Protests We Should All Agree On

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Every #1 Country Song of the 2000s: 2005

2005

January 22: "Awful, Beautiful Life" by Darryl Worley

This is an otherwise great slice-of-life song kneecapped by a pandering and unnecessary bridge. It's just an everyday story about a wayward man dragged to church by his wife, and then to a family gathering after that. I like the humor of the lines "My wife wanted to kill me but she tried to save me first / You're goin' if I have to drag your butt to church." Honestly, the entire song goes along pretty well, riding this Keith Urban-esque guitar groove and building up to a more than decent chorus of "I love this crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful, beautiful life." And I'd have absolutely no complaints until we get to the line "We said a prayer for cousin Michael in Iraq." The specific mention of Iraq irrevocably ties this song to a specific period in time, which itself is not a reason to denigrate the lyric. But in the context of Darryl Worley's already-present jingoism (see "Have You Forgotten?"), it just feels like unnecessary pandering. To be fair, it's not even remotely the worst attempt at doing so, but I think it does throw a wrench into the song; to be even fairer, I don't know if I'd have the same complaint if someone else sang it. Who knows? Maybe I'm just overthinking again. B

February 5: "Mud on the Tires" by Brad Paisley

Literally the only issue I have with this song is wondering why it was released in the winter. Had this and the stunning "Whiskey Lullaby" been swapped, would I be writing about the latter and lamenting that this was the song that got stuck at #3? Whatever the case, this is Brad doing his lightheartedness right. While taking a girl for a ride in your truck would become a played-out trope in the bro-country era, Brad's take is friendly and conversational. ("Have you been outside? It sure is a nice night / How 'bout a little test drive down by the lake?") I also love how laid-back and acoustic the production is, helped by a very fluid melody that makes some ear-pleasing leaps on the chorus. If Brad offered me a ride in his truck, I wouldn't turn it down, either. A

February 12: "Bless the Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts

"I made a lot of mistakes before finding The One" is a narrative that's not new to country. Just look at "Hurt Me Bad (In a Real Good Way)" by Patty Loveless as another example. This song had a long road to success, having been recorded by the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, Marcus Hummon, and Melodie Crittenden (who would later re-do it with Christian act Selah) before Rascal Flatts got to it. Surprisingly, there isn't a substantial difference among all the prior verisons -- they're all chill yet polished piano ballads, although I have to admit the NGDB version is a little too Michael Bolton for my tastes. Gary LeVox is pleasantly relaxed in his delivery, keeping this perfectly fine narrative from being melodramatic or trite. I still think the title is a bit unwieldy, and the piano intro a bit derivative of "Walking in Memphis," but as a whole, I also think this is the best version of the song out there. B+

March 19: "Nothin' to Lose" by Josh Gracin

Prepare ship for ludicrous speed. This is what the old folks might call a "patter song," with its main purpose being "go as fast as humanly possible." And if you pay attention to the lyrics, you realize just how utterly goofy and ridiculous it is -- and how all the better it is for doing so. "Rollin'  in dirt in a white T-shirt" is the kind of corny energy I think wouldn't have had a chance hitting at radio except in the months following the gonzo "Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy)." Sometimes I have no better defense of a song than "it's fun," but there's always room for fun in my book. Plus, it's just impressive on a technical level that he nailed this song on the first take, adding a little bit of rawness that makes it stick around far beyond the first listen. A

March 26: "That's What I Love About Sunday" by Craig Morgan

I'm no longer salty about this one blocking Sugarland's "Baby Girl" from #1 or taking forever to fall off the charts. Back when this song came out, Sunday to me meant going to church, hanging around for coffee, and then listening to Bob Kingsley while I stuffed the newspapers I would then deliver. It sounds so mundane, but with it came a sense of comfort. Most of the people at church were nice (although a lot of them had to grow to like me), and the paper route usually meant I had an hour or two to myself. What I also love about this song (see what I did there?) is how chill it is, and how it evokes Sunday without being sanctimonious. It's just about finding comfort in the everyday, and what's wrong with that? B+

