Showing posts with label Guest Submissions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Guest Submissions. Show all posts

Jan 22, 2019

In Unnecessary Defense of Alan Jackson

J-man Burnett, a Farce the Music reader, has responded to the ever present Alan Jackson troll. While I'd love to just ignore this deluded person, not even ignoring them seems to end the madness. As far as I know, I can't block IP addresses on Blogger, and I'm not switching formats anytime soon because I'm lazy, so I'll just delete the comments when I remember to. Anyway, here's J-man's completely unnecessary defense of Alan Jackson.

Dec 5, 2017

Guest Submission: "O Holy Night (Shake it For Me)"

O Holy Night (Shake it For Me)
(A Bro-Country Christmas Parody)
Submitted by Sean Kelly

O holