me when Maddey and Taye grab a washboard and a jug and get real. And I don't mean start a jug band, I mean wash my clothes and bring me a drink, LOL. Keep it country!

Jan 15, 2015

It's Hard Out Here for a Bro


Hard Out Here for a Bro
©2015 FTM Satire

Since the bloggers started killing fun
I can't call girls a hottie
All I can say's she's my favorite one
With a physically fit body
And the label says we drink too much
So turn up Coca Cola
As I drive my eco-friendly truck
Can't tell her to slide it over

It's hard out here for a bro
They won't let me sing about hoes
Can't do the stanky legg on my tailgate
Can only turn the party up about halfway
It's hard out here for a bro

Maddie & Tae have been throwing shade
And old ass singers hatin'
Sayin' all I do is drink and get laid
Well duh, ain't it great man?
But here I am driving legal speeds
With no chains on my wallet
Liberals out here killin' my dreams
Maybe I'll go back to college

It's hard out here for a bro
Tides are turning on Music Row
Can't crack a cold one in my Chevrolet
Can only turn the party up about halfway
It's hard out here for a bro

Bridge
I miss getting turnt
Things are changing so fast
I miss Ed Hardy, I miss swaying ass

It's hard out here for a bro
They won't let me sing about hoes
Can't do the Shmoney dance on my tailgate
Can only turn the party up about halfway
It's hard out here for a bro

Dec 9, 2014

Three Up Three Down: December '14



3 Up


Maddie & Tae - Girl in a Country Song
This is both a good song and a culturally significant song. Rarely do those two things equal a popular song, but here we are with it sitting at #1 on the Mediabase charts and others. Are listeners grinning a little and moving on to the next booty-on-a-tailgate song or nodding their heads in acknowledgement? It's hard to know right now, but I suppose we'll see in time. The fact that these thoughts about sexism and clich├ęs in country music are now out there beyond FTM's constant complaining and the occasional newspaper website think-piece is a good start. The fact that Maddie and Tae have proven on their recent EP to be more than the vehicle for what some surely consider a novelty song is even more favorable. Fingers crossed.
B+


Eric Church - Talladega
Eric Church does nostalgia better than anyone on the charts right now because he starts with the personal and makes it sound universal, while everyone else seems to be taking the opposite approach. "Talledega" sounds like a big ol' yeehaw, NASCAR loving anthem if you just pay attention to the high points, but it's really a small story wrapped in a big idea. The chorus might call on everybody to sing along and it may beg for sponsorship opportunities, but the verses actually make you miss the fun and friends from that trip you may or may not have ever even made to watch cars turn left. It's wistful and epic and everything this kind of song should be.
A


Jake Owen - What We Ain't Got
Co-written by Travis Meadows and Travis Jerome Goff, "What We Ain't Got" is a powerful ballad about never being satisfied with with one's situation, possessions and relationships. It's a simple longing that falls into several categories of the Christian concept of sin, but one that no one is immune to. Jake Owen spoke of this song as a harbinger of change and he wasn't over-hyping it. The song opens Owen's field of view and enlivens the possibilities for his future work being more varied and deeper than flip-flops, summer flings and tan lines. It's also great for country radio, since its frequent play forces dunderhead bro's to listen to something with actual artistic merit and positive moral implications. Jake's vocal talent and commercial momentum combined with a truly great song make this a release of considerable importance.
A+


3 Down


Parmalee - Close Your Eyes
They rhyme "hotter" with "water." That's enough to disqualify this song from being anything I'd ever listen to on purpose, but worse than that, "Close Your Eyes" is a color-by-numbers. bro-country lite song created specifically to be airplay filler. And now, it's top 10 airplay filler. The emperor has no clothes and nobody gives a shit. Sing familiar words with a familiar melody that fits into the current sonic model and don't make anybody think negative thoughts and you've got a hit. Well done, Parmalee, former rock band who couldn't hack it without switching genres to take advantage of country radio's doldrums. Take a bow.
D