April 23: "Anything but Mine" by Kenny Chesney

The summer love nostalgia song is a standard in country music, but usually it's a look backward. Where this song stands out is by framing everything in medias res. We're in the moment, knowing the breakup of summertime love is impending, but still doing our best to enjoy the time we've still got together for walks along the boardwalk, carnival rides, and beachside concerts. And I think it's that framing that makes this song stand out even in Kenny's already beach bum-skewing catalog; it's just that different and vivid. I can picture every moment they're enjoying before he goes back to Cleveland, and I can feel the emotion of a line like "In the midst of the music, I tell her I love her / And we both laugh 'cause we know it isn't true." His delivery is laid back enough to enhance the slow burn, and the production is that right mix of joyous yet somber in how it leans into the electric guitar. I've had many people who aren't Kenny Chesney fans tell me this is one of the songs of his they do like -- and as someone who is a fan of his, I feel I'm well within my right to endorse it even harder. Easily one of his best. A+

May 7: "It's Getting Better All the Time" by Brooks & Dunn

This is one of their best, but sadly, also one of their most overlooked. Against a haunting string and piano production, Ronnie Dunn lays out a guy who's struggling to get over her. "I don't stop breathing every time the phone rings / My heart don't race when someone's at my door" sets the tone immediately, and it's enhanced by revelations that he's stopped drinking and started relying on his faith to get him through. That last verse is the real gut-punch, though: he finally runs into her again, and holds back from speaking his mind. While it is "getting better all the time," it's clearly not perfect yet -- she's still on his mind. And it's that unresolved tension that, when combined with Ronnie's up-front vocal and the beautiful production, makes for one of the absolutely best in some late-career highlights for them. A+

May 14: "My Give a Damn's Busted" by Jo Dee Messina

Joe Diffie had a  knack for the goofy that is hard to replicate (although songs like "Ships That Don't Come In" showed he could knock a ballad out of the park, too). And Jo Dee taking an obviously jokey song and giving it a dead-serious, determined delivery is a massive tonal misfire. The lyrics are just too comical to benefit from a serious read, what with lines like "twisted my heart 'til something snapped inside" and (admittedly now a little dated) name-drops of Prozac and enablers (oddly, she did snip out the Oprah name drop, which I probably would have let slide had she left it in). It all just fits so much better with the offhanded way Joe Diffie sang it, complete with his sharp little "eh-eh" after the second chorus. While I've already confessed to not being much of a fan of hers, I will say this isn't awful, and it's pretty well produced. But man, did it ever miss the point of the original. And it's not even the worst cover song on this album; she did an even more reprehensible job with Beth Hart's equally quirky "Delicious Surprise." C-

May 28: "Making Memories of Us" by Keith Urban

I actually heard this one for the first time as sung by Rodney Crowell on the Notorious Cherry Bombs album. It has Rodney's fingerprints all over it, what with its mix of depth ("Speak the language in a voice that you have never heard"), uncommon imagery ("in a cabin by a meadow where the wild bees swarm"), comfort ("you've been stretched to the limits, but it's all right now"), and humor ("I wanna steal your attention like a bad outlaw"). The underlying theme of trust is palpable in every line, and I think it's that emphasis on that theme that makes this a bit meatier than most romance songs. Keith gives a warm, tender read with a warm, tender production style that's in a similar vein to "You'll Think of Me" without feeling derivative. Plus, he got a freaking Rodney Crowell song to #1. How cool is that? A

July 2: "Fast Cars and Freedom" by Rascal Flatts

This was one of the last times Rascal Flatts truly felt breezy and easygoing, and it's almost like the end of an era on that front. That guitar riff is catchy, and I can't ever knock a "beautiful just the way you are" narrative. I also like how the narrative leans into the car imagery, referencing Chevrolet Nova and gravel roads -- images that weren't nearly as cliché then as they would be in the bro-country era. There's also an intentional break in flow in the chorus with the line "baby, don't move, right there it is," and again when all the instruments drop out of the hook. Subversive compositional tricks like that do a lot to elevate a song this lighthearted and catchy. It's not trying to be the deepest thing ever; it's just looking for a light-hearted sing-along with a couple of minor twists. And what's wrong with that? B+

July 23: "As Good as I Once Was" by Toby Keith

Not unlike Kevin John Coyne, whose work inspired this list, this song had to grow on me. I think I was just choking on the title. I've often dragged songs that lean too hard into the braggadocio (it's why "I Got My Game On" is my least-favorite Trace Adkins song), but this one is an extremely clever subversion. This guy is in tough situations where he's used to just pulling out his man card, but he's getting older. But when presented with attractive women and a bar fight, he initially turns it all down -- only to turn back around with an admission that yeah, I guess I can do it just this once. It's an unusual amount of brains added to the brawn, and it's all delivered with a knowing wink. This kind of self-deprecation is so unusual in the genre, and while it took quite a while for me to warm up to it, that slow burn just makes it all the stronger for me. A

September 3: "Mississippi Girl" by Faith Hill

An attempt to regain all the cred she'd destroyed by that poppy Cry album, this countrified take on "Jenny from the Block" still somehow manages to be at least a little less cringe than the context would have you believe. I like that it name-drops her actual hometown, and the chorus is catchy (although I don't think I've ever seen Faith Hill in a baseball cap). The production is pretty much on point, too, what with the unusual chord structures and mandolin. Admittedly, 2005-me knew almost nothing about the context and thought the song was okay on its own merits. Context may drag it down some, but not to the point I'd call it awful. Transparent and forced? Maybe a little. But still, I can't hate it no matter how hard I try, so there's probably some intangible making it not ring as false for me as it might for someone else. Or maybe it's just nostalgia for a time when I didn't know how deep the rabbit hole actually went. B-

September 17: "Play Something Country" by Brooks & Dunn

It's disappointing to see them regress this quickly in one song. Some of their worst '90s hits ("Little Miss Honky Tonk," "Mama Don't Get Dressed Up for Nothing") find them putting sexist words in the mouths of women, and this is another such example. The honky-tonk lady goes into a bar and demands the DJ switch from P Diddy (I doubt Ronnie even knows who that is) in favor of country music. While this one isn't nearly as misogynstic as a song with the phrase "buckle bunny" in it, it still loses points for the hook being so closely derivative of "Werewolves of London" that I'm surprised Warren Zevon's estate didn't sue. And for all the honky-tonk greats they name-drop (and for some reason, Keith Urban), the only female artist they could conjure up was Patsy Cline? Even Gretchen Wilson, who inspired this song, dug a little deeper by name-dropping Tanya Tucker. The production is also unnecessarily loud for no reason, and just like so many B&D songs, I'm not sure Kix was even in the studio at any point. What a waste of Ronnie, and of co-writer Terry McBride for that matter. C-

September 24: "A Real Fine Place to Start" by Sara Evans

You mean to tell me we got Rodney Crowell and a Radney Foster-George Ducas co-write to #1 in 2005? Awesome. This is easily one of her best by being one of his best. That guitar hook draws you in instantly, leading into "I'm gonna do it, darling / I could waste time trying to figure it out / But I'm jumpin' anyhow," which says so much with so few words. She's never been in love before, but she's finally found The One and it just feels too right to hold back any longer. And while it sounds so ordinary on paper, that production and infectious chorus -- replete with a Tom Petty reference -- absolutely soar. I can hear both writers on this, as the melody evokes "Nobody Wins" and "Lipstick Promises" in all the right ways. This song just brims with an anthemic sense of happiness. Right here, right now's the perfect spot, the perfect time to call this not only her best #1, but also one of her best period. A+

October 8: "Something to Be Proud Of" by Montgomery Gentry

Best of the year. This song uses the first verse to characterize the narrator's father as a story-teller, and how the younger narrator would initially be bored but ultimately become captivated. Later on, when the now-grown narrator is struggling to make ends meet and feeling like he's let down his father, in comes some of the best advice in country music: "If you're doing what you're able / And putting food there on the table / And providing for the family that you love / That's something to be proud of / And if all you ever really do is the best you can / Well, you did it, man." I can't tell you how many times I've cut myself down for being 37 and working two jobs just to spend it all on groceries and cat food -- before I realize hey, I'm better off than I was even two years ago, and way better off than I was in my 20s. The spacious, guitar-heavy production, and the inspired decision to have Eddie do the verses and Troy the chorus, make for a very memorable sound design. But ultimately, it's that second chorus and bridge that take this from a merely great story song to sharp, relatable life advice that hits me really hard in the heart every single time. A+

October 22: "Better Life" by Keith Urban

This song got hardly any airplay in my market, and I can't remember ever hearing it even once after it fell off the charts. I still have no idea how it managed to stay on top for six weeks, because it sure didn't feel like it did. But that's not a comment on its quality. I've always been bugged by the slightly mismatched scansion of the opening lines ("Friday night and the moon is high / I'm wide-awake just watchin' you sleep / And I promise you, you're gonna have / More than just the things that you need"). but the overall promise of "things will get better; just stick with me" is admirable. The melody and production are a bit tighter structured than "Somebody Like You," feeling almost like a march at times and helping to make it sound less like a clone of that song. And you can't go wrong with that ganjo. I could've wrongly dismissed this as filler, but I'm glad I gave it another listen, because it's way better than I remember. B+

December 3: "Come a Little Closer" by Dierks Bentley

Dierks Bentley tries to get his Conway Twitty on and succeeds. This one's a bit louder and rougher-edged than Conway got, but to me, that helps this make-out number feel all the more inspired. With that strong strum and his gravelly delivery, he feels like a slightly raw guy who wants to show a more passionate, sensitive side. Lyrically, it's what you'd expect among country make-out jams, helped with a clever double entendre about stripping it down to the basics. It's nothing mind-blowing or subversive, but it's different enough from the formula to stand on its own. This was the exact point where I considered his success not to be a fluke. B+

December 17: "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off" by Joe Nichols

The image of a girl who gets drunk enough to lose clothing could be a bit squicky in the wrong hands, but Joe Nichols is too chill to sound like a creep. I also love how he's able to lean into the joke by suggesting she wear extra layers or imagining her come home in a tablecloth. (I remember my mom being amused by how nonchalantly he says she's "just havin' fun.") There's never a sense that she loses her sense of agency or is incapacitated enough for someone to take advantage of her -- it's just a light-hearted joke that you probably shouldn't take at face value. Despite how wordy it feels for a joke song, it never feels like it's too long, either. (Especially in the context of the previous single "What's a Guy Gotta Do," whose entire lyrics could fit in a fortune cookie.) We could use more fun songs like this now and then. B+

December 31: "Must Be Doin' Somethin' Right" by Billy Currington

Rivaling Dierks's take on Conway, we get Billy's take. I honestly didn't expect it after a fantastic drunk father song, a light-hearted radio ditty, and a terrible duet with Shania, but I'll more than welcome it. Billy's voice is deeper and a bit more laid-back than Dierks, and his melodic choices here flow a bit better. I also like how, instead of being confident in his success with his woman, this guy knows how unpredictable she is and is afraid of a wrong move. You can feel the relief when he realizes he's "on the right road" and making the right moves. I think it's that unpredictability that makes this song unique among country make-out songs; rarely is the guy so unsure. And you know me -- twisting a formula around is almost always a good move. A-

