Every #1 Country Song of the 2000s: 2004

2004

February 7: "Remember When" by Alan Jackson

I don't know why, but Alan tends to hit hardest for me when he's being romantic. "Song for the Life" and "I'll Go On Loving You" are among my favorites of his, and so is this one. Maybe it's because I know about his temporary separation from long-time wife Denise, which is the kind of personal detail these songs often lack. Maybe it's just how naturally flowing the progress of this song is, from first meeting to various life changes to children to advancing age. Maybe it's the tender melody, with plenty of mandolin and just enough string section to sound lush without being bombastic -- not to mention the way the instrumental drops into a lower key before the last chorus raises it back up. Maybe it's the sense of finality with that last line "We won't be sad, we'll be glad / For all the life we had / And we'll remember when." All of these ingredients combine to make a country wedding standard that rivals "Look at Us" in how heartfelt and beautiful it is, touching even a heart as un-romantic as mine. A+

February 21: "American Soldier" by Toby Keith

I remember when this first came out, my immediate dismissal of it was "oh, he's just trying to placate those of us who didn't like 'Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue'." But then I heard Toby discuss the song on Bob Kingsley's Country Top 40, and he pointed out something I didn't notice the first time around. He doesn't actually get into the soldier stuff until the chorus. That whole first verse is just your standard family man, doing the best he can, working tirelessly... but it's not until the chorus that we find out it's because he's a soldier. He doesn't even add a verse after that; he just lets the twist stand on its own. Maybe the production is a little bombastic and on the nose (such as the bells), and maybe the lines about the soldier's duties aren't the most inspired either. But you know what? He got me with this one. And if he can nail the slow-burn on a patriotic song, then yeah, I'd say this one's all right. B+

March 20: "Watch the Wind Blow By" by Tim McGraw

This has to be the most forgotten of Tim McGraw's #1 hits. But I'd say that's more from being stuck in the shadow of an even bigger hit than anything else. This one has a very easy-going production style full of glassy guitar fills, Hammond organ, and a bit more drums than usual -- even before he starts singing, it just sounds like an easy-going walk with your lover on an autumn day. Sometimes it's okay if a song has low stakes like this; it's refreshing to just take in the everyday and enjoy the beauty of nature. I like that there's still some emotional investment in lines like "All your troubles and your sorrows, they won't last" to give the song a little more weight. It's a shame the wind blew this one away so quickly, because I think it's one of his most overlooked gems. A

April 3: "When the Sun Goes Down" by Kenny Chesney

feat. Uncle Kracker

Literally the only problem I have with this song is that it has Uncle Kracker on it. Oh well, it could be worse; it could've been Kid Rock. This one isn't trying to be anything more than a party-hearty sing-along, and on that front it succeeds. It's got an energy to its production, and the sonic surroundings make Uncle Kracker sound way less white-trash than usual. I also think it's interesting that it's one of the few #1 hits in this stretch to have only one writer. And "everything gets hotter when the sun goes down" is a hell of a hook. Maybe it's a bit of a letdown that something this lightweight fell between much meatier songs, but I can't fault him for wanting to have a little fun in between. B

May 8: "You'll Think of Me" by Keith Urban

While this one isn't as guitar-heavy, it's still a beautiful, evocative, calm look at a relationship that isn't working out. I like that it starts out with him driving around to clear his head, and even works in a "you'll regret it" to his ex. He walks an emotional tightrope between introspective and bitter, never sounding too light or too harsh. Lines like "I guess I'm getting just a little tired of this / And all the baggage that seems to still exist" and "take your cat but leave my sweater" -- the latter line being one I see singled out the most in talks about this song -- reveal a high level of detail. There is an incredible amount of emotion in every note of this, and it perfectly threads every single one. This is probably the most dramatic nuance crammed into a single song since "All These Years," and it's one of the most vivid takes on a breakup in the entire genre. A+

May 22: "Mayberry" by Rascal Flatts

Usually, it bothers me when people pine for a sanitized, Norman Rockwell-esque picture of "the good ol' days" when they're far too young to remember such a time. But this one goes out of its way to establish that the image longed for is a fictional one -- the setting of The Andy Griffith Show, for those of you not in the loop -- and that makes it go down easier. While lines like "Sunday was a day of rest / Now it's one more day for progress" come dangerously close to setting off my "OK, boomer" alarms, the desire to get away from it all is instantly relatable enough to pull it back. I also like that the image fades away at the end, driving home that this song's message is not a lecture, just escapism. It helps that Rascal Flatts were still pretty laid-back at this point, enhancing the "get away from it all" feel. B+

