Showing posts with label Miranda Lambert. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Miranda Lambert. Show all posts

Dec 10, 2019

What Your Favorite Album of 2019 Says About You



Lizzo - Cuz I Love You
You started listening to this so your daughter would think you’re cool. She does not.

Thomas Rhett - Center Point Road
You can talk for hours on end without ever saying anything of importance. You go to church just so you look cute on Instagram once a week.

Billie Eilish - When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?
Your mom started listening to Lizzo so you’d think she’s cool. You don’t, but mostly because she won’t let you have blue hair or date a 23 year old.

Vampire Weekend - Father of the Bride
You’re at the age that you know what yuppies felt like in the 90s. You drive a Volvo.

Miranda Lambert - Wildcard
You don’t get drunk on the weekends as much anymore, but only because the hangovers really hurt in your mid-30s. You’ve had non-physical fights with your significant other so loud that the police were called …more than once.

George Strait - Honky-Tonk Time Machine
Country radio is not for you, but you don’t care if other people like it. You iron your jeans and only have one tattoo you got in the Navy.

Cody Jinks - The Wanting
Country radio is not for you, and f*ck anybody who likes it. You’re still wearing the same jeans from Saturday and have at least two skull tattoos.

Mitchell Tenpenny - Telling All My Secrets
You don’t know what year it is and have the shittiest taste in music possible. 

Koe Wetzel - Harold Saul High
You have a jacked up truck with exhaust stacks, fight with your girlfriend in public, and are drunk right now. But you still think you’re better than those douchebags who listen to Florida-Georgia Line.

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This is satire. Don't take it seriously.
Also, if your favorite wasn't here, there will probably be another edition.
Idea stolen from Medium.

Dec 3, 2019

Really Dumb Country Reviews: Dec. '19

From a popular digital music service.
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Dan + Shay & Bieber - 10,000 Hours


Highwomen - s/t


Miranda Lambert - Wildcard


Jason Aldean - 9


Cody Jinks - The Wanting

Upchurch - Parachute



Ashley McBryde - One Night Standards


Blake & Trace - Hell Right


Luke Bryan - What She Wants Tonight

Oct 17, 2019

Oct 16, 2019

The Current Poop of Mainstream Country: Oct. '19

A poop emoji is negative; a strike-thru is positive.



The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (-8) overall which is a 2 point improvement from July (the previous time we did this chart). The best song on the chart is Jon Pardi’s “Heartache Medication.”  The worst is Blake Shelton & Trace Adkins’ “Hell Right.” 


Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.

Oct 2, 2019

Really Dumb Country Reviews: October '19


These are real reviews from a popular digital music service.
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Zac Brown Band - The Owl






The Highwomen - s/t




Jon Pardi - Heartache Medication



Upchurch - Parachute


Sturgill Simpson - Sound & Fury
(yeah, I know it's not actually country)




Miranda Lambert - Wildcard


Sep 24, 2019

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