Oct 15, 2019
Oct 14, 2019
Oct 10, 2019
If there's a classic country station in your town
When you're playing originals
and somebody requests "Wagon Wheel"
When a kid says Willie Nelson sucks
When a modern country singer thinks he's outlaw because of a weed charge
Do you wanna listen to Kane Brown?
New Cody Jinks. Tomorrow.
When you were joking about liking Luke Bryan to your aunt and she bought you his discography
"How about we listen to the new Zac Brown Band?"
Oct 7, 2019
Aug 9, 2019
Carl Outlaw, Real Country Fan, Reviews The Highwomen's "Redesigning Women"
When trailer told me I'd be working with four women today, I had something else in mind entirely lol.
Anyway, these gals are called the Highwomen and supposed to be like the Highwaymen, four of the greatest TRUE country artists ever (ok, so I had to forgive Willie for that Stardust crap). I actually almost listened to this song, but then I saw whose in this group. I never heard of Nataly Heemby, so that's probably a good thing. But Amanda shyres is married to that liberal trash Jason Is-dean who ain't even country anyway, Brandi carlile blocked me on twiter for that private photograph I sent her - I don’t get it, I’m pretty hot - and maren morris is pop country trash. Or so I've heard at least. I wouldn't listen to pop country radio because it has Florida Georgia Line on it, and I took a Jason piss-bell there once. And who the shit does a playboy shoot and keeps there close on??
Again, I aint listening to this, but I see they got a line about cleaning up the kitchen, so at least they know there place I guess. Plus I wouldn't mind them polishing my table if you know what I mean. Even still, feminazi Morris probably has a rap breakdown somewhere in their to make it work for trashville radio.
Overall, this song proves the only good woman country singer was Loretta, and that's only until she started working with Jackoff White. Women don't need redesined as long as they stay in line, but country music sure as shit needs redesigin. But not by these gals. The last time we got a girl group we got the America hating Dixy Chicks, and that group had a Natalie in it to, so this ain't good.
-Written by the “real” Carl Outlaw
*this is satire!*
Jul 22, 2019
Jul 16, 2019
“Old Town Road (Rerererereremix)”
Lil Nas X
ft. Billy Ray Cyrus, Young Thug, Mason Ramsey,
Kid Rock, Lizzo, Florida-Georgia Line, Bon Iver,
Steve Aoki, Willie Nelson, Wale, Travis Barker,
Kane Brown, City Girls, Future, Ed Sheeran,
David Guetta, Camila Cabello, Meek Mill,
Blanco Brown, Chase Rice, Migos, Saweetie,
Brooks & Dunn, Maren Morris, & Halsey.
Jul 15, 2019
Jul 2, 2019
Jun 28, 2019
When Thomas Rhett whines about people saying he isn't country enough
When a group of adult friends is actually able to schedule going to a concert together
On the road again
Like a band of Gypsies we go down the highway
We're the best of friends
Insisting that the world keep turnin' our way
When your friend still has your Waylon records and isn't home
When somebody wearing a Kane Brown shirt tries to get in your car
Still more country than Old Dominion
When I leave a snarky comment on a Dustin Lynch YouTube video and leave
Jun 26, 2019
Jun 22, 2019
Jun 19, 2019
Jun 14, 2019
Listing off the reasons Luke Bryan sucks...
When you just drank 3 Monsters, punched a wall, and you're ready to hit that Florida-Georgia Line concert
♬ Hello walls,
how'd things go for you today? ♬
When the merch guy won't stop chatting with girls to sell you a t-shirt
My review of Thomas Rhett's new album
When somebody tries to abscond with your briefcase of Willie Nelson CDs
If you spend money on a Dustin Lynch concert you're doing this
When you just drank 3 Ensures, checked your Depends, and you're ready to hit that Bellamy Brothers concert