Showing posts with label Chris Young. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chris Young. Show all posts

Aug 7, 2020

Chris Young Too Big For His Britches Lately

#fakenewsclassic by Trailer - Originally posted on Country California February 15, 2011 
According to various sources, since ringing up his third consecutive #1 hit, Chris Young has become quite a diva. 

"Voices" has solidified Young's standing as a consistent hitmaker, and he's taking full advantage of his status. 

"His backstage rider was typical and manageable up until his song hit the top of the charts," said Knoxville venue manager James Houston. "Then we got faxed a replacement order that very day that was just nuts." 

"Originally he'd just asked for a meat and cheese tray, water, cola, and beer. Now, he wanted a boiled shrimp ring, 'real' New Orleans King cake (with a gold baby in it), bottled Arctic ice water, chipped ice, heated massage recliners, ten bottles of chilled special edition Grey Goose vodka… and that was just for starters. We had to have that King cake overnighted to us." 

Fans have reported similar behavior. "I wanted an autograph for my niece. He did sign my photo, with a sneer on his face… it looked like 'CRuMy' on there… and then he put his hand out like he wanted a tip," said Alesha Grant of Winston-Salem, NC. "His assistant told me that $5 was a fair amount to ask for 'Mr. Young's' signature… I just walked off. Really, Chris? And what's with the little dog in the man bag?" 

Young's new single "Tomorrow" has already been made available to select radio stations, based on criteria chosen by the singer himself. Chris Young's Facebook page had this statement regarding the new single: "Radio stations who played 'Voices' the first time I released it get 'Tomorrow' first... and to all the haters who didn't, you'll just have to wait for the official release. Hate on." 

According to Rascal Flatts' tour manager, Young has also asked for extended time for his opening set on their tour, and has been cracking "Gary LeVox is so fat…" jokes at nearly every show. 

Currently dating whichever Kardashian sister is single this week, Young had no comment at press time. 

May 27, 2020

Ranking the Country Chrises With Steak



(I actually like medium rare the best, so this isn't necessarily saying rare steak = best steak. 
It's just a dumb meme metaphor. And Chris Gaines was soft rock, thus the exclusion.)

Mar 19, 2020

WWE Country Reaction Gifs 41

When you find out Vince Gill’s “I Still Believe in You” was one big damn lie
  
I don’t give a shit if you like pop-country, you’re going with me to see Tyler Childers when this is all over.

When you get down the fiddle and you get down the bow

Is it okay to be hatin’ during a national emergency?

Being nice during this crisis is boring. Wanna make fun of Luke Bryan and FGL?

When you’re stuck in line 10 deep at Kroger and they’re playing Luke Bryan and FGL

What do you think of Dustin Lynch?


Chris Young concerts when he decided to become a headliner

Feb 22, 2019

Way More Countrier



A response to the return of "look how country I am" songs, particularly Hardy's "Rednecker" (which I realize may be satire, but still...)

Way More Countrier
©2019 FTM Satire

I see the pissing contest's back
Country this and country that
Well let me tell you something Jack
I'm countrier than y'all
I live where GPS can't track
My daughter's bike has a gun rack
It ain't no rumor, it's a fact...

I'm way more countrier than y'all
So many deer heads you can't see my wall
I own five robes that Ric Flair wore
Drive a truck with a truck painted on the door
Say your neck is red and your jowls are fat
Well I'm way more countrier than that

Everything I kill, I fry it
Hit a possum, yeah I'll try it
You're rednecker? I don't buy it
I'm countrier than y'all
My wife's on a cornbread diet
Named my son after Bray Wyatt
Take a look, you won't deny it

I'm way more countrier than y'all
Can't find my trailer, the weeds are so tall
I sneak a six pack into church
Got a whole room full of Hee Haw merch
You're from the backwoods? I'm further back
Yeah, I'm way more countrier than that

Bridge
You caught a big bass
Well kiss my ass
I've got a tattoo of Jesus
drinking a Pabst

I'm way more countrier than y'all
So many deer heads you can't see my wall
I own five robes that Ric Flair wore
Drive a truck with a truck painted on the door
Say your neck is red and your jowls are fat
Well I'm way more countrier than that


Oct 26, 2018

3 Up 3 Down: Chris Young, Cody Johnson, Kenny Chesney, etc.



3 Up:

Luke Combs - She Got the Best of Me
Luke Combs is hope for the future on country radio. No, he's no country music savior. Nobody's gonna mistake him for the next Waylon. Still, he's a throwback - even if the era he's a throwback to is the 90s. There's twang, real instruments, and real emotion. "She Got the Best of Me" is a catchy power ballad that'll stick in your head after a few listens. The vocal performance is strong and the lyrics are solid - though one wonders if he's telling the audience they're just getting the leftovers.
B