May 29: "Redneck Woman" by Gretchen Wilson

Gretchen Wilson offered an enjoyable amount of grit right out of the gate. She prefers beer to champagne and she'd rather shop at Walmart than Victoria's Secret. She listens to Tanya Tucker and Lynyrd Skynyrd. This just sounds like the kind of people I know and have associated with, and I like that -- unlike most other songs of this sort -- she goes out of her way to explain why she's proud to be what Jeff Foxworthy once defined as a "glorious absence of sophistication." And for a novelty song -- especially one with the MuzikMafia's fingerprints all over it -- that's a surprising amount of nuance. The melody is anthemic, and Gretchen's rough, slightly off-pitch delivery works with the material instead of against it. Sure, she immediately went cartoonishly over-the-top with "Here for the Party" and "All Jacked Up," and her ballads almost entirely rang false. So maybe in the end, there wasn't much more to her than this. But what there was in this song is so damn different, relatable, and self-aware that I can't help but like it. B+

July 3: "If You Ever Stop Loving Me" by Montgomery Gentry

I'm surprised it took Montgomery Gentry so long to get a #1 hit, because it certainly wasn't an issue of quality. I could waste this entire review listing off all the songs of theirs I didn't get to rave about. Of course, that doesn't mean this one's unworthy. Right out of the gate we get one of the catchiest acoustic guitar riffs of the decade. The opening lines lay out that this is a tough man who withstood parental abuse and street fights to make him tough -- but just before you think it's going to be a machismo anthem, he drops this winner of a line: "Only God knows where I'd be / If you ever stop loving me." The late Troy Gentry has the right amount of swagger, playfulness, and grit to make the song hit just right, and the production's on point with its heavy bass, banjo, and even a turntable scratch. This was more than worthy of finally getting them to the top. A

July 10: "Whiskey Girl" by Toby Keith

I think the guitar tone alone raises this a notch or two for me. Other than that, there's not really a lot of flavor here. It's a standard "man, my girl is hot" lyric without a real hook. While "beer just makes her turn up her nose" is kind of a cute image and "but I like 'em rough" does stick out a bit for an intentional break in the rhyme scheme, everything else is extremely by-the-numbers. Thankfully, it doesn't feel nearly as creepy as Travis Tritt's "The Girl's Gone Wild," but that's about all I can say in its favor. This is just filler, and that's not usually a term I can use to describe a Toby Keith song, good or bad. C

July 17: "Live Like You Were Dying" by Tim McGraw

Given my historic dislike of motivational mega-hits, you'd probably think I'd hate this one too. But unlike most, this one actually has a narrative instead of succumbing to sound-bites. It tells of a man who, faced with an unfavorable health diagnosis, gets (in Rick Trevino's words) a real bad case of carpe diem and goes off doing all the things he's previously denied himself. It's an uplifting message that I can't really fault, and I don't think the execution is terrible here, either. (It helps that a friend actually did have a cancer scare when I wrote this.) I may question how good of an idea it is to do such strenuous activities as skydiving when faced with a life-threatening illness. I may question why we needed to know the name of the bull he rides. I may question the odd scansion of "gave forgiveness I'd been denyin'." And I may question how much of that long note at the end was done without studio trickery, while also thinking the song gets just a tad bombastic at the end regardless. But at the end of the day, this one is just too likable and relatable for me to really get bothered by it. B+

April 7: "Somebody" by Reba McEntire

This is a bit of a different song for her, but it works. I like the acoustic guitar and Dobro intro, which give Reba a slightly different sonic palette. The narrative is believable, too: the guy's in a bad relationship he wants to get out of , and a waitress offers the solution: "somebody in the next car / Somebody on the morning train / Somebody in the coffee shop that you walk right by every day." After a failed attempt with someone else at his apartment complex, who does he end up falling in love with? You guessed it, the waitress. If you can see that ending coming, then chalk it up to Reba's warm, casual tone -- easily leagues above the plastic read of Mark Wills's original -- to get you there. I could totally believe this happening, and that's ultimately what makes it work. Reba didn't have her eyes on the charts for most of this decade, but I'm glad she got to the top again with a song strong enough to make me forgive the blatant chart manipulation scheme it took to get her there. A

September 11: "Girls Lie Too" by Terri Clark

Battle of the sexes humor was already played out at the time. I've heard literally every joke in this song a billion times by hack comedians, and Terri adds absolutely nothing new to the proceedings -- other than a really weak-willed attempt at subversion in the title. But said attempt is little more than a half-baked "NOT!" joke from Wayne's World, which also was tremendously played out long before 2004. Oh, you "like Hooters for their hot wings too"? Never heard that one before. "Size don't matter anyway"? TMI, Terri. I don't think I've heard so many jokes bomb so hard since the last time I scrolled through my own Twitter feed. And Terri's oddly square-jaw delivery doesn't really help matters either. This one also got to #1 entirely through a chart manipulation scheme (to the point Billboard re-factored the chart entirely to stop it from happening again), but unlike "Somebody" it's just an inexcusably bad song. F

September 18: "Days Go By" by Keith Urban

I love everything about this song. All of the lyrics tie into a fast car on the freeway in some fashion, with some real gems like comparing the speed to holding your hand out the window -- an image memorable enough for me to forgive the chorus for rhyming "by" with "by." It's this unusual mix of urgency and introspection, of living in the moment because they all go by so fast, that makes this song so compelling. And that mix is even reflected in the instrumentation, which pits Keith's guitar wizardry against some well-placed mandolin on that hard-driving chorus, then calms down for a more relaxed bridge and acoustic reprise of the chorus before kicking back into full gear. Literally everything on this track works, and it's songs like this that make me realize why I grew to like him so much in this era. A

October 16: "Suds in the Bucket" by Sara Evans

Teenage love can make for some really great songs. I just love the down-home image of the girl running off to Las Vegas (a detail saved until the last verse) without even finishing the laundry -- which itself is done the old-fashioned way, in a washtub and all. I also love the added detail of their elopement spreading through the small-town rumor mill. Even the beauticians and preachers are in on this one! This song is cute, charming, and retro without ever sounding forced or anachronistic. And it's helped by Sara's distinctive twang and the equally twangy production -- lots of baritone guitar, steel, fiddle, and banjo in the mix here. The melody is way above the norm too, with a few dips in and out of Mixolydian mode. This is an absolute charmer on all accounts. A

October 23: "I Hate Everything" by George Strait

No, this isn't about the British YouTuber who reviews bad movies. It's a left-of-center story song between two men at a bar. The one of the two who isn't the narrator is bitter to the point of nihilism, drinking and going on about all the things he "hates" now that he's divorced. Instead of trying to offer advice, the narrator just lets the guy ramble. (I love the line "If it weren't for my two kids, I'd hate my ex-wife.") At the end, we find out the narrator was in a rough relationship himself, and was inspired to patch things up because of the other guy, whose drinks he even pays for. (I also find it interesting that by 2004, we were already casually writing cell phones into country songs.) It's an inspired yet relatable character sketch with a great twist ending -- just the kind of thing that makes for a great country song, especially one sung by King George. A

November 6: "In a Real Love" by Phil Vassar

After a long gap, Phil Vassar finally returns to the top. This is probably his best set of lyrics since his debut album, showing his knack for uncommon vernacular. It's an everyman sketch of a struggling man and woman -- the well-worn "we don't have much, but we have each other" trope. Like most of his debut album and the songs he wrote before he made it big, it shines through uncommon vernacular ("spendin' dollars and makin' dimes"), along with plenty of other uncommon terms, such as it being probably the only song to specifically call a pregnancy test an EPT. The arrangement is also a tad grittier than usual, something I remember many reviewers commenting on during this album cycle, and something that enhances the personality of this track. While he hung around for quite a while afterward, it's a shame he almost never returned to this level of quality. A-

November 20: "Mr. Mom" by Lonestar

It says something about the decline of Lonestar when their first #1 name-dropped the KKK and their last name-dropped Barney. (Although if someone name-dropped Bluey in a modern song, I doubt I'd complain.) The mom has just taken up a job, so it's now the father's turn to run the house, and of course he fails miserably. It's the same stock trope you've seen in a billion sitcoms, and like "30 minutes or its free" pizza delivery or "they're going to build a mall," it stuck around as a stock sitcom plot long after real-life situations (namely, the fact that even in 2004, nearly every two-parent household had both parents working) made it obsolete. Richie gives a cloying, over-the-top vocal read, and the production is way too clean even by Dann Huff's standards. I will say that the final verse's overt admiration for the woman in this scenario is a mark in this song's favor, but by then it's too little, too late. Go listen to Cledus T. Judd's "Where's Your Mommy?" instead if you want this played for self-deprecation instead of pandering. C-

