Showing posts with label Russell Dickerson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Russell Dickerson. Show all posts

Dec 14, 2021

Predicting 2022 in Mainstream Country Music



By Bobby Peacock

• Russell Dickerson revealed to actually be a deepfake

 Bobby continues to be the only person on the entire Internet not to like Lainey Wilson

 Luke Combs hits #1 with "Beer,” which is just him singing the word "beer" over and over again for four minutes

 Walker Hayes gets his second #1 with a cover of the "Chili's Baby Back Ribs" jingle

 Niko Moon runs crying to his mom when his next single fails to chart at all; claims radio PDs called him a poopyhead

 In an unprecedented move, Lauren Alaina records a duet with herself

 Kelsea Ballerini and HARDY propose to record a duet; plans canceled when they can't agree on which letters in the title should be capitalized, if any

 Jordan Davis buys dirt; realizes he can't find the one he can't live without; sells dirt

 Jason Aldean, Toby Keith, John Rich, Travis Tritt, and Aaron Lewis record a collab called "Red Voters with Blue Balls (Let's Go Brandon)"; song's lyric video gets deleted from YouTube for hate speech

 Brantley Gilbert actually does release the worst country song of all time -- oh wait, he already did that with "Bottoms Up"

 All four members of Parmalee discovered working at the same Arby's in Nashville

 Man previously caught sporting public erection due to Turnpike reunion hospitalized for priapism

 Cole Swindell gets his first celeb endorsement: his own personal line of Miracle Whip

 In an even more unprecedented move, Morgan Wallen releases a cover of Western Flyer's "Cherokee Highway"

 Bobby makes another stupidly long"best of the decade" list largely composed of songs that neither Trailer nor any Farce the Music reader has ever heard before

Apr 15, 2021

Mean Girls Country Reaction Gifs

When your friends went to a Brent Cobb/Kendell Marvel show without you

Stop making fun of Russell Dickerson's hair?

When Johnny Paycheck visited a school back in the day

This mom definitely likes Kane Brown

When you listen to Conway Twitty with your lady

Hey, you wanna hear this new Brian Kelley EP?

Niko Moon's songwriting process

If you're wearing a Dan + Shay t-shirt

Mar 12, 2021

Sleep Doctors Recommend Modern Country Radio as Sleep Aid

When patients come in complaining of sleep issues or constant tiredness, somnologists have many options. Sleep studies, diet and exercise changes, medication, breathing machines, and many other methods help doctors remedy those in their care. 

Lately, many sleep doctors are turning to an unusual therapy to cure insomnia: country music. Well, modern mainstream country radio, to be more precise. Studies have found the popular genre to be effective in nearly 72% of cases overall. 


Dr. Lenox Knox of Chicago was the first sleep specialist to discover the unlikely health aid. “I had a patient in my waiting room who told us he hadn’t slept in 4 straight days who was sound asleep.” said Knox. “We were playing a satellite country station over the speakers… I believe the artist was Dan and Jay or something like that.” “Long story short,” he continued. “We did a mini study on the patient, removed all other variables, and it was unquestionably the pop-country music that cured him.”


While official clinical trials are yet to take place, several of Knox’s associates report similar success. 


“We had a woman who was unresponsive to medication who basically passed out on the examination table when we played her the latest song from an artist called Niko Moon.” said Dr. Terry Temple of Shreveport. “We’re discovering that it’s not country music in general that is causing this effect on her and other patients, but specifically the style that is currently popular on mainstream radio stations.” 


“With mid-tempo “vibe” oriented soundscapes dominating the format right now, our patients are honestly just bored to sleep,” said Knox. “To put it un-clinically, their minds just shut off due to the drudgery and sameness.”


When questioned about why the style of music was so effective in helping the sleep-challenged resume a healthful pattern of rest, Temple theorized that “it’s the lack of sharp ‘real’ drum sounds, the sonic malaise of similar tempos, and the unchallenging subject matter, but that’s just a guess; I don’t mean to blindly group Kane Bryan, Dick Russelton, and all those other artists together.”

Jan 21, 2021

Ted Lasso Country Reaction Gifs

 When one bad pop-country artist has a hit with the least country song ever, the next bad pop-country artist is like...

