Sent in by Bobby Peacock
Nov 17, 2020
May 8, 2020
A poop emoji is negative. A strike-thru is positive.
The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (6) overall which is a 25(!!) point improvement from December (the previous time we did this chart). I wouldn’t say the country chart is more country these days, but the quality has improved by leaps and bounds. There’s more depth. There are more women. The worst song is Florida-Georgia Line’s “I Love My Country.” The best song is Maddie & Tae’s “Die From a Broken Heart,” which has been on the charts for …ever, it seems.
Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.
Mar 11, 2020
Carly Pearce & Lee Brice “Hope You’re Happy Now”
No snap beats, no slang, real instruments. Lee and Carly’s hit is a pop-country duet full of heartache and harmonies. Their voices sound great together. It’s one of those sad songs that makes you feel good. Well done.
Midland “Cheatin’ Songs”
We’re over their back story now - you either like their music or don’t. I do. This is a slice of 70s Bellamy Bros-esque goodness with steel guitar and modern slickness. The low key harmonies create just the right mood and there’s even a little self-awareness mixed into the lyrics. Midland is consistently one of the best mainstream artists out there and “Cheatin’ Songs” is another gem.
Ingrid Andress “More Hearts Than Mine”
Ain’t a whole lot country about this, but it’s a well-written and gets a lot more personal than most radio fare, bringing a fairly unique angle to relationship tunes. Andress’ delivery occasional veers toward that indie-pop style I hate so much, but never quite goes there and her conversational tone works well for the subject matter. Glad to see this song hit the top 10.
Jordan Davis “Slow Dance in a Parking Lot”
Standard issue dude pop-country, typical mid-tempo blah-ness, electronically affected vocals. This is pure boyfriend country. At least bro-country was loud and proud with its crappiness. This is dull and forgettable just like Jordan Davis would be without the beard.
Locash “One Big Country Song”
At least it doesn’t have snap beats? That’s a positive I suppose. Locash doesn’t sound particularly inspired …ever… but particularly on this anthem about the shared experiences and values of country fans. “Everybody knows the words to ‘Mama Tried’” is an actual lyric of this song and I guarantee you that 80%+ of Locash fans do not in fact know those words. Honestly, there are several songs much worse than this in the top 40 right now - I was just trying to avoid the usual suspects - but this is nothing you haven’t heard before.
Chase Rice “Lonely if You Are”
Snap beats, typical bouncy R&B lite delivery. This is pretty much a Sam Hunt rip-off without Sam’s lyrical ability and likability (and I don’t care for any Sam Hunt songs, so that’s pretty rough). It’s a booty call song that somehow comes off both sleazy and sleepy. There are a few early Chase Rice songs that show some promise, before he was asking fine ass girls to slide on over or whatever, so one would hope he’d eventually dig a little deeper in his subject matter, but nah. Once a bro, always a bro.
Jun 14, 2019
by Travis Erwin
Those of us who enjoy the humor, scorn, and reviews here at Farce The Music can often be found up on our soapbox railing against the insipidness of mainstream country. But how bad is it?
I decided to take a look with a dive into the current Billboard Hot Country Chart.
One by one I listened to the tunes and here is my no-holds barred assessment starting at the bottom and working my way up per their rankings. They list 50, but I limited my exposure to only the top 25 because a man can only wade through so much shit before he too starts to stink.
25) The Bones — Maren Morris --- I will give Morris credit for infusing some emotion that feels genuine … which makes this an above average pop song
24) What Happens In A Small Town — Brantley Gilbert with Lindsay Ell --- I actually enjoyed Lindsay Ell’s voice here, but per usual, Gilbert confuses vocal strain with emotion. If you enjoy predictable lyrics, sang with constipation, then Gilbert is routinely your man.
23) What If I Never Get Over You – Lady Antebellum --- If you have a damn good pair of binoculars, you can see the country from here on the island of Adult Contemporary Radio.
22) I Don’t Know About You — Chris Lane --- Basically a Bro Country Tinder conversation. Do yourself a favor and swipe left.
21) Notice — Thomas Rhett --- Watch out Jonas Brothers and Shawn Mendes you have competition for your sing-song style of pop.
20) Every Little Honky Tonk Bar — George Strait --- First decent country song and while not many share this opinion, I have long thought Strait to be overrated as an artist. Cool dude for sure, but given he rarely writes his own material and is far from a creative musical genius, I view him more as the world’s best karaoke singer than King of anything. [editor’s note: I’m docking your pay!]