Every #1 Country Song of the 2000s: 2004

2004

February 7: "Remember When" by Alan Jackson

I don't know why, but Alan tends to hit hardest for me when he's being romantic. "Song for the Life" and "I'll Go On Loving You" are among my favorites of his, and so is this one. Maybe it's because I know about his temporary separation from long-time wife Denise, which is the kind of personal detail these songs often lack. Maybe it's just how naturally flowing the progress of this song is, from first meeting to various life changes to children to advancing age. Maybe it's the tender melody, with plenty of mandolin and just enough string section to sound lush without being bombastic -- not to mention the way the instrumental drops into a lower key before the last chorus raises it back up. Maybe it's the sense of finality with that last line "We won't be sad, we'll be glad / For all the life we had / And we'll remember when." All of these ingredients combine to make a country wedding standard that rivals "Look at Us" in how heartfelt and beautiful it is, touching even a heart as un-romantic as mine. A+

February 21: "American Soldier" by Toby Keith

I remember when this first came out, my immediate dismissal of it was "oh, he's just trying to placate those of us who didn't like 'Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue'." But then I heard Toby discuss the song on Bob Kingsley's Country Top 40, and he pointed out something I didn't notice the first time around. He doesn't actually get into the soldier stuff until the chorus. That whole first verse is just your standard family man, doing the best he can, working tirelessly... but it's not until the chorus that we find out it's because he's a soldier. He doesn't even add a verse after that; he just lets the twist stand on its own. Maybe the production is a little bombastic and on the nose (such as the bells), and maybe the lines about the soldier's duties aren't the most inspired either. But you know what? He got me with this one. And if he can nail the slow-burn on a patriotic song, then yeah, I'd say this one's all right. B+

March 20: "Watch the Wind Blow By" by Tim McGraw

This has to be the most forgotten of Tim McGraw's #1 hits. But I'd say that's more from being stuck in the shadow of an even bigger hit than anything else. This one has a very easy-going production style full of glassy guitar fills, Hammond organ, and a bit more drums than usual -- even before he starts singing, it just sounds like an easy-going walk with your lover on an autumn day. Sometimes it's okay if a song has low stakes like this; it's refreshing to just take in the everyday and enjoy the beauty of nature. I like that there's still some emotional investment in lines like "All your troubles and your sorrows, they won't last" to give the song a little more weight. It's a shame the wind blew this one away so quickly, because I think it's one of his most overlooked gems. A

April 3: "When the Sun Goes Down" by Kenny Chesney

feat. Uncle Kracker

Literally the only problem I have with this song is that it has Uncle Kracker on it. Oh well, it could be worse; it could've been Kid Rock. This one isn't trying to be anything more than a party-hearty sing-along, and on that front it succeeds. It's got an energy to its production, and the sonic surroundings make Uncle Kracker sound way less white-trash than usual. I also think it's interesting that it's one of the few #1 hits in this stretch to have only one writer. And "everything gets hotter when the sun goes down" is a hell of a hook. Maybe it's a bit of a letdown that something this lightweight fell between much meatier songs, but I can't fault him for wanting to have a little fun in between. B

May 8: "You'll Think of Me" by Keith Urban

While this one isn't as guitar-heavy, it's still a beautiful, evocative, calm look at a relationship that isn't working out. I like that it starts out with him driving around to clear his head, and even works in a "you'll regret it" to his ex. He walks an emotional tightrope between introspective and bitter, never sounding too light or too harsh. Lines like "I guess I'm getting just a little tired of this / And all the baggage that seems to still exist" and "take your cat but leave my sweater" -- the latter line being one I see singled out the most in talks about this song -- reveal a high level of detail. There is an incredible amount of emotion in every note of this, and it perfectly threads every single one. This is probably the most dramatic nuance crammed into a single song since "All These Years," and it's one of the most vivid takes on a breakup in the entire genre. A+