December 4: "Nothing On but the Radio" by Gary Allan

The best of Gary Allan's #1 hits by far. Admittedly, with how bad "Man to Man" and "Tough Little Boys" were, that's a low bar to clear, but Gary went for something a little different here and nailed it. While the hook isn't the most original thing -- I remember an obscure hit from 1982 by the Younger Brothers with a slightly different arrangement of words in the title -- this one has a lot going for it. That guitar riff is catchy as hell, and Gary sounds like he's having fun singing it. Maybe the individual lyrics aren't the most inspired -- fire/higher/desire rhymes and all -- but this song's just too likable for me to let that bring me down much. Being lighthearted yet sensual is a tough needle to thread, and I'd say this one did the trick. B+

December 18: "Back When" by Tim McGraw

A lot of Tim's songs had a somewhat progressive edge to them, so it's jarring to hear him suddenly become this preachy and retrograde. He longs for the "old and outdated way of life" and then makes borderline tasteless jokes about words like "ho," "coke," "crack," and "screw" (fun fact: did you know the use of "screw" as a euphemism for sex dates to 1725?). I especially have to call into question the utter hypocrisy of him calling out "pop in my country" in the same year he cut a duet with Nelly and had one of the biggest country crossover hits. And unlike "Mayberry," there's no sense of escapism. Thankfully, this isn't nearly as problematic (or hypocritical) as, say, Miranda Lambert calling for female subservience and shunning divorce in "Automatic." It is, however, still whiny and played-out pandering with a side of "get off my lawn!" D

December 25: "Some Beach" by Blake Shelton

Joke songs can overstay their welcomes if the joke doesn't land, but thankfully this one does. The way "some beach" sounds like "som'bitch" is clever and just edgy enough to work without having a Helluva Boss-esque "we have to swear in every sentence because that's what adults do" energy. All the situations that come up are realistic ones that tie into each other -- driving down the road to the dentist's office, only to spend too long waiting and then have a mishap in the dentist's chair -- showing a sense of continuity that puts this head and shoulders above most joke songs. Blake's delivery is cool, the production is cool, and I still laugh the thousandth time I hear it. What's not to love? A-

Every #1 Country Song of the 2000s: 2003

2003

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January 11: "19 Somethin'" by Mark Wills

I was only two years old when the '80s ended, but the pop culture touchstones from the years before still lingered. I remember struggling to solve a Rubik's Cube, the local buffet had a Pac-Man cabinet, and a kid in the third grade once brought in a Stretch Armstrong for show and tell. So on the surface, I don't entirely hate this song's concept. What does rub me the wrong way is how there's really no narrative; it's just this Ready Player One-esque string of nostalgia-bait without much else going for it, so that those around the same age as the singer can say "Oh yeah, I remember that." When you compare it to the Pac-Man reference in Brad Paisley's "Welcome to the Future," it's clear the latter actually has something deeper to say about the game than just "it existed." (It's actually kind of crazy to think that a modern-day rewrite of "19 Somethin'" would probably be name-dropping Survivor, Grand Theft Auto, and Nickelback. Was it really all that long ago?) As it stands, it's just a listicle with an okay vocal performance and a really annoying guitar intro. C-

February 22: "The Baby" by Blake Shelton

This one could have been released a decade prior with no changes whatsoever and fit right in. It's a three-act song that you just know is going to end in a death, but it's helped along by a natural charisma and vivid storytelling. I like that it spends more time in the first verse setting the scene, so we know who the narrator and his family are. And who can't agree with a mother's love as expressed in the line "I don't care if you're 80, you'll always be my baby"? It's never bombastic or corny, and it feels credible even if you see the ending coming -- especially in how it breaks song structure to drive home the mom's death. This song almost single-handedly sees Harley Allen making up for all the sins of "The Little Girl" while also making me long for a time when Blake Shelton was actually good. Or in less snarky tones, it's just damn good country. A

