Showing posts with label Chase Rice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chase Rice. Show all posts

Aug 14, 2019


The Highwaybros

Not to be outdone by the Highwomen's reimagining of The Highwaymen's "The Highwayman," a new group has formed... the Highwaybros.

(parody of "The Highwayman")

I am a highwaybro
Up and down backroads I do ride
With beer and baby by my side
Many a young maid set bare feet upon my dash
Many a city boy had me whoop his punk ass
The popo got me in the spring for DUI
But f*** em I still drive

I am a player
I just gave your girl a ride
And with her all night I’ll abide
I drive a Raptor round the square to impress hos
She liked my lift kit and the way my high beams glow
Never used no protection and I never will
I hope she’s on the pill

I was a left fielder
Who smoked too much dope every night
My scholarship’s been cast aside
A place called Belmont, but my folks let me stay though
I’m learning songwriting, lit, and basic bio
Curb saw my headshot and they want me to come down
I guess I’m big star bound
I'll always be around and around and around and around and around

I fly a middle finger
Across the Davidson countyside
Got a lot of artificial pride
I walk with swagger, stick my chest out like a man
Perhaps I may roll coal on a soy boy again
Or I may simply send a dick-pic to Elaine
But I will remain
My kind comes back again, and again and again and again and again

Oct 19, 2018

One-of-a-Kind New Country Singer Carves His Own Niche

by Trailer - Originally posted on Country California Wednesday, January 14, 2015 

Already named to The Boot's prestigious "Ones to Watch 2015" list, Brant Smith is poised for a breakthrough year and he wants you to know he's doing it his way. Our correspondent sat down with Bryant to find out what makes him stand out among this year's crop of stubble-chinned warblers. 

"Most debut artists don't get as much control over their music as Prestige Nashville has given me, but they saw something edgy and different in me and just handed over the reins," said Scott, molding a stray tuft of gelled hair back into the towering blond coiffure atop his head. Chris went on to explain how his first album will be a true portrait of his life and his completely distinctive upbringing. 

"Man, I grew up on a dirt road where there wasn't much to do, so me and my friends just kicked it the best way we knew how," explained Dylan. "I know this sounds crazy, but sometimes we'd just grab a few cold ones and some pretty girls and find a field to chill in. That's the kind of out-there stuff I want to bring to my music!" 

Chad's wildly idiosyncratic influences range anywhere from "good ol' country like Kenny and Trace" to Godsmack to Calvin Harris to Waka Flocka Flame. "Nobody out there's going to admit listening to all the crazy stuff I do, much less incorporate it into their country music," laughed Mark, pushing up the sleeves of his form-fitting grey henley. 

Steven, quite surprisingly a former high school quarterback, went on to say that he'd taken the unheard of step of co-writing the entire album with some of Nashville's lesser-known songwriters like Ashley Gorley, Josh Kear, and Kyle Jacobs. Jon expects to release an EP in early spring as he heads out in support of fellow maverick Chase Rice, with a full album to follow in the fall. 

Based on his nonconformist attitude and unusual backstory, we expect Lee to forge his own path outside the box on Music Row and become a force to reckon with on country radio. Listen to The Bobby Bones Show this Friday as Randy debuts his new single "Girl Let's Have a Good Time Tonight." 

Nov 2, 2017

Bro-Country Accused of Sexual Harassment

In a stunning and wide-reaching announcement yesterday, hundreds of thousands of young women accused bro-country of sexual harassment. The waning but still popular sub-genre of mainstream country music faces serious charges of using misogynistic language and requesting sexual favors from its female listeners from 2011 through this year. 

"It was a couple of years ago, but it feels like yesterday," said a shaken Lizzie Harrison. "He told me to get my little fine ass on the step, and that's just not okay." She related to us how she went along with it at the time - pretending to like the song and its implications - but has come to realize bro-country's inappropriateness.

Another accuser, Madison White, said that bro-country announced its intentions to "set her up on the kitchen sink" and "stick the pink umbrella" in her drink. "I know what he was talking about now - I was innocent at the time and I just sang along, but now I see how damaging that sort of language is" she told us.

Other allegations against bro-country include ordering "country girls" to shake their backsides, making constant reference to women's derrieres and legs, and plying young girls with alcohol. The legal implications of this tidal wave of serious assertions is unknown at this time, but we at Farce the Music fully support a swift and punitive outcome.

At press time, one unverified claim had come in from a Sherrie Summers of West Memphis, AR. "Bro-country grabbed my ass" she told us. We'll update this important story as more information comes in.

*I hate small type and shouldn't even have to say this but: This piece is in no way to minimize or make light of sexual harassment. In fact, I feel like some of the language used in bro-country actually does contribute to the degradation of decency and interpersonal relationships in this regard.*

Sep 14, 2017

Friday (The Movie) Country Reaction Gifs

When an attractive female walks by 
...wearing a vintage Waylon t-shirt

"You know, Thomas Rhett's album is actually
pretty good if you don't expect it to be country" 

When you see that Kane Brown has a top ten hit...
meaning that he'll be sticking around for a while.

If there was a fight between any woman on earth 
and Jason Aldean

"I got an extra ticket to Chase Rice; wanna go?"

When the post office loses your order 
of all Sturgill's albums on vinyl

When somebody says you hit like a girl 
and you say "Yeah, Loretta Lynn"

When you're at a folk festival in Colorado 
and somebody asks if you're enjoying yourself

Apr 13, 2017

Napoleon Dynamite: Country Reaction Gifs

When Kelsea Ballerini comes on at the party

A FGL fan trying to understand addition and subtraction

The proper response to "Whiskey Riff is a pretty cool site"

When Skynyrd comes on.

You had to see Chase Rice with your new girlfriend? 
How was it?

Got that new Stapleton pre-ordered

When you run on a platform of playing 
SiriusXM Outlaw Country in the lunch room.

"You know, Old Dominion really isn't that bad"

Nov 29, 2016

Country TwitterFAIL: Nov. '16


*FALSE: It has Irish, Scottish, and British origins and was influenced by the blues afterwards.

Oct 5, 2016

Tom Hanks Country Reaction Gifs

Upon hearing that the Waffle House jukebox
has an exclusive Sturgill Simpson song:

 When pop country gets someone more talented than 
it deserves, like Chris Stapleton:

After years of trying desperately to remove his overly tight 
skinny jeans, Luke Bryan gets some advice from Tom Hanks:

 When you're on a favorite band's website and you see 
that they have a new album available for preorder:

Online argument with a Kane Brown fan:

"Hey driver, can you put on some Chase Rice?"

Thanks to Tom Simmons for sending these in to us!


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