19) The Ones That Didn’t Make It Back Home — Justin Moore --- I applaud the intent, but this is one of those singles that feels more like pandering to an audience than it does a meaningful tribute.
18) Raised On Country — Chris Young --- First few lines contain the words … Southern Drawl, pick-up, and boots. Yes sir, we have a song written using the Country Music Mad Libs method. I confess I didn’t keep listening because I heard enough three lines in.
17) Shut Up About Politics — John Rich --- Rich is from my hometown, but we have both left Amarillo. That comment has no meaning to this list and frankly this song has no lasting meaning either. File this one under disposable, just like the proverbial red cup mentioned in this pandering set of lyrics.
16) Rearview Town — Jason Aldean --- I have never been an Aldean fan and this song does not change that but all-in-all this isn’t a horrible single. Written by Nashville stalwarts Kelley Lovelace, Bobby Pinson, and Neil Thrasher this is about as good as big label/corporate-driven songwriting gets.
15) Talk You Out of It — Florida Georgia Line --- I have heard way worse FGL songs so if your girl has poor musical taste go ahead put this one and try to seduce her. But if it works, she ain’t the one.
14) Some Of It — Eric Church --- I actually like this single. Written by Jeff Hyde, Clint Daniels and Bobby Pinson who makes a second appearance on the list, Church sounds a little bit like Robert Ellis on this one, and that is a good thing. IT is the best I’ve heard from Church.
13) On My Way To You — Cody Johnson --- Johnson is one of many Strait-influenced artists out of Texas and while I am usually left wanting for more grit and emotions out of his chosen material, he does have talent.
12) All To Myself — Dan + Shay --- This duo is to country music what Bath & Body Works is to the mall. Too clean. Too fragrant. And no place a man goes without being dragged there by his significant other.
11) Knockin’ Boots — Luke Bryan --- Hard to say what is worse, Bryan’s Gomer Pyle laced voice, or this pandering set of horrendous lyrics.
10) Girl — Maren Morris --- Again, I respect Morris’s vocal talent, but I struggle to call this country. I don’t hate this song, but it is mislabeled.
9) Love Someone — Brett Eldridge --- I just wish someone on this list had more heartache, more pain, more grit than they do product in their well-coiffed hair.
8) Speechless — Dan + Shay --- Verne Gosdin has been gone for a decade now but if the man known as “The Voice” was handed this single and told this is a Top Ten Country hit in 2019, he would be the one rendered speechless.
7) Miss Me More — Kelsea Ballerini --- Sounds a little Faith Hill-esque. I will give this one credit for having some rebel spirit. Let’s call it the Taco Bell of country because it has the ingredients of good Mexican food, but the taste isn’t quite there.
6) Good As You — Kane Brown --- Yet another single full of smooth rhythms and touchy-feely sentiments of love. I am not against love but come on guys this shit flows like a string of Hallmark cards and that ain’t true to life.
5) Beer Never Broke My Heart — Luke Combs --- Be careful what you ask for. Finally a broken hearted song and while it is better than most of the songs on this list it isn’t a song a can take all that serious. Combs has a good sound but lyrically this song is a far cry from Whitley or Haggard.
4) Rumor — Lee Brice --- There is much worse on this list but at this point all I am thinking is when can I go back to me regular playlist of Houston Marchman, Dan Johnson, and Tom Russell?
3) Look What God Gave Her — Thomas Rhett --- Musicians used to get laid by being aloof, cool bad ass. Now it seems they are trying to get laid by using Dr. Phil’s Textbook of Emotional Pandering.
2) Whiskey Glasses — Morgan Wallen --- I like Wallen’s vocal tone but the cadence of this song is awful about thirty seconds in. Come on Son, just song the pain don’t try to purty it all up and for all that is hole get rid of all that repetitive line ‘em bullshit on the back end.
1) God’s Country — Blake Shelton --- Over the years, Shelton has put out a handful of songs I actually enjoyed, but this one is nothing more than okay. And with that designation, he joins about that many on this list that aren’t horrible.
There you have it.
My opinion on the current Top 25 Country Songs according to Billboard. A few halfway decent country songs, a few more decent pop songs misnamed, and a bunch of pandering pablum.
I am sure we have a few disagreements, but the beauty of music is such that it hits every set of ears differently. Still I stand by assessment that mainstream country is suffering from a lack of grit and realness.
Tell me what you think, I love a good argument.
