Jan 4, 2021
Dec 22, 2020
Dec 9, 2020
Dec 8, 2020
(Idea "borrowed" from Medium)
Dustin Lynch - Tullahoma
You were kicked out of at least 3 stores for not wearing a mask in 2020. You don’t really like music, you just like Dustin’s smile, abs, and … wait, you’ve moved on to Russell Dickerson.
Russell Dickerson - Southern Symphony
You have the attention span of a 2-year-old and this is the most recent pop country album that came out. You don’t have a boyfriend, but if you did, he’d leave you for your godawful taste in music.
Upchurch - Everlasting Country
You’ve only heard it twice during your allotted media time at the prison library but you love it. Your parents are more proud of your brother, a furry who smokes synthetic marijuana.
Elizabeth Cook - Aftermath
You have put a man into a headlock for the last cigarette. You’ve showed up to church looking like a million bucks after a night of drinking that would have ended a normal human.
Drive-by Truckers - The Unravelling
You’ve been a fan since way back. Way back in 2016. Your real life friends hate you despite having the same political beliefs.
Sam Hunt - Southside
You’re either an idiot, or an otherwise intelligent music journalist with one major blind spot.
Matt Stell - Better Than That
You’re one of the 17 people who know who Matt Stell is, despite him having two #1 hits.
Arlo McKinley - Die Midwestern
Based on your listening habits, people would assume you’re a hard-living rancher or trucker, but they know better because they work in the cubicle next to yours.
Tyler Childers - Long Violent History
You’re able to look past click-bait headlines to see the true meaning and measure of a man. Also, your standards for old timey fiddle music are pretty low.
Keith Urban - The Speed of Now
You worked from home all year, but made fun of people who were worried about Covid. You love Yellowstone, but hate that old timey music they play. Your kids couldn’t spell their own names until they were 8 - not because they have learning disabilities - because their names are some shit like Matthieuwe or Khelleighe.
Aug 18, 2020
Jun 10, 2020
Aug 8, 2017
About a year ago, I decided I needed some quick questions to pop out in case I ran into someone who would be an interesting person to talk to for Farce The Music. I wanted the questions to be a mix of aggravating and stupid but not so many questions that it’d take forever to type up afterwards. I decided on five and would call them The Farce 5. Catchy ain’t it? In April of this year, I attended a Tyler Childers show at Ohio’s worst kept secret, Tootle’s Pumpkin Inn located in Circleville. I asked Tyler that if he had about five minutes because I had a very short interview I’d like to do. A few minutes later he came to me and The Farce 5 was underway. Enjoy.
by Jeremy Harris
FTM: If you can only pick one, what genre of music would you put yourself into to?
TC: One? I guess country? It’s hard to pick one. I just always considered it hillbillies making mountain sounds. It’s a little bit country, a little Appalachian but if it’s one, probably rap. I’ll go with rap.
FTM: That’s good. Rap seems popular these days and the kids love it. It’s a good way to get yourself introduced to a younger crowd.
FTM: I know there’s been times where you’ve shared a dressing room with other artist, so which of your fellow artist takes the stinkiest shits?
TC: [Whispers to self: Stinkiest shit?] I would say it would probably be Arlo McKinley. He takes the stinkiest shit.
FTM: But he has such a sweet voice.
TC: Yeah, but the other end ain’t so sweet man. It’s pretty nasty.
FTM: Well, I’ll try to stay on the voice end.
TC: Cheeseburgers and beer can be a bad equation.
FTM: Has there ever been a time when you pretended to remember a fan you’ve encountered so they would quit telling you why you should know them?
FTM: On a side note, we’ve met like three times.
TC: Yeah, I remember. Yeah I guess. That will make them go away.
FTM: Describe your worst hotel experience.
TC: I stayed in a place in Tulsa and I can’t remember what the place was but there was a 1-1/2 to 2 inch space under all the doors. when you were walking you could everything that was happening in each hotel room and the walls were paper thin. We go there and the guy next door he was, he was just being a real asshole to this woman and you’d hear him stay stuff like “Damnit!”, then he’d go on a big rant. I just kept thinking, that poor girl, and then after he did it like three times she just tore into him. Everything that he had said abusively, verbally didn’t hold a light to what she did to him. I was like, that poor guy…
FTM: You didn’t expect that did you?
TC: No, I didn’t expect that. There was a lot of arguing, stinky sheets and a stinky place.
FTM: Alright, last question. If you could make one singer or band disappear forever, who would it be and why?
TC: Hmmm, disappear. Probably, uh… I was thinking Gomer Pyle. The fact that he had that gorgeous voice just took so much away from the comedy side. So if you could keep Gomer Pyle as Gomer but take out all that singing shit that’d be great.
FTM: Thanks Tyler. I’ll get this all turned in within the next two days to six months. [barely made it]