Showing posts with label Kip Moore. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kip Moore. Show all posts

Jul 18, 2012

Larry Lee the Primitive Baptist Reviews: Kip Moore - Beer Money

Kip Moore - Beer Money
(listen at this link, if you wish to soil your soul)


After a couple of good, wholesome songs for review, Trailer has returned to sending me these typically worldly "country" songs that can cause a believer to stumble. Even sending me a song like this is considered sin in the holy gaze of the Father. "Beer Money" by Kip Moore is a deviant song about misusing one's income to worship at the foul-smelling feet of Satan. 

If you have some money, you didn't make that money. Somebody else made that happen! The great and perfect heavenly Lord let you borrow that money. We are just to be the stewards.

So what does Mr. Kip Moore do with GOD'S MONEY??? He purchases the products of that great Idol of Evil, Adolphus Busch. Kip uses money that may be intended for the purchase of tracts to hand out to despicable sinners outside the very country music concerts he performs at for getting drunk.

We've already discussed the wickedness of fermented drink. A TRUE Christian's lips should NEVER touch alcohol (ahem, Catholics), much less use the devil's urine to become intoxicated. Why, I'd rather grab a roach off the floor of my daughter and son-in-law's disgusting trailer and eat it than have even a molecule of  "Bud Platinum" evaporate on my tongue. Or the "Natty Light" said son-in-law has rolling around in the bed of his truck. I fear that boy will drag my offspring to the deepest canyon of Hades.

Speaking of Hades, this perverse singer sings positively of "raising hell." Were you brought up by crack harlots and biker gangs, Kip Moore??? For shame! I can hardly contain my indignation about this song and living in a country that would embrace such "art" with open, tattooed arms. Handbasket, meet Hell.

F

Jun 5, 2012

I'm Sorry, This Exists 6

Jimmy Buffett "glittered" album cover


Jason Aldean corn maze (this existed)

"She's Country" wine glass

Honky Tonk Badonkadonk coasters and guitar pick

This. Sigh.

This.

Kip Moore acrylic on canvas

Leann Rimes Bikini Top coffee mug

F-yeah Rascal Flatts Tumblr site

"Red Solo Cup" hoodie with Bleeding Cowboys font!

Taylor Swift embroidery template

Singin' Bout a Truck (Somethin' Bout a Truck Parody)


Singin' Bout a Truck
(Parody of Kip Moore's "Somethin' Bout a Truck")

Singin' bout a truck always seals the deal
Toss in a girl and a farmer's field
Nobody's gonna question if your motive's real
Singin' bout a truck, it don't take much skill

Tell 'em bout a beer, preferably light
No need to rock the boat, just keep your rhymes tight
Throw in a tailgate, set the scene just right
Singin' bout a beer, no need to think twice

Gotta have a girl ,if you want some success
Put her in cut-offs or a cute sundress
The teen demographic has to be impressed
So sing about a girl and get your wallet blessed

Now there's gotta be some making out for you to score
It should be her first time, she can't be a whore
No kinky stuff now, like handcuffs or back doors
Nothing's more wholesome than a country girl's drawers

Singin' bout a truck seals the deal
And a girl with big breasts in the video just makes sense
Cause CMT can't resist
Something about boots and jeans and familiar scenes
Oh Lord have mercy, I can hear that cha-ching
It's scientific not luck, singin' bout a truck

Somewhere bout the time the sky gets dim
After a few of those beers, country folks show some skin
Skinny dipping' ain't edgy but we can pretend
Somethin' bout a creek makes you more than friends

Singin' bout a truck is the Midas touch
And a girl with a cute butt in the video just makes sense
CMT'll give ya heavy spins
Just write some different words to the same old scenes
Oh Lord have mercy, I can hear that cha-ching
It's scientific not luck, singin' bout a truck
It don't matter if it sucks, singin' bout a truck

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