Kenny Chesney ft. Mindy Smith - Better Boat
Travis Meadows gets another big single and that's enough reason to root for this song. On top of that, Mindy Smith gets her first top 40 song ever with this release. Kenny's performance lacks the passion of Meadow's lived-in delivery, but there's little to complain about here. It's a thoughtful, restrained song that stands out amongst a sea of same-sounding mid tempo thumpers. 
A-

Cody Johnson - On My Way to You
The Texas darling seems well on his way to national stardom and it's good to see that he hasn't compromised a thing to get there. "On My Way to You" is a more country and more detail-oriented take on Rascal Flatts' "God Blessed the Broken Road." What stands out to me about this song is how there's still a tear in Cody's voice despite the positive subject matter. That's important. Hope this one goes to #1.
B+


3 Down:

Chris Young - Hangin' On
It's depressing to see one of the potentially great voices of this generation wasted on such meh radio fodder as this. "Hangin' On" is like off-brand vanilla ice cream that kinda has that funny taste from being in the freezer too long and has those weird ice crystals in every bite. There's nothing too shameful about the lyrics and there's no hip-hop beat; this song just sucks. Hopefully, the success of Luke Combs and Cody Johnson will inspire Chris to go back to the sound that brought him to the dance.
D-

Dustin Lynch - Good Girl
It's depressing to see one of the potentially pretty good voices of this generation wast… oh, who am I kidding? Yeah, Dustin had a couple of good pop-country songs at first, but this is who he is now: a good looking fake cowboy who sings vapid songs for undiscerning mainstream "country" fans and their boyfriends. There's a lot shameful about the lyrics and there's a hip-hop beat and this song just sucks. I hold out no hope Dustin Lynch will ever put out another song I'm not embarrassed to hear.
F

Mitchell Tenpenny - Drunk Me
Please don't let this guy happen. Aside from the "Bitches" controversy, I CANNOT FREAKING STAND MITCHELL TENPENNY'S VOICE. He's just terrible to the point that I feel rage welling up in me when I hear it. There is literally not one even microscopic thread of country in this song. It's fake ass watered down white boy R&B with some rock guitars thrown in to make it acceptable to play on the country station. I suppose the chorus is fairly catchy but it doesn't redeem this absolute feckless turd. Could he just go away?
F



Jun 1, 2018

Family Guy: Country Reaction Gifs

When Farce the Music makes another childish joke

Still more country than Sam Hunt
  
When your wife wants to watch the CMT Awards

Country record labels be like...

Florida-Georgia Line is working on a new album

Ladies and Gentlemen....

When dad says the family is going to 
see Chris Young and Kane Brown

When she starts listening to Brothers Osborne

♪ ♫ Twice a day I'd mash it down
and you could watch me self-destruct ♪ ♫






Jan 26, 2018

The Current Poop of Mainstream Country: January '18

A poop emoji equals a negative rating. A strike-thru poop emoji is a positive rating.



The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (-10) overall which is 7 point increase from November (the last time we did this chart). That's two Poop Ratings in a row that have shown marked improvement. The biggest surprise is that Thomas Rhett's song doesn't suck, but David Lee Murphy's does. The best song is obviously Chris Stapleton's "Broken Halos." The worst is, yet again, Walker Hayes' "You Broke Up With Me."  There are 2 solo females in the top 20 - as there were in November and as there were in August. 




Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.


Nov 15, 2017

Country Singer/Professional Wrestler Equivalents 3

Chris Young = Sami Zayn
Talented, likable, turned bad when doing things the right way didn't make him popular.


Sam Hunt = Karl Malone
Tall. Athletic. Not actually a country singer/wrestler, but happy to (poorly) pretend to be for money. Never won a pro sports championship.


Old Dominion = The Spirit Squad
There may be some talent in there, but it's hard to tell. Stupid looking. Creepy as shit.


Rich O'Toole = Zack Ryder
A bro, but a likable one. Self hype-man. Annoying to some, 
but appreciated when he does good work.


Charlie Daniels = Zeb Colter
Old, bearded, southern. Republican. Says crazy shit. 


Dan + Shay = Billy and Chuck
Duo. Somewhat talented, but purists don't like them. 
Are thought by some to be fabulous; not that there's anything wrong with that.


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