TRAVIS ERWIN is an author and music blogger best known for his love of dark beer, red meat, and of course, his comedic memoir, THE FEEDSTORE CHRONICLES. Other published works include the short story collection HEMINGWAY and a pair of novels TWISTED ROADS and WAITING ON THE RIVER. Travis also blogs about music at THE FEELS and with LA on Lock.
Jun 15, 2017
Two of the finest songs of the last decade are I Don’t Dance and I Drive Your Truck. The former has been played on Spotify alone 67m times, the latter a mere 24m times. The voice of Lee Brice, sort of like Tim McGraw’s (in fact a lot like the voice of Tim McGraw), carries both of those songs.
Much like "My Old Man," the new Zac Brown song which does this without programmed drums and synths, this song is another to be found in the sub-genre of Dad/Son-country. It could also be a message to young writers seduced by the headlights of modern country; head to the trunk, where’s there is gold to be found in mining the human condition.
We have a while to wait for the album, self-titled (like Tim McGraw’s first album) and out in November. Tim is on tour this year, still plugging Damn Country Music, which contains "Humble & Kind," a song written by a mum to her kids but sung by Tim, a dad of three.
Musically there are two magical moments in Boy: Lee’s little chuckle in the second verse after the word ‘stubborn,’ and the slide guitar sound before the sombre final chorus which ends on the line ‘run like he’s bulletproof and total a car, too.’ Country must realise that, above other genres, it puts family first, rather than the act of making babies.
"Boy" is thus one of those ‘advice’ songs country music offers (some star or other has just put one out called "Speak to a Girl"). It’s a song from a dad to his son, who will ‘always be my boy’ even if he is genetically programmed to repeat the mistakes of his dad. The middle eight is tender, as the dad feels sorry that his son is off – on his gap year? To NYU? To fight for his country?
Lee is a father-of-two, soon to be a father-of-three, and he must have seized on this song when it was sent to him for consideration. "Boy" was written by Nicolle Galyon (Automatic, It Ain’t Pretty) and Jon Nite (Strip It Down, We Were Us, Think a Little Less). It’s a winner, and an example of what contemporary songwriters in Nashville can do when they step off the tailgate.
After five years of drinking beer, cruising and eating a catfish dinner, country music is hopefully waking up to what Chris Young would call a Sober Saturday Night. If it lasts a few years, so much the better for top quality songs about real things coming out of Music Row and given the confidence to make headway into the charts and people’s playlists.
May 4, 2016
Feb 19, 2015
Feb 18, 2015
Sep 10, 2014
Jul 30, 2014
May 12, 2014
Jan 24, 2014
May 7, 2013
Apr 15, 2013
"I Drive Your Truck" was a bracing, emotional tribute to a fallen soldier that out-kicked its coverage, so to speak, and went to number one on a wave of both critical and popular acclaim.
"Parking Lot Party" is exactly what you think it is - an anthem for getting pre-sauced in the parking lot before a concert. It's a country keyword fest. Redneckism porn.
Trucks are represented:
"Tailgate buzz just a sippin' on suds"
"A little Marshall Tucker on the radio"
"25 tall boys on the chill"
A nod to hip-hop hype men:
"Cause there ain't no party like the pre-party
and after the party is the after-party"
Also, "it's about time to pass that shine around," because what suburban country boy party is complete without a little "moonshine" bought at the grocery store?
It's summer single release season, so none of this is unexpected. It's a disappointment however, coming from Brice, who's proven himself a strong writer who usually steers clear of cliche. I suppose the setting (as opposed to that presumably highly-rutted farmer's pasture all the other parties happen in) makes this a little more unique, but it's really just "same song-different verse."
The fact that the tailgate party never actually proceeds into the concert venue, due to too much fun and possibly financial issues, adds one minor original turn to the story, but really, this is stock Nashville fun. There's even fake crowd noise and a radio station intro (on the album version: I haven't heard the radio mix) to take "PLP" into pure cheese territory.
Thomas Rhett, his dad, and Luke Laird also had a hand in the writing of this tune ...because of course they did.
Let's hope Brice dips back into his well of creativity on the next outing. Nothing to see here.
Feb 6, 2013
George Strait - Give It All We Got Tonight
It's a new song from King George. What else do you need me to say? I'm just happy it's getting airplay and is steadily rising up the charts. Not the best song of his career, far from the worst...but it's George.