May 22: "Mayberry" by Rascal Flatts

Usually, it bothers me when people pine for a sanitized, Norman Rockwell-esque picture of "the good ol' days" when they're far too young to remember such a time. But this one goes out of its way to establish that the image longed for is a fictional one -- the setting of The Andy Griffith Show, for those of you not in the loop -- and that makes it go down easier. While lines like "Sunday was a day of rest / Now it's one more day for progress" come dangerously close to setting off my "OK, boomer" alarms, the desire to get away from it all is instantly relatable enough to pull it back. I also like that the image fades away at the end, driving home that this song's message is not a lecture, just escapism. It helps that Rascal Flatts were still pretty laid-back at this point, enhancing the "get away from it all" feel. B+

May 29: "Redneck Woman" by Gretchen Wilson

Gretchen Wilson offered an enjoyable amount of grit right out of the gate. She prefers beer to champagne and she'd rather shop at Walmart than Victoria's Secret. She listens to Tanya Tucker and Lynyrd Skynyrd. This just sounds like the kind of people I know and have associated with, and I like that -- unlike most other songs of this sort -- she goes out of her way to explain why she's proud to be what Jeff Foxworthy once defined as a "glorious absence of sophistication." And for a novelty song -- especially one with the MuzikMafia's fingerprints all over it -- that's a surprising amount of nuance. The melody is anthemic, and Gretchen's rough, slightly off-pitch delivery works with the material instead of against it. Sure, she immediately went cartoonishly over-the-top with "Here for the Party" and "All Jacked Up," and her ballads almost entirely rang false. So maybe in the end, there wasn't much more to her than this. But what there was in this song is so damn different, relatable, and self-aware that I can't help but like it. B+

July 3: "If You Ever Stop Loving Me" by Montgomery Gentry

I'm surprised it took Montgomery Gentry so long to get a #1 hit, because it certainly wasn't an issue of quality. I could waste this entire review listing off all the songs of theirs I didn't get to rave about. Of course, that doesn't mean this one's unworthy. Right out of the gate we get one of the catchiest acoustic guitar riffs of the decade. The opening lines lay out that this is a tough man who withstood parental abuse and street fights to make him tough -- but just before you think it's going to be a machismo anthem, he drops this winner of a line: "Only God knows where I'd be / If you ever stop loving me." The late Troy Gentry has the right amount of swagger, playfulness, and grit to make the song hit just right, and the production's on point with its heavy bass, banjo, and even a turntable scratch. This was more than worthy of finally getting them to the top. A

July 10: "Whiskey Girl" by Toby Keith

I think the guitar tone alone raises this a notch or two for me. Other than that, there's not really a lot of flavor here. It's a standard "man, my girl is hot" lyric without a real hook. While "beer just makes her turn up her nose" is kind of a cute image and "but I like 'em rough" does stick out a bit for an intentional break in the rhyme scheme, everything else is extremely by-the-numbers. Thankfully, it doesn't feel nearly as creepy as Travis Tritt's "The Girl's Gone Wild," but that's about all I can say in its favor. This is just filler, and that's not usually a term I can use to describe a Toby Keith song, good or bad. C

July 17: "Live Like You Were Dying" by Tim McGraw

Given my historic dislike of motivational mega-hits, you'd probably think I'd hate this one too. But unlike most, this one actually has a narrative instead of succumbing to sound-bites. It tells of a man who, faced with an unfavorable health diagnosis, gets (in Rick Trevino's words) a real bad case of carpe diem and goes off doing all the things he's previously denied himself. It's an uplifting message that I can't really fault, and I don't think the execution is terrible here, either. (It helps that a friend actually did have a cancer scare when I wrote this.) I may question how good of an idea it is to do such strenuous activities as skydiving when faced with a life-threatening illness. I may question why we needed to know the name of the bull he rides. I may question the odd scansion of "gave forgiveness I'd been denyin'." And I may question how much of that long note at the end was done without studio trickery, while also thinking the song gets just a tad bombastic at the end regardless. But at the end of the day, this one is just too likable and relatable for me to really get bothered by it. B+

