Showing posts with label Kid Rock. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kid Rock. Show all posts

Mar 13, 2019

Country Walk-Up Songs 2019


College baseball has started and MLB is on the way. Go Cubs! 
As we did in 2013 & 2017, FTM ponders what songs country singers 
should use as their perfect "walk up" music if they were baseball players.
----------

Dustin Lynch


Mitchell Tenpenny

David Allan Coe

Sturgill Simpson

Kane Brown

Margo Price

Jordan Davis

Russell Dickerson

FGL

Rich O'Toole

Jason Aldean



Aug 14, 2018

The Secret to Rockers Going Country

These pop and rock artists could have had more success 
in the country world with these subtle lyrical changes.








Oct 26, 2016

What Your Carved Pumpkin Says About You: 2016 Edition

 Someone who lives here wears an electronic ankle bracelet.
We're handing out candy truck nutz. 


 We're voting for Gary Johnson.
We're listening to Willie.
We might ask for some of your candy.


 Mom can't stand Miranda Lambert.
And she's drunk on White Zinfandel.


 An intelligent and sophisticated person lives here.
Will not give candy to anyone dressed up like Luke Bryan.


We hand out organic candy.
But some of it might be Molly or LSD.


You better have your shots up to date.

Oct 6, 2016

Top 10 Conspiracies Shooter Jennings Can Cover Next

 

To celebrate the release of the Black Ribbons Ultimate Edition, Shooter Jennings has been running a podcast recently called Beyond the Black. In it he discusses the conspiracy-minded topics covered on that dystopian album. Jeremy counted down the best topics Shooter can cover on future episodes!

(and it's a top 11)

Top 11 Upcoming Topics For 
Shooter Jennings' Beyond The Black Podcasts

11. David Allan Coe was never picked up by the ghost of Hank Williams. 

10. All Colt Ford songs are secretly written about independent wrestler Die Hard Tom McClane. 

9. Bambi's mom was an inside job. 

8. Earl Thomas Conley schedules his tour dates around the Seattle Seahawks schedule. Coincidence?

7. 'Walking Dead' scenes that show destroyed urban areas are actually drone footage from outdoor bro-country concerts. 

6. The earth is a simulation created by Richard Garriott.

5. Randy Quaid and Gary Levox have never been seen together. Tune in to find out why. 

4. Proof that Sturgill Simpson is actually a reptile alien made of light. 

3. Detroit was booming until Kid Rock went country. The connection is there!

2. Two members of Jackson Taylor's band are NOT sinners. 

1. Billy Ray Cyrus died in a rollerblading accident and was saved when doctors working as consultants on the show 'Doc' stole Elvis' brain and implanted it into his head. The show was cancelled shortly after because he constantly wanted to sing 'Love Me Tender' during every episode. (This title may need to be shortened before airing the show)

-by Jeremy Harris

Jul 8, 2014

We Are Bro Country



We Are Bro-Country
(Lyric parody of Hank Jr's "Young Country")

We are bro-country, we are bad ass
Illegitimate children of inbred white trash
Our hair might be faux-hawked, jeans glittered and spiked
We know how to get drunk and go lookin' for fights 

We know what's tight, glass pack exhaust
And if you don't like it, I'll punch you, boss
We name drop the old stuff, but we only like new
And we do our own rappin', blue jean booty slappin'
If you're offended, F you

We are bro country, we ain't too bright
Our music and lifestyles, are big piles of shite
We don't have diplomas, or shirts that fit right
but we know how to bang skanks come Saturday night 

We like Eminem, we get faded to EDM
We like Lil Wayne and Jay-Z and T-Pain
Old Hank would be sick, wait who is old Hank?
We like our country mixed with hip-hop and stank

We are bro-country, we have no pride
Except in our bench press and sweet jacked up rides
Kid Rock would be proud and Fred Durst give props
'cause we like our country with drum loops and bass drops
We like to smoke bowls, we like to roll coal
Don't like it? F u!

Apr 22, 2013

I'm Sorry, This Exists: April '13

Hunter Hayes Varsity Jacket

Brantley Gilbert Hair Bow

David Allan Coe drawing by convicted murderer,  Robert John Bardo

Brantley Gilbert accidentally racist car flag

Chris Brown ugg boots

This grammatically incorrect t-shirt

Gary Levox fan art
"Jesus Take the Wheel" coffee mug

Kid Rock "Feel Like Makin' Love" Condoms

This morbid Kurt Cobain "27 Club" prayer candle

Lee Brice "Hard to Love" boyshorts

Luke Bryan painted glass

Romance novel based on a James Otto song
Hunter Hayes "I want to make you feel wanted" boyshorts

Velvet Glen Campbell "printed with actual black velvet + a squirt of manly musk"
Garth Brooks thong ...friends in low places, indeed!

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