Miranda Lambert - Mama's Broken Heart
This is the kind of song that made Miranda famous, but better written. She's taken the "wronged girl dealing with a breakup" theme and infused it with more wit and personality than she was capable of earlier in her career. Comparing a more genteel generation's coping mechanisms to her own wide-open approach, Lambert salvages the weak (for her) single era of her Four the Record album with a gem.
Lee Brice - I Drive Your Truck
The title had me wincing before I ever heard the song. Being the open-minded individual I am (okay, I was hoping to be able to make fun of it), I gave it a shot and was shocked. This isn't the first "drive the vehicle of a departed soldier to honor and remember him" song (Bobby Pinson did it a little better with the Tracy Lawrence cut "If I Don't Make it Back"), but it's full of passion and power. The more hard-hearted among us won't be able to get past the title and the Nashville-sheen, and that's a shame. "I Drive Your Truck" is a strong contender for mainstream country song of the year.
Jason Aldean (w/Luke Bryan and Eric Church) - The Only Way I Know
This is more of a talking-country song than a hick-hop song. That's literally the only thing I can say about the song that isn't negative. It shoots for the top of the charts by offsetting the lack of melody and substance with star power. Luke Bryan's corny flow is the only thing that gives the single any semblance of personality. Eric Church, too cool to rap, phones in his bridge. It's another typical "we're country and this is what we do in the country" song that will be tossed on the scrapheap of unmemorable #1 hits that Nashville churns out like sliced bread these days.
Blake Shelton - Sure Be Cool If You Did
Blake's latest pop-country confection starts with awkward slang (I was gonna keep it real like chill...) then drops off into drudgery and kowtowing to the young female demographic. If this is where "one of those people that gets to decide" where country is going is taking it, I'm not on-board.
The Henningsens - American Beautiful
Oh joy. Another vocal band a'la Gloriana and Lady Antebellum. Because there aren't enough of those. Another country song with "America" or "American" in the title. Because we're suffering from a lack of vaguely patriotic songs about country girls. The other day I was listening to the country station (because my 5 year old wanted to) and apparently this song played right before Gloriana's latest. I thought it was just one really long, boring tune until the DJ said that, in fact, it was two separate songs.
Jul 25, 2012
Zac Brown Band - The Wind
Unfortunately, it seems the band led off this new album's single era with the best song of the bunch. That doesn't do anything to blunt the impact of this thoroughly enjoyable, heart-racing bluegrass pop-country tune. Probably one of the best commercial country songs of the year.
Lee Brice - Hard to Love
I've read people comparing this to a couple of Tom Petty songs, but I don't really hear it. What I hear is an undeniably catchy, honest-sounding modern country song that veers a little too close to adult contemporary at times, but still stands above the fray. It's well-written, decently performed and thankfully free of trucks, cutoffs and beer.
Jerrod Niemann - Shinin' On Me
This is hardly, barely a country song, but it just sounds so damn cool. Niemann's laid-back delivery, left-of-center instrumentation and the crisply askew production makes this winner of a summer song, avoiding nearly all the cliches so common to this season on commercial country radio. Is it the best written song ever? Of 2012? Of this month? Probably no to all of those, but it's darn sure a treat for the ears.
Little Big Town - Pontoon
I hope that's out of their system now. This is a talented band. I'm not sure why they took the easy route to.. oh wait, yeah I do: $$$. These guys have great voices and up to this point have released pretty decent singles. This dunderhead song broke that streak. It's a lockstep summer anthem with nary an original thought and a goofy "motorboatin'" hook to hook the teens and pervs. Not really anything redeeming about this song. Do better, LBT.
Tim McGraw - Truck Yeah
What else can be said, really? I could copy and paste all the synonyms for "feces," but I already did that the time Bucky Covington covered Nickelback. Can you believe this is actually worse than that? It's improbable but true. Also, if Tim continues in this direction, he will easily overtake Luke Bryan and Brantley Gilbert on FTM's shit-list within months. For the love of all things decent and good, Tim, stop this. You're embarrassing yourself.
Blake Shelton - Over
It's not that this is such a horrible song, but it's a mediocre potboiler right at the time Shelton should be delivering massive hits to cement his place as an A-Lister (please shape up Blake! I'd rather have you as an A-Lister than Luke Bryan!). It's a position-holder to keep his brand on the charts and his name in listeners' ears. Blake is at the apex of his fame - shouldn't he use this position to cut and record the best Nashville songwriters have to offer? This is fluff that nobody will remember in… yep, already gone. I honestly can't make this song play in my head even after listening to it for review. It's that forgettable.