March 15: "Man to Man" by Gary Allan

I've seen this song argued as the narrator putting his girlfriend's ex in his place by calling out his toxic masculinity. But to me, it's just angry, bitter virtue signaling. Concept-wise, I can't fault a guy who's willing to say "Hey, you treated this woman badly," but the execution misses pretty hard for me. Lines like "if not for me, she'd still be yours today / We're both men here, so why play games?" reek of superiority, especially in the snarling, nasal way Gary delivers them. (To be fair, I do genuinely like "She's a real woman, not a doormat for you.") When both parties in the conversation feel like they're posturing -- the other guy through his machismo, the narrator through his sense of superiority -- then the question is less "who cheated who" and more "why should I root for either one of you in this dick-waving contest?" If you want to hear this premise done right, check out Vince Gill's "Cinderella" instead. C-

March 22: "Travelin' Soldier" by The Chicks

I barely remember this song when it was on the charts, but one night in 2005 I heard it on the radio and it just destroyed me in the best way. The narrative seems simple enough: boy meets girl, boy goes off to war, boy doesn't come back. But every detail is crystal-clear, from their age, their locations, their personalities; it even works in the word "piccolo." The delivery is relaxed but never devoid of emotion, and the instrumentation is subtle but never dry. I especially love how it fades out on a fiddle and drum cadence. I love how sudden the soldier's death is, making it hit all the harder -- as I said previously, "just moments before these two had found a cure for loneliness, it's ripped away from both of them." The themes no doubt resonated in the throes of the Iraq War; sadly, opinions of that same war were more dominated by polemic vitriol that caused this song to free-fall from the charts and still haunts the Chicks two decades later. Thankfully, this song is so emotionally strong that I think it more than stands on its own as not just my favorite Chicks song, but one of my favorite songs of all time. A+

March 29: "Brokenheartsville" by Joe Nichols

"He wore that cowboy hat to cover up his horns" is a home run from the first line. This is a sharp, vivid, lyrically intriguing look at a man who's watching his ex leave with someone else and just laying into him. "Here's to the past, they can kiss my glass / I hope she's happy with him" is just delightfully savage, kept from outright cruelty by Joe Nichols' cool, laid-back delivery in contrast with the literal demonization of the guy who took her away. The melody goes down smoothly as well, what with its unusual chord changes and the neo-trad production. I actually bought Joe Nichols' little-known 1996 debut album at a dollar store long before he broke through, and while "The Impossible" was a grower for me, I was delighted to see this song become an instant hit. If you've got time to kill, whether in Brokenheartsville or otherwise, put this one on. You won't be let down. A+

April 5: "Have You Forgotten?" by Darryl Worley

"Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue" may have been awful, but at least it didn't espouse conspiracy theories, whataboutism, and outright making stuff up. That it's so angrily pro-war is actually the least of this song's concerns. I admit I don't know everything, but as far as I can tell, there was no link between Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden, and to imply otherwise is conspiratorial. But of course, saying so riles up the hate-mongering hawks so he's going to pander for all it's worth. Naturally, the right-wing tactic of blaming made-up nonsense on "they" is present, what with the claim that "they took all the footage off my TV." I'm sorry, what? I saw 9/11 and the Iraq War on the news all the goddamn time. People won Pulitzers for covering 9/11. And what's with this whole "have you forgotten" nonsense? No, I haven't forgotten about 9/11. That was one of the most sobering moments of my life, and I was 14 when it happened. Where the fuck are you going with this, Darryl? And of course, this whole mess came only a month after the Chicks got booted off country radio for extremely stupid reasons that still get them flak over two decades later. And it sucks that this same year we got the infinitely better "It Can All Be Gone" by Jamie Lee Thurston, who comes right out and says "Got no time for jealousy, got no time for greed [...] 'cause I believe that God is in the soul of every man" -- a song which withered and died within a week. Even Darryl himself got it right much later with "I Just Came Back from a War," where he dropped the whole "America, fuck yeah" shtick to calmly and sympathetically recount the horrors of PTSD. This monstrosity is hands down the worst song of the entire decade, as far as I'm concerned. F

May 24: "Three Wooden Crosses" by Randy Travis

To me, the most moving religious songs are those that do not paint a perfect picture. Here, we have four people who are involved in a bus wreck -- a farmer, teacher, hooker, and preacher. Who do you guess survives the crash? No, not the preacher. It's the hooker, who is given a Bible by the preacher before his death. A Bible that she ends up reading to her son, who is now a pastor himself. A more cynical read might consider this contrived, and might also question the scansion of "It's not what you take when you leave this world behind you / It's what you leave behind you when you go," but I'm not here for that. I'm here to praise this song for choosing to redeem an unlikely figure instead of pumping up the one who's already redeemed. I'm here to praise Randy's laid-back, smooth delivery. I'm here to praise a genuinely clever twist ending. But most of all, I'm here to praise the fact that a song this inspired managed to avoid every trope that usually drags down inspirational music for me and simultaneously be a late-career hit. A

