Showing posts with label Tyler Hubbard. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tyler Hubbard. Show all posts

Mar 31, 2016

WWE Country Reaction Gifs 7: Jason Isbell, Chase Rice, Jana Kramer, etc.

Wrestlemania 32 is this Sunday, so of course we're having an edition of stupid gifs this week.


When a coworker asks if you know anybody 
who'd want their extra Chase Rice ticket



When somebody passes you "whiskey" 
that turns out to be Fireball



When somebody asks how many studio albums 
Jason Isbell has released



When Jana Kramer's mom hears how bad her new song is



When the Stapleton pre-sale code hits your inbox




When Tyler Hubbard practices his only talent



When your buddies think it'd be fun
to go see Colt Ford just for laughs

Oct 1, 2015

In the Year 2030: Predictions for Luke Bryan, FGL, etc.


Tyler Hubbard, having blown through $156 million earned during his FGL days, 
takes a job more suited for his skills - guessing fair-goers weights and ages

Singers, songwriters, and musicians now pay music fans to listen to their singles and albums

Parmalee still releasing singles from 2013 album

Jason Aldean's fifth wife takes half his remaining estate in their divorce 
(3 Miller Lites, a subscription to hugejugs.xxx, and a faux vintage Skynyrd t-shirt)

Tyler Farr parks his minivan on his ex-wife's lawn and throws empty craft beer bottles at her window

R Kelly still peeing on people, but now because he is unable to control his bladder

Queen Swift of the UN Worldstate Council has all the music bloggers
who used to make fun of her voice beheaded on live television

Brad Paisley now writing goofy-ass songs about Metamucil, 
retirement funds, and erectile dysfunction

Kenny Chesney has trouble visiting the beach with his old blue walker

Keith Richards cuts back to a pack of cigarettes a day

Casey Donahew Band plots reunion tour. 35-50 year old bros
throughout Texas and Oklahoma brush up on fist-pumping skills

Sam Hunt custom orders Hitler-youth-hairstyle toupé

Every single attendee at summer country music festival arrested for something or other

Colt Ford still doesn't have any hits

Luke Bryan found destitute and crack-addicted in an Atlanta alley, 
clutching a frayed pair of skinny jeans

Sep 30, 2015

Little Known Facts: September 2015


Kenny Rogers recently announced his retirement from singing, 
five years after the last time he moved his mouth. 

A 2012 FCC ruling requires all FM stations that broadcast mostly traditional sounding 
country music be placed on a frequency that ends in an even number.

Paparazzi recently caught Jason Aldean in a public restroom 
with his jeans pulled down, attempting to unwad his panties.

In 2014 Gary Levox donated his belly button lint to Eskimos in upper 
Alaska to make new clothes for the village's children.

When classmates at the 10-year high school reunion would ask hick-hop artist Lenny Cooper 
what he does for a living, he'd tell them "foot fetish porn actor" to avoid embarrassment. 

When classmates at the 10-year high school reunion asked Bucky Covington what he does for a living,
he said "I sing with my cover band at high school reunions like this; I didn't actually graduate."

Tyler Hubbard's favorite instrument is GarageBand on a MacBook Air. 

Luke Bryan was late for his newest music video shoot consisting of pretty girls in lifted trucks
due to his Volkswagen having a flat tire on the way to pick up his skinny jeans from the tailor. 

Ryan Adams made his choice of which album to cover by drawing a name from a hat. 
Besides Taylor's 1989, the other options were Chad Brock's Yes!
2 Live Crew's Back at Your Ass for the Nine-4, and Trixter 's self-titled debut.

Taylor Swift was so excited when someone told her Ryan Adams 
was covering her album, she Googled his name immediately.

Sam Hunt is so tired of people asking why he considers himself country, 
he's just had t-shirts with "$$$" printed on them to point at during interviews.

If Jason Isbell got a free beer for every time somebody asked about 
his sobriety in an interview, he could… wait, that's just not appropriate.

Shooter Jennings' next release will be a folk album about hard times in the digital era 
entitled Hey Brother, Can You Spare a Bitcoin?

If you stare into a mirror and yell "Yee Yee" three times, 
a drunk skank with a 'Merica tube top will appear and give you a handy.

Thomas Rhett recently had keyless entry installed in his home because he can never find the key. 

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A Trailer & Jeremy Harris Collaborative Effort

Aug 5, 2015

Little Known Facts: August 2015


Def Leppard will be reissuing their entire catalog and sending all singles to country radio.
No remastering or editing will be performed.

Chase Rice has a punch card for the health department: collect 11 std's, get the 12th visit free.

I recently asked Ray Wylie Hubbard how it felt to be the second most successful Hubbard
in country music after Tyler. I wrote these facts while recovering in the hospital.

According to a recent interview with SavingCountryMusic.com Steven Tyler's two biggest 
pet peeves are: 1. People saying his country single sucks. 2. Online petitions asking him to
turn in his 1976 decathlon gold metal.

Bill Cosby knows every Tyler Farr song by heart.

With their upcoming album, The Damn Quails hope to surpass Texas rapper Lyndon U. MyJohnson 
as the most successful musical act to name themselves after a vice president's name.
 *editor's note: Yes, I know…

Blake Shelton filed for divorce after hearing that Ol' Red had began to play the field.

Elizabeth Cook once knocked Ronda Rousey out in a bar fight.

Shooter Jennings was nearly killed while playing in a McDonald's playland ball-pit
when Gary Levox confused him for an abandoned Chicken McNugget.

Jason Isbell was the only artist on the Billboard country top ten that had
heard of all the artists in the top ten last week.

When you play a Sam Hunt song backwards it's still not country.

Bucky Covington was recently fired from Apple as the person typing
your message when you use speak to text on an iPhone.

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92% of these written by Jeremy Harris

Apr 14, 2015

Country Singer Anagrams III

an·a·gram

ˈanəˌgram/
noun
a word, phrase, or name formed by rearranging the letters of another, such as cinema, formed from iceman.





Feb 11, 2015

Blame Georgia

 Blame Georgia
(Lyric parody of South Park's "Blame Canada")

Times are strange
Our kids are getting dumb
They won't respect tradition
They just want to bang and bump

Should we blame the school system?
Or blame bad parenting?
Or should we blame the X-Box?

No, blame Georgia!

Blame Georgia!

With all their trashy tailgate songs
And the studded jeans that they've got on

Blame Georgia! Blame Georgia!

It's time these idiots got caught
It's Georgia's fault!

Don't blame me if I lose my mind
I hear that damn Brantley and Jason and Luke all the time!

And Dallas Davidson, he's from Georgia as well
By now it's time we told them all just to go to hell

Yeah, blame Georgia!

Blame Georgia!

It seems that country music just sucks
Since Georgia discovered trucks

Blame Georgia!
Blame Georgia!

That's not even real country music anyway

My son should've been a scientist or a banker just as well
But all he wants to do is roll coal and go chasing tail

Should we blame ol Waylon?
Should we blame Paycheck?
Nah, blame Tyler Hubbard and Thomas Rhett.

That's it!

Blame Georgia! Blame Georgia!

With all their douchey hick-hoppin' crap
They can leap off Wolf Pen Gap

Blame Georgia! Shame on Georgia for...
The bros, we're so bored
And yeah, for Colt Ford
The Fireball and butts must all be undone
We must shame them and send them on the run
Oh, all this shitty music must be shunned

Blame Georgia! Blame Georgia!


-----------------------------
Don't take this too seriously, Georgians. 
Yes, we know Georgia is actually responsible for many more positives than negatives in country music. 
Just might wanna get some stuff in check in the present.

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