Scotty McCreery - Feelin' It
I've said it before: Scotty McCreery has a fantastic country voice. Much like his vocal doppelganger, Josh Turner, he's struggled to find material that both fits his rich delivery and the whims of commercial country music. He's done it with this track - if by "done it" I mean, focused entirely on the whims portion of that last sentence. Not that he sounds bad singing this craptacular song, it's just that any minuscule thread of artistic quality is foregone for a steady run up Bob Kingsley's countdown. How bad is this song? Well, Ray-Bans are rayin' and cut-offs are cuttin', whatever those two statements mean. The build to the chorus is basically saying "here, I will continue to sing you this song about how we are enjoying chilling in the sun and drinking beverages." The chorus is basically saying "We are greatly enjoying chilling in the sun and drinking beverages." Then he rhymes "hotter" with "water" and you already know my disdain for that sort of thing. This song can take its "glossin' lip gloss" and kiss my ass; it's completely embarrassing and pathetic. Scotty, if you're going to use your gift to unleash tripe like this upon the world, I'd rather you go back and give minor league baseball a shot. "Screwball's screwin', catcher's chewin'…."
D-


Florida-Georgia Line - Sun Daze
I'm sure I've already said enough about this one with memes and whatnot, but hey, it still sucks. While I did actually like "Dirt," I'm starting to think these guys are just lowering the bar with nearly every single to make their mediocre work sound like classics. "Sun Daze" is stupid, derivative, artless, and is only catchy in the way that kidnapping sometimes brings about Stockholm syndrome. FGL's previous low-water mark was "This is How We Roll." That song was at least interesting with its obvious critic trolling slang and attitude. This song is just spectacularly awful and further proof that you can never underestimate the taste of the American public.
F

Jun 30, 2014

Maddie and Tae - Girl in a Country Song (you must hear or read this!)

Maddie and Tae are a new act who are coming onto the scene with quite the announcement of their arrival. The following song (I transcribed the lyrics also) not only takes down bro-country's treatment of women, it also directly calls out some of the offenders - not by name but by catch phrases and hooks from their tunes. We can discuss (or Triggerman can - he's better at that stuff) the paradox/irony/ramifications of a song like this being released by one of Borchetta's labels later, but for now just enjoy. The link is a stream of a wma file (which won't work on a Mac unless you have a VLC Player or something similar). Sorry, that's all that's available at the moment.





Girl in a Country Song
(Written by Maddie (Marlow), Tae(lynn Elizabeth Dye), and Aaron Scherz; 
Performed by Maddie & Tae)

Well I wish I had some shoes on my two bare feet
And it's gettin' kinda cold in these painted-on cut-off jeans
I hate the way this bikini top chafes
Do I really have to wear it all day?
(Yeah baby)

I hear you over there on your tailgate whistlin'
Sayin' "Hey girl," but you know I ain't listenin'
Cause I got a name and to you it ain't
pretty little thing, honey or baby
It's driving me red red red red red red redneck crazy

Being the girl in a country song
How in the world did it go so wrong?
Like all we're good for is looking good for
you and your friends on the weekend, nothin' more
We used to get a little respect
Now we're lucky if we even get
To climb up in the truck, keep our mouth shut, ride along
And be the girl in a country song

Well, shakin' my moneymaker ain't ever made me a dime
And there ain't no sugar for you in this shaker of mine
Tell me one more time you gotta get you some of that
Sure I'll slide on over, but you're gonna get slapped
These days it ain't easy being that…

Girl in a country song
How in the world did it go so wrong?
Like all we're good for is looking good for
you and your friends on the weekend, nothin' more
We used to get a little respect
Now we're lucky if we even get
To climb up in the truck, keep our mouth shut, ride along
And be the girl in a country song

Yep, yep, yep

Aw naw,
Conway and George Strait
Never did it this way
Back in the old days
Aw naw,
We ain't a cliche
That ain't no way
To treat a lady

Like a girl in a country song
How in the world did it go so wrong?
Like all we're good for is looking good for
you and your friends on the weekend, nothin' more
We used to get a little respect
Now we're lucky if we even get
To climb up in the truck, keep our mouth shut, ride along
Down some dirt road we don't even wanna be on
And be the girl in a country song

(Spoken)
Yeah baby
I ain't your tan legged Juliet
Can I put on some real clothes now?

Aw naw

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