April 7: "Somebody" by Reba McEntire

This is a bit of a different song for her, but it works. I like the acoustic guitar and Dobro intro, which give Reba a slightly different sonic palette. The narrative is believable, too: the guy's in a bad relationship he wants to get out of , and a waitress offers the solution: "somebody in the next car / Somebody on the morning train / Somebody in the coffee shop that you walk right by every day." After a failed attempt with someone else at his apartment complex, who does he end up falling in love with? You guessed it, the waitress. If you can see that ending coming, then chalk it up to Reba's warm, casual tone -- easily leagues above the plastic read of Mark Wills's original -- to get you there. I could totally believe this happening, and that's ultimately what makes it work. Reba didn't have her eyes on the charts for most of this decade, but I'm glad she got to the top again with a song strong enough to make me forgive the blatant chart manipulation scheme it took to get her there. A

September 11: "Girls Lie Too" by Terri Clark

Battle of the sexes humor was already played out at the time. I've heard literally every joke in this song a billion times by hack comedians, and Terri adds absolutely nothing new to the proceedings -- other than a really weak-willed attempt at subversion in the title. But said attempt is little more than a half-baked "NOT!" joke from Wayne's World, which also was tremendously played out long before 2004. Oh, you "like Hooters for their hot wings too"? Never heard that one before. "Size don't matter anyway"? TMI, Terri. I don't think I've heard so many jokes bomb so hard since the last time I scrolled through my own Twitter feed. And Terri's oddly square-jaw delivery doesn't really help matters either. This one also got to #1 entirely through a chart manipulation scheme (to the point Billboard re-factored the chart entirely to stop it from happening again), but unlike "Somebody" it's just an inexcusably bad song. F

September 18: "Days Go By" by Keith Urban

I love everything about this song. All of the lyrics tie into a fast car on the freeway in some fashion, with some real gems like comparing the speed to holding your hand out the window -- an image memorable enough for me to forgive the chorus for rhyming "by" with "by." It's this unusual mix of urgency and introspection, of living in the moment because they all go by so fast, that makes this song so compelling. And that mix is even reflected in the instrumentation, which pits Keith's guitar wizardry against some well-placed mandolin on that hard-driving chorus, then calms down for a more relaxed bridge and acoustic reprise of the chorus before kicking back into full gear. Literally everything on this track works, and it's songs like this that make me realize why I grew to like him so much in this era. A

October 16: "Suds in the Bucket" by Sara Evans

Teenage love can make for some really great songs. I just love the down-home image of the girl running off to Las Vegas (a detail saved until the last verse) without even finishing the laundry -- which itself is done the old-fashioned way, in a washtub and all. I also love the added detail of their elopement spreading through the small-town rumor mill. Even the beauticians and preachers are in on this one! This song is cute, charming, and retro without ever sounding forced or anachronistic. And it's helped by Sara's distinctive twang and the equally twangy production -- lots of baritone guitar, steel, fiddle, and banjo in the mix here. The melody is way above the norm too, with a few dips in and out of Mixolydian mode. This is an absolute charmer on all accounts. A

October 23: "I Hate Everything" by George Strait

No, this isn't about the British YouTuber who reviews bad movies. It's a left-of-center story song between two men at a bar. The one of the two who isn't the narrator is bitter to the point of nihilism, drinking and going on about all the things he "hates" now that he's divorced. Instead of trying to offer advice, the narrator just lets the guy ramble. (I love the line "If it weren't for my two kids, I'd hate my ex-wife.") At the end, we find out the narrator was in a rough relationship himself, and was inspired to patch things up because of the other guy, whose drinks he even pays for. (I also find it interesting that by 2004, we were already casually writing cell phones into country songs.) It's an inspired yet relatable character sketch with a great twist ending -- just the kind of thing that makes for a great country song, especially one sung by King George. A

