Showing posts with label Big & Rich. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Big & Rich. Show all posts

Feb 25, 2019

Cowboy Troy Wins PBR Air Force Invitational

by Trailer - Originally posted on Country California, Friday, May 22, 2009 

Big & Rich compadre, country rapper and former Nashville Star co-host Cowboy Troy added another bullet point to his impressive resume Sunday, winning the PBR's "Air Force Invitational" Built Ford Tough Series event in Worcester, Mass. 

Troy, last name Coleman on his birth certificate, topped two-time Professional Bull Riders World Champion Chris Shivers and Brazilian superstar Guilherme Marchi's averages by more than 3 points to take his first prize in the esteemed event. 

"Booyah!" exclaimed Troy as he gently dismounted from his final 90+ point ride, Little Yellow Jacket, all but certain of his victory. Although the genial rapper's bullriding prowess was a well-kept secret up until his participation in the event, the final posted results came as no surprise to anyone who bore witness to his complete dominance of PBR favorites Pinball Wizard, Sling Blade and Pandora's Box. When asked if he was surprised by his win, Coleman smiled: "A little, I reckon, but shucks man, I've been riding and roping since I was a little buckaroo." 

Although Troy is an anomaly for the PBR circuit at well over six feet tall, he is surprisingly agile atop the monstrous animals, ducking smoothly with the bulls' bucks and keeping a low center of gravity. "He beats all I've seen" said North Carolina's JB Mauney. "Damnation he's good; ain't he had enough success in the music world? I play chicken with the trayeeeyain." 

Troy took home a brand new black 2010 Ford F-250 along with a $326,000 purse for his efforts. "Yeeeehaw! Oh you didn't know?" he yelled to the crowd before making his victory circle (pictured). "I got the skills that instill thrills like hydraulics on a Cadillac convertabill... gitchoosome!!!!" 

Troy, who parted ways with Warner Bros. Nashville in 2008, will reportedly use some of his winnings to finance a new indie "hick hop" album tentatively titled Say It Loud, I'm Country and I'm Proud for late 2009 release.

Sep 4, 2018

John Rich Nike Memes

This is completely unrelated to the politics of this matter - just satirizing the silliness.






Aug 18, 2017

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #82


 Obviously, I've been getting a little jaded lately. I mean, Big Kenny and yours truly, the Rhinestone Redneck Playboy, are still putting it down (Check out our latest hit, "California!"), but things have slowed a bit on the songwriting side. Have you seen my name on the credits for many hit singles lately? Nah. I mean, don't get it twisted. I'm still living the pimp life hard, son. I still light my Cubans with twenties. But you know… things are different in the ville.

My newest advice is going to be the hardest I've ever given, because it goes against everything I stand for. Like me or not, you know I work hard, write hard, drink hard, and f… never mind. I don't settle for mediocrity. But here's what I'm telling you, based on the trends I see on Music Row.

Settle for mediocrity. If you normally write songs with wit, depth, story, and emotion, don't do that. If you can sing like Elvis or Etta James, take it down a hundred notches. If you can come up with melodies that would make Paul McCartney swoon, stop that shit. Nobody wants that anymore. They want substandard monotone songs sung by people who couldn't place top 5 in a high school talent competition.

Find a bunch of inspirational posters online and do the opposite of what they say. F**k 110%. Give 55%. Dance like somebody is watching and ridiculing you. When the going gets tough, whine.

Write lyrics like you're in an eighth grade creative writing class and can't think of any synonyms. Just go to a party and describe what you see in one syllable words. "Me drive truck, me drink beer, me tell girl, come right here." That's a hit!  Well, it's a hit as long as it sounds exactly like the other songs on the radio.

Don't strive for excellence. Don't try to leave a mark. Get it, fit in, shut up. Yeah, I'm mad. What are you looking at?


*not actually written by John Rich

Jan 13, 2017

Is Farce the Music Democrat or Republican?

People are always wondering which side of the political aisle we claim here at Farce the Music. 
Well, I hope this clears things up.





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