Gary Allan is Back!

Carl Outlaw, Real Country Fan, Reviews Chris Stapleton - Nobody to Blame

Chris Stapleton - Nobody to Blame

For the first time ever, I actually listened too a song Trailer wants me to review. I mean, with everybody getting their underdrawers wet over this Stapleton fella, I figured I needed to hear what's got 'em so hot and bothered.

"Nobody to Blame" sounds okay, I guess. Their's some stuff in they're that reminds me of Waylon a little bit. Dude can sing like a motherf****r, can't anybody deny that. It's still to damn poppy for me. Theirs a bass line in there that makes me think of the booty club I drive by going to the bar on Friday night's. Whats up with that? If I wanna listen too 2 Live Crue, I'll put on some Hoochie Mama and get lit tho. By the way, I've never heard a Florida-Georgia Line song, I only listen to real damn music.

But this is suppose too be country music. Baselines are stupid in real country music. Its just supposed to be a guitar and a fiddle and maybe a jug. Anyway, I thought this song was not terrible like George Straight or Puke Bryant when I listened to it. That's where things got interesting though.

Chris Stapleton's wikipedia page says he's a songwriter. Okay, thats fine. Some morons can't write there own songs; I get it - their lame, but I get it. But it also says he wrote songs for Thomas Rett, Gary Alan, Derrius Rucker and Kenny Chesney and Luke Bryant too. LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Now I'm pissed and I call Trailer and cuss him out! He tricked my ass.

Anybody who writes songs for those jokers is a fake and a fraud. Their killing country music and we need to save it some how. Chris is about as country as a ISIS sex orgy, or a Maroon 5 dildo, or Kim Kardasheein's ass. Chris Stapleton should call me and apologize. Somebody who does one thing in public but hides there secret life is a lying bastard. I'm pretty sure that's in the Bible.

Go pull your tricks on gullible bloggers and fake country fans, Mr. Stapleton. You're beard and long hair ain't fooling me. Your a sheep in wolf's clothing and your destroying country music one shitty song at a time. I don't care how much "talent" you have and how many "smart critics" think you're the shit, I think your shit. What a freaking idiot to real country music this guy is!

I'll be over here listening to badass music like Jamey Johnson. At least he'd never sell out!

Single Review: Gary Allan - Hangover Tonight

Gary Allan returns with a radio-friendly sexytime song, but is it any good? In a word, mostly. Chris Stapleton, Gary, and a couple other guys co-wrote this bluesy, boozy track and it's got a light-hearted feel that texturally fits mainstream's sonic sensibilities better than anything Gary's released in a while. It's modern, catchy, and though laid-back, it has that tempo thing radio desires. So, good for us and radio - we'll be hearing Gary on the airwaves for months to come. My only quibble with the song is that it gives off a vague air of blandness - though the hook of the song is unique enough - there's something of a generic feel to the song. It lacks a real burn, lacks that one über-memorable line. I suppose that's a part of the give and take required to make a song palatable for casual listeners, but it manages to take this tune a few notches down from Allan's best work. Still, it's infinity better than Aldean's recent creepy drinking-and-doing-it tune "Burnin' it Down," and it's great to have Gary back.

Grade: Somewhere between B and B+

I think you can listen to it at Taste of Country, but I'm not linking to them... sorry.

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3 Up 3 Down: October '12

3 Up

Kacey Musgraves - Merry Go 'Round

This song is EXACTLY what country radio needs right now: an infusion of reality. I don't mean scripted reality, I mean the gritty, hard-working, regret-filled reality that most people actually live. This track reminds me of a lot of Lori McKenna songs, but Kacey definitely has her own voice here, relating the resignation of a life settled for in a small town. Also reminiscent of Miranda Lambert's quieter tunes, but "Merry Go 'Round" is more powerful than anything she's released in a while. It's getting some early buzz and adds at radio - let's just hope the powers that be don't wuss out and let this great song go the way of other recent downers.

A

Gary Allan - Every Storm (Runs Out of Rain)

This song isn't particularly country sounding, but at least it gets away from the angry-sounding rock of Allan's recent work. His voice is given room to shine and shine it does, bringing back the falsetto and the feeling of some of his early work. Even if it's no "Smoke Rings in the Dark," it's comforting to have Gary Allan back on the radio, sounding as great as ever.

B+

Eric Church - Creepin'

Swampy, atmospheric and just weird, as country radio goes, "Creepin'" is a song that only someone with Church's track record could release to country radio with a straight face (okay, anybody not named Borchetta). Though the instrumentation is pretty rocked-out, the imagery and Eric's voice are undeniably country. If country music MUST stray from its roots further and further each year, this is an okay direction for it to go. "Creepin'" is well-written, strongly performed and 180° from everything else in the top 40.

A-

3 Down

Florida-Georgia Line - Cruise

See if any of this sounds new and unique to you: "Chevy with a lift kit," "farm town," "down a back road," "bikini top," "long tanned legs" …anything? Bueller? Throw in some auto-tune, poor grammar ("baby, you a song") and the fact that this song fits right into the Aldean/Bryan/Gilbert trend and you've got another band FTM's going to hate on for the foreseeable future. And I'll even admit the chorus is catchy as hell - almost guilty pleasure catchy - but all the negatives just take it too far in the wrong direction.

D+

Brantley Gilbert - Kick It In the Sticks

See if any of THIS sounds new and unique to you: "barbed wire, moonshine, whiskey" (yes, that's in ONE line), "bon fire," "Skynyrd and George Strait," "bikini tops and Daisy Duke denim," "skinny dippin'" ….anything? Didn't think so. Is this a Farce the Music parody lyric? Nope. Also, in case you haven't heard this, it's basically a metal song. Seriously. It's way heavier than Jason Aldean's "She's Country," which was basically an AC/DC castoff. And BG and Scott Borchetta have the audacity to release this to country radio? Give me a break and stop it with the motherf**king son of a b*tch ass crap sh*t damn f**k c*** d**k $#%^ trucks.

F

Chris Cagle - Let There Be Cowgirls

Yet another rock song, but at least there are some fiddles and whatnot to keep it a little country. George Strait already did this one so much better with "How Bout Them Cowgirls." "World" and "cowgirls" are rhymed here, what else do you need to know? Cliché as you imagine. There's nothing at all in this song to distinguish it, unless you count the hair-metalesque guitar solo. Cagle came back onto the scene with a country listing song, now he's trying to keep his foot in the door with a female-empowerment anthem that really has nothing to say. Cagle was never an A-lister, but he used to be so much better than this.

F

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