November 6: "In a Real Love" by Phil Vassar

After a long gap, Phil Vassar finally returns to the top. This is probably his best set of lyrics since his debut album, showing his knack for uncommon vernacular. It's an everyman sketch of a struggling man and woman -- the well-worn "we don't have much, but we have each other" trope. Like most of his debut album and the songs he wrote before he made it big, it shines through uncommon vernacular ("spendin' dollars and makin' dimes"), along with plenty of other uncommon terms, such as it being probably the only song to specifically call a pregnancy test an EPT. The arrangement is also a tad grittier than usual, something I remember many reviewers commenting on during this album cycle, and something that enhances the personality of this track. While he hung around for quite a while afterward, it's a shame he almost never returned to this level of quality. A-

November 20: "Mr. Mom" by Lonestar

It says something about the decline of Lonestar when their first #1 name-dropped the KKK and their last name-dropped Barney. (Although if someone name-dropped Bluey in a modern song, I doubt I'd complain.) The mom has just taken up a job, so it's now the father's turn to run the house, and of course he fails miserably. It's the same stock trope you've seen in a billion sitcoms, and like "30 minutes or its free" pizza delivery or "they're going to build a mall," it stuck around as a stock sitcom plot long after real-life situations (namely, the fact that even in 2004, nearly every two-parent household had both parents working) made it obsolete. Richie gives a cloying, over-the-top vocal read, and the production is way too clean even by Dann Huff's standards. I will say that the final verse's overt admiration for the woman in this scenario is a mark in this song's favor, but by then it's too little, too late. Go listen to Cledus T. Judd's "Where's Your Mommy?" instead if you want this played for self-deprecation instead of pandering. C-

December 4: "Nothing On but the Radio" by Gary Allan

The best of Gary Allan's #1 hits by far. Admittedly, with how bad "Man to Man" and "Tough Little Boys" were, that's a low bar to clear, but Gary went for something a little different here and nailed it. While the hook isn't the most original thing -- I remember an obscure hit from 1982 by the Younger Brothers with a slightly different arrangement of words in the title -- this one has a lot going for it. That guitar riff is catchy as hell, and Gary sounds like he's having fun singing it. Maybe the individual lyrics aren't the most inspired -- fire/higher/desire rhymes and all -- but this song's just too likable for me to let that bring me down much. Being lighthearted yet sensual is a tough needle to thread, and I'd say this one did the trick. B+

December 18: "Back When" by Tim McGraw

A lot of Tim's songs had a somewhat progressive edge to them, so it's jarring to hear him suddenly become this preachy and retrograde. He longs for the "old and outdated way of life" and then makes borderline tasteless jokes about words like "ho," "coke," "crack," and "screw" (fun fact: did you know the use of "screw" as a euphemism for sex dates to 1725?). I especially have to call into question the utter hypocrisy of him calling out "pop in my country" in the same year he cut a duet with Nelly and had one of the biggest country crossover hits. And unlike "Mayberry," there's no sense of escapism. Thankfully, this isn't nearly as problematic (or hypocritical) as, say, Miranda Lambert calling for female subservience and shunning divorce in "Automatic." It is, however, still whiny and played-out pandering with a side of "get off my lawn!" D

December 25: "Some Beach" by Blake Shelton

Joke songs can overstay their welcomes if the joke doesn't land, but thankfully this one does. The way "some beach" sounds like "som'bitch" is clever and just edgy enough to work without having a Helluva Boss-esque "we have to swear in every sentence because that's what adults do" energy. All the situations that come up are realistic ones that tie into each other -- driving down the road to the dentist's office, only to spend too long waiting and then have a mishap in the dentist's chair -- showing a sense of continuity that puts this head and shoulders above most joke songs. Blake's delivery is cool, the production is cool, and I still laugh the thousandth time I hear it. What's not to love? A-