Showing posts with label LL Cool J. Show all posts
Showing posts with label LL Cool J. Show all posts

Nov 13, 2019

Top 10 Things Brad Paisley Might Be Doing During the CMAs

Brad Paisley won’t be co-hosting the CMA Awards for the first time in a while tonight. While it’s possible he may make an appearance to joke about his own absence or something, here are a few guesses as to what he might be doing otherwise.

10. Plotting another comeback that stalls at 17 on the country chart

9. Playing Guitar Hero and killing White Claws

8. Writing jokes for his next mildly amusing comedy special

7. Eating bon bons and watching Disney+

6. Writing a new comedic song about Tik Tok, or Crocs, or how women are always shopping or some shit

5. Sticking pins in a Carrie Underwood voodoo doll

4. Staring proudly at his NAACP award for ending racism with LL Cool J’s help

3. Tweeting from a burner account about how bad the show is without Brad Paisley co-hosting

2. Wiping his tears with a wad of crisp hundred dollar bills

1. Changing his contact information so Peyton Manning will leave him the f*** alone

Apr 10, 2013

Top 10 Lyrics That Wouldn't Have Made "Accidental Racist" Any Worse

10. If you don't judge my candy paint whip
I'll forget the pain and punishment

9. To the bum that squeegeed my windshield at the stoplight down on Main,
I think you missed a spot

8. I try to put myself in your shoes but I look dumb in Air Jordans

7. Dear Mr. Honky, You ain't bout that life

6. Our generation doesn't deserve any blamin'
But we're still paying for old faux pas

5. When I put on that t-shirt, the only thing I meant to say is I'm a Brantley fan

4. If you don't judge my baby mamas
I'll say George Bush was better than Obama

3. Caught between achy breaky and Harlem shake

2. And it ain't like you and me are up to speed on history

1. If you don't judge my twenty-twos
I won't bust a cap in you


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