Scarface Country Reaction Gifs

When a local DJ announces Justin Moore to the stage

When they play you their favorite country song but it sounds like Three Doors Down with more twang

When Tommy left the bar room, not a Gatlin boy was standing

When you've never made it to the end of Johnny Cash's "Cocaine Blues"

If Jason Aldean fans call it hipster-country, then probably...

Johnny Paycheck, that fateful day

♬

 Play Cherokee fiddle, he'd play it for the whiskey 

♬

The proper reply to every bro-country pickup line

When you tell her the 'country' she's listening to is just southern pop sung by pretty boys

When you lay into ‘em with that Kentucky Thunder 

When your boy is about to hurl a chair off Eric Church's bar at some cops

The Crud Report: Christmas Edition

 

Small Town Country Song Steak Ratings

Elderly Country Songs: Cody Johnson, Reba, Justin Moore, etc.

Jason Aldean

My Back

Big Green Lincoln

Try That in a Rest Home

She’s Lumpy

Cody Johnson

Werther’s In My Pocket

Dear Old Folks Home

I Can’t Even Walk (no change)

Reba

Turn Down the Radio

The Heart’s Awry

What Did You Say

Justin Moore

Kinda Don’t Remember

You, Me, and Cialis

Small Town Buffet

George Jones

I Need Your Rocking Chair

Diabetic Redneck

Walker Through This World With Me

Who’s Gonna Tie My Shoes

The Current Poop of Mainstream Country Radio: May '23

A poop emoji is negative, a strike thru is positive, an asterisk

denotes a song where the good attributes and the bad are dead even.

The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (-6) overall which is a 9 point drop from March (the previous time we did this chart). The best song is Cody Johnson's "Human." The worst is Parmalee's "Girl in Mine" which is somehow worse than Dan + Shay and Tyler Hubbard's current offerings. It's pretty precipitous drop in quality from last time, but we're heading into summer so that's to be expected. It's nice to see Joe Nichols back in the top 20!

Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.

Country TwitterFAIL: March 2021

*some foul language*

(Old tweet but I just found it)

The Current Poop of Mainstream Country Radio: August 2020

A poop emoji is negative. A strike-thru is positive.

The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (-9) overall which is a 15 point drop from May (the previous time we did this chart). Not too surprising, since summer on country radio is for mindless beer truck boyfriend songs. The worst song is Florida-Georgia Line’s “I Love My Country” being slightly worse than Kane Brown’s “Cool Again.” The best song is Maddie & Tae’s “Die From a Broken Heart,” which finally hit number 1 after forever on the chart.

Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.

Nashville Has a Drinking Problem Again

The Current Poop of Mainstream Country Radio: May 2020

A poop emoji is negative. A strike-thru is positive.

The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (6) overall which is a 25(!!) point improvement from December (the previous time we did this chart). I wouldn’t say the country chart is more country these days, but the quality has improved by leaps and bounds. There’s more depth. There are more women. The worst song is Florida-Georgia Line’s “I Love My Country.” The best song is Maddie & Tae’s “Die From a Broken Heart,” which has been on the charts for …ever, it seems.

Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.

The Crud Report: April 2020

Top 10 Worst Country Quarantine House Guests

----------

10. Garth Brooks

Just cries in the corner the whole time.

9. Kacey Musgraves

Smokes up all your weed. 

8. Gary LeVox

In this temporarily ‘nicer’ era of Farce the Music, I will leave this one alone, but you know why he’s here.

7. Martina McBride

High stakes poker games with toilet paper for money. Constantly setting up booby traps and cleaning her AK for when “shit goes down.”

6. Cody Jinks

Won’t stop reminding everyone that The Rock is a big fan. Unfortunately, Ward Davis had to come along too - it’s a package deal.

5. Justin Moore

Constantly needs help reaching stuff in the cabinet and climbing up on the toilet.

4. Mitchell Tenpenny

Your wife won’t come out of the bedroom because “his staring is getting really creepy.” Refuses to wash his hands.

3. Thomas Rhett

Brings over all his kids and their friends, negating the whole social distancing thing. Wants to have Ed Sheeran karaoke contests 24/7.

2. Sam Hunt

Expects you to keep his hair cut and styled for him. Water bill extremely high from washing all his jogger pants. Wants you to be the snap track for him when he’s writing songs. 

1. Shooter Jennings

Eats all your Funyuns. His ‘essential’ luggage is 5 crates of He-Man lunch boxes.

Eats up all the wifi bandwidth playing video games constantly. Conspiracy theories out the wazoo.

Latest Promo Photos: Morgan Wallen, Dan + Shay, Highwomen, etc.

As usual, I can't vouch for the authenticity of these.