Oh, did I get Russell Swindell mixed up with Jordan Rice?

Some people think Sam Hunt is country and...
(they're all wrong)

Wanna hear a song from a guy who a major paper describes as the next emo-rap country star?

Me after getting in a Twitter spat with Blake Shelton

When the car beside you is blasting Kane Brown

When some Aaron Lee Tasjan comes on


When Shooter Jennings sees his manager for the first time in a while

Dec 16, 2020

10 Worst "Country" Songs of 2020


----------

1. Niko Moon - Good Time
Snap beats, trap production, bland vocals, “tryna catch a good time.” You know I hate this. It makes me angry. This dude was in Zac Brown’s EDM project and that stink is still on him. I pushed this above Dan + Shay at the last minute because it pisses me off so much. Get off my lawn. 
 

 2. Dan + Shay - I Should Probably Go to Bed
Yes, it’s ranked here because it isn’t country by any measure. You can go debate whether it’s a good pop song on another website.  

 3. Upchurch ft. Carly Rogers - Hey Boy, Hey Girl
I don’t know if this was a serious attempt at pop country from the hick-hop firebrand, or maybe it was a satirical shot at this kind of song. Either way, it was bad. If you haven’t heard it before and you listen now, you’ll cringe so hard you’ll fall out of your chair.
   

 4. Walker Hayes - Trash My Heart
This one-trick pony probably blew his last shot at radio relevance in 2020, but not without one more awful offering.
   

 5. Kane Brown - Cool Again
I don’t like Kane Brown’s voice, period. He always sounds like he’s trying way too hard. He could sing “Amarillo By Morning” or “Amanda” with a hardcore country band and I wouldn’t like it. This was his worst single of 2020. Thus, the placement.  

 6. Luke Bryan - One Margarita
Luke just gets a bye into the top (bottom) 10 every year it seems.  

 7. Russell Dickerson - Honey
Not a single, but it’s so terrible that I imagine it will be. Boyfriend country with a heavy dash of bro.  

 8. Chase Rice & FGL - Drinkin’ Beer, Talkin’ God, Amen
Much like Carl Outlaw would say, I haven’t even listened to this song, but I know it’s bad. I’ve read the lyrics. I see the title. I’m familiar with the clowns involved. It’s a bad song.  

 9. Tim McGraw - Way Down
Tim is predictable. His cycle of releases usually goes: weird song with esoteric lyrics, truly excellent real country song, okay song with too much pop production, TERRIBLE PIECE OF SHIT THAT HE SHOULD BE EMBARRASSED BY. This was the latter.  

10. Florida-Georgia Line - I Love My Country
Thou doth protest too much FGL. I’ll admit it sounds better than boyfriend country, but it’s still a cloying and annoying bit of pandering.

Nov 20, 2020

Mainstream Country Station Plays Same Song for an Hour; No One Notices

Mainstream country radio station WPOO out of Nashua, NH played one song for an entire hour on loop this past Wednesday and no one even noticed.

Neither listeners, staff, nor the on air DJ raised a single concern about the fact that Russell Dickerson’s “Love You Like I Used To” played 13 times between 1:30 and 2:30 eastern time. The goof wasn’t caught until that night when a station scheduler, Ray Jefferson, reviewed the playlist from that afternoon.

“That song is basically a microcosm of everything we play,” explained Jefferson, “A bland dude with kind of smooth vocals, similar guitar sound, same lyrics just rearranged… you know the deal… so honestly, I don’t blame the DJ for not noticing.” He said that while he had no idea the effect the repeat might have had on over-the-air ratings, the streaming numbers actually rose during the hour.

On-air personality "Mean" Mark Edwards said he hadn’t even been reprimanded for the slip-up. “It’s the number one song in America, maybe people thought we were just celebrating that milestone.” he said. “It’s boring as hell but it fits into the sonic oatmeal of dullness we try to put forward here at POO 102. And of course no one noticed that no women were played that hour - c'est comme ├ža.” 

“The funniest thing about it was,” laughed Edwards, “A lady called in and requested that song while it was playing.” 


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