Showing posts with label Miranda Lambert. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Miranda Lambert. Show all posts

Mar 13, 2020

Fake News Classic: Former Taylor Swift Fans Seek New Bandwagon

by Trailer - Originally posted on Country California April 22, 2010 
After Taylor Swift was shut out at last Sunday's ACM Awards, some of her fans began to have second thoughts about their love of the young singing/songwriting phenom. 

"She's totally changed," said 14-year-old Madison Ramey, up past her usual bedtime at her friend's ACM party. "I mean, she even sang a song called 'Change.' You know what I mean?" 

Party host Lindsay Carmichael echoed the sentiment. "She's just not as cool now that she lost, I mean, now that she uh, just isn't as cool... you know..." Lindsay trailed off. 

Along with partygoers/former Taylor lovers Lani and Lesha, the girls have now formed a committee to research what up-and-coming singer most effectively speaks to the wants and needs of tween girls. Factoring into their decision will be the following criteria: lyrical relevance to the middle school/ninth grade experience, catchiness of songs, attractiveness of the singer, fashion sense of the singer, upward mobility of the artist's popularity and the "iPod" factor. "You know, which singer would you be least embarrassed to answer with when someone asks who you're rocking in the Skullcandies today," explained Lindsay, as she removed a playlist entitled "Tay Tay" from her iTunes and re-synced her iPod. 

Some of the artists the girls were considering were Lady Gaga, Ke$ha and Miranda Lambert. "They're all kinda old, but their popularity is rising so that means they're still making good music unlike somebody we used to like," sniped Lani. 

Wearing turned-inside-out "Fearless Tour" t-shirts, the girls sang a rousing chorus of "Blah Blah Blah" before the night's festivities came to an end when parents began arriving to pick up their daughters. 

Dec 10, 2019

What Your Favorite Album of 2019 Says About You



Lizzo - Cuz I Love You
You started listening to this so your daughter would think you’re cool. She does not.

Thomas Rhett - Center Point Road
You can talk for hours on end without ever saying anything of importance. You go to church just so you look cute on Instagram once a week.

Billie Eilish - When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?
Your mom started listening to Lizzo so you’d think she’s cool. You don’t, but mostly because she won’t let you have blue hair or date a 23 year old.

Vampire Weekend - Father of the Bride
You’re at the age that you know what yuppies felt like in the 90s. You drive a Volvo.

Miranda Lambert - Wildcard
You don’t get drunk on the weekends as much anymore, but only because the hangovers really hurt in your mid-30s. You’ve had non-physical fights with your significant other so loud that the police were called …more than once.

George Strait - Honky-Tonk Time Machine
Country radio is not for you, but you don’t care if other people like it. You iron your jeans and only have one tattoo you got in the Navy.

Cody Jinks - The Wanting
Country radio is not for you, and f*ck anybody who likes it. You’re still wearing the same jeans from Saturday and have at least two skull tattoos.

Mitchell Tenpenny - Telling All My Secrets
You don’t know what year it is and have the shittiest taste in music possible. 

Koe Wetzel - Harold Saul High
You have a jacked up truck with exhaust stacks, fight with your girlfriend in public, and are drunk right now. But you still think you’re better than those douchebags who listen to Florida-Georgia Line.

----------

This is satire. Don't take it seriously.
Also, if your favorite wasn't here, there will probably be another edition.
Idea stolen from Medium.

Dec 3, 2019

Really Dumb Country Reviews: Dec. '19

From a popular digital music service.
----------

Dan + Shay & Bieber - 10,000 Hours


Highwomen - s/t


Miranda Lambert - Wildcard


Jason Aldean - 9


Cody Jinks - The Wanting

Upchurch - Parachute



Ashley McBryde - One Night Standards


Blake & Trace - Hell Right


Luke Bryan - What She Wants Tonight

Oct 17, 2019

Oct 16, 2019

The Current Poop of Mainstream Country: Oct. '19

A poop emoji is negative; a strike-thru is positive.



The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (-8) overall which is a 2 point improvement from July (the previous time we did this chart). The best song on the chart is Jon Pardi’s “Heartache Medication.”  The worst is Blake Shelton & Trace Adkins’ “Hell Right.” 


Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.

Oct 2, 2019

Really Dumb Country Reviews: October '19


These are real reviews from a popular digital music service.
----------

Zac Brown Band - The Owl






The Highwomen - s/t




Jon Pardi - Heartache Medication



Upchurch - Parachute


Sturgill Simpson - Sound & Fury
(yeah, I know it's not actually country)




Miranda Lambert - Wildcard


Sep 24, 2019

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails