Showing posts with label Eric Church. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Eric Church. Show all posts

Jan 10, 2019

Really Dumb Country Reviews: January '19


These are actual customer reviews from a popular music service.
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Dan + Shay - Self-Titled


Florida-Georgia Line - Can't Say I Ain't Country

This one's obviously a troll, but read it any way you want.


Johnny Cash (2 different albums)



Kane Brown - Experiment




Mitchell Tenpenny - Telling All My Secrets




Eric Church - Desperate Man


Dec 13, 2018

What Your Favorite 2018 Album Says About You 3


Brothers Osborne - Port Saint Joe
You smoke dope and vote Democrat, but don't want your dad to find out.

Morgan Evans - Things That We Drink To
Wait, who??

6ix9ine - Dummy Boy
You were fired from your job at Walgreens for having purple hair (but really it was for stealing pills).

Ghost - Prequelle
Your idea of a good time is reading about serial killers on Wikipedia. You dabbled in satanism in high school, but now are a Lutheran.

MTHRFCKR - Micro Crystals
You are too much of a hipster contrarian to admit this album doesn't actually exist. 

Eric Church - Desperate Man
You love how Eric is such a renegade and so different from all those other bro-dudes on country radio, but your favorite song of his is "These Boots." 

The Carters - Everything is Love
You will send me death threats if I say this album wasn't that good.

Eminem - Kamikaze
You are male, mid-thirties, single, and still argue with your parents over the rent for your room over the garage.

Sun Kil Moon - This is My Dinner
You are a military interrogator and this is your "favorite" only in that it is the most effective torture device to get enemy combatants to reveal information.

Greta Van Fleet - Anthem of the Peaceful Army
You are a forty-something dad who respects Led Zeppelin but doesn't really like them. Your ex-wife is still living pretty comfortably off the divorce settlement, but sells LulaRoe and essential oils on Facebook for extra cash.

Jason Aldean - Rearview Town
You didn't actually listen to the whole album, just the singles. You type things on Facebook like "Sam Hunt sucks… listen too real country like Jason Aldean an Old Dominion!"


Oct 10, 2018

Really Dumb Country Reviews: October '18


These are all real reviews on a popular music download service.
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Mitchell Tenpenny EP

Kane Brown - Experiment




Luke Combs - This One's for You Too
(These are dumb because why the hell would you buy an album without checking its contents?? And you don't have to buy the whole album again, you morons. You can just buy the bonus tracks. Really, these people are idiots.)





Carrie Underwood - Cry Pretty

Thomas Rhett - Life Changes (Deluxe)

Eric Church - Desperate Man



Not about the politics of this one - just the reading comprehension skills and grammar.

Dan + Shay - s/t
Do what now?




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