May 31: "I Believe" by Diamond Rio

And we go from a genuinely good Christian song to one about... believing in ghosts? Sure, I'll allow it. The piano-heavy production is haunting and ethereal, as you'd expect, but the twangy harmony reminds you that it's still Diamond Rio. It doesn't matter how long the time span is -- you lose a loved one, you still feel their presence. I've felt that way about my dad and grandma, both of whom died a decade ago. I'm sure my mom feels that way about her dad, who died in the 70s. Is there a Heaven? Are spirits real? What happens after you die? It's hard to say, but it's comforting to attach yourself to any interpretation of someone who's no longer alive still having some kind of tangible (or intangible) presence in your life. While I still think "You're Gone" is slightly better by going for the gut-punching devastation of loss, the perception of this as a sequel song makes it just as compelling. A

June 14: "Beer for My Horses" by Toby Keith feat. Willie Nelson

When "Try That in a Small Town" came out, I rememeber seeing discussions about this song and its call for vigilantism. And sure enough, the first verse does sing about lynching criminals. But while "Try That in a Small Town" clearly had its eyes set on the modern day, this one is so obviously a period piece what with its imagery of saloons and shootouts. Is it problematic to frame something like that in a positive light, even if there's zero implication of projecting it through a modern lens? I mean, it could be, but I don't know. There's something about Toby's delivery here that isn't as blustery as it could have been, and he does have genuinely strong chemistry with Willie Nelson here. Even with some of Toby's more problematic views, this one just never got under my skin. But if it did to you, then I can absolutely understand why. B

July 26: "My Front Porch Looking In" by Lonestar

The words "sippy cup" should not be in a song ever. It's a shame, because the hook is actually pretty clever. The view out his front door is picturesque, but it won't beat the scene of a happy loving family. While the production isn't bloated beyond belief as it was on "I'm Already There," Richie McDonald still employs a cloying, saccharine vocal delivery that makes lines about sunsets looking like paintings seem far more Hallmark Channel than they need to be. The sentiment is perfectly fine; it's just the execution that's off here. They were fully into soccer mom-pandering territory by this point, and while far from the worst on that front, it's still not as cringe as "Six Foot Teddy Bear." If you want this sentiment done right, check out Donovan Chapman's "House Like That" instead. And while you're at it, also put on Lonestar's stellar cover of "Walking in Memphis," by far the highlight of otherwise a pretty rough patch for them. C-

August 2: "Red Dirt Road" by Brooks & Dunn

A single road can have so many memories attached to it. The electric guitar/mandolin interplay manages to be wonderfully evocative before Ronnie's trademark voice even gets started. And what a set of lyrics we get: walking to church, meeting your first love picking blackberries, having your first beer, wrecking your car, and just enjoying life ("happiness on Earth ain't just for high achievers" is a fantastic touch here). I can picture every single thing here being something that really did happen, not just to someone Ronnie's age but for the young, the old, and almost anyone who is at either end of that red dirt road. I also love how the song wraps up by him going back to the road, finding it to be like a friend -- that's exactly how I feel when I go back to nostalgic places I haven't visited in decades. Much like "Only in America," this one paints an imperfect yet uplifting picture of the human condition, easily making it not just one of B&D's best, but also one of the best of this entire decade. A+

August 9: "It's Five O'Clock Somewhere" by Alan Jackson feat. Jimmy Buffett

Isn't this just "Ten Rounds with Jose Cuervo" with different words? Oh well, at least this is a lot looser than AJ usually got. And that's probably about the only thing I can say in its favor, because this one quickly reached "Margaritaville" levels of "over-exposed vaguely Caribbean-sounding party song involving Jimmy Buffett that's become a commercial empire despite actually being kind of a downer." Sure, it's cute and lighthearted enough the first time, until you realize the guy's actually kinda miserable. And that's not how time works -- if it's "half past twelve," then even if you factor in the time zones that are offset by a half-hour, there aren't any where it'd be 5 PM. (Unless I botched the math, which is likely.) Who knows; maybe it's just the incessant over-play talking. But all I know is I need a drink whenever this song comes on, and it's not for the reasons the song intends. C

September 27: "What Was I Thinkin'" by Dierks Bentley

This song brings unrelenting grit right out of the gate, what with that Dobro interplay, almost Dorian mode melody, and a breakneck story about running off with a hot girl. "Becky was a beauty from south Alabama / Her daddy had a heart like a nine-pound hammer / Think he even did a little time in the slammer / What was I thinkin'?" tells you so much right away. The "father doesn't like the guy his girl's dating" trope is so well worn, but the song's focus on the running away and the narrator's unclear state of mind -- because that girl is just so attractive, after all -- put a fresh new perspective on it. Lyrical quirks like "half past too late" and a pursuit by the police add even more color. This song is infectiously catchy, fun, and messy in all the right ways, and overall, it's a four-minute burst of pure energy. This is still one of the best debut singles in the genre, in my book. A+

October 11: "Real Good Man" by Tim McGraw

This one has a hell of a groove and a silly premise -- "I may be a real bad boy / But baby, I'm a real good man" -- that somehow manages to work. I like that he calls out how her peers might reject him because of his rough exterior, and I like that a tough macho man is willing to come right out and say he's got a heart of gold. As much as our culture has hyped up manly men doing manly things, sometimes the facade needs to slip a little, and Tim gets that. I think he's a bit too mannered to really make the outer toughness sizzle, and the one flag-waving line could've been snipped out, but ultimately, there's really nothing wrong with this one. B

October 25: "Tough Little Boys" by Gary Allan

With what I just said about subverting masculinity, you'd think I'd dig this one too, right? Unfortunately, not so much. Just like "Man to Man," I can't knock this on concept alone. The central image of a macho type letting it slip when he becomes a father is admirable, and Gary is no stranger to male vulnerability. It's just the execution here that drags things down. Harley Allen has a sentimentality that can work, as "The Baby" showed; however, he did miss as often as he hit, and this one's a miss. The over-the-top reaction to his child -- he's scared of her first steps -- is laughable, and it's kind of creepy that he'd follow her school bus on the first day of school. Even his delivery has an unnatural fake softness to it that reminds me of Chuck Wicks, not helped by the excessively stringy bombastic production style. I will say this: at least it's not as ear-splittingly bloated as Lonestar's material around this point, nor as crassly manipulative and unbelievable as "The Little Girl." It's still a sappy take on an idea that should have worked, which just makes its mishandling sting all the harder for me. C-

November 8: "Who Wouldn't Wanna Be Me" by Keith Urban

This one starts off with a great opening line: "I got no money in my pockets / I got a hole in my jeans / I had a job and I lost it / But it won't get to me." And it also introduces a lot of themes that would dominate Keith's up-tempos for a while: sunshine, cars, and music. I like all the images here, such as his lover being the one who's playing guitar for once (presumably so he can focus on the ganjo that's driving the groove here?). It's hard to shake the perception of this being maybe a little too similar sonically to "Somebody Like You," but I'd say ultimately he changed enough for it not to feel redundant, either. And seriously, what's wrong with doubling down on the happiness? A-

November 15: "I Love This Bar" by Toby Keith

I've seen this described as the exact moment Toby Keith went from a singer to a product, thanks in no small part to his ill-fated restaurant chain taking on the name of this song. But entirely on its own merits, I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with it. Sure, it's a list song, and it's kind of lacking in tonal variety (which is somewhat remedied by the longer album version). But the things it does list are all kinds of people from all walks of life. I think he did the concept slightly better in the more sing-along-friendly "Drunk Americans," but at this point in his career, even the slightest nod toward inclusivity is something I'll accept from him. B

December 20: "There Goes My Life" by Kenny Chesney

Kenny Chesney had a fantastic run once he found that mix of melancholic introspection and laid-back beach-bumming. While this one doesn't hit quite as hard as the downright devastating take on Bill Anderson's "A Lot of Things Different," it's more than commendable as finding positivity in what can originally be seen as a negative. The narrator feels his life is shot because his girlfriend is pregnant, only to find out how much he enjoys having a child, and how emotional he gets when she leaves. It's a simple but instantly relatable story, and I love how it cleverly re-works the title phrase each time (a common country trope in the '90s that wasn't used nearly as much in this era). Little details like the daughter driving off with Abercrombie & Fitch clothing in her car add a more modern touch, and the production is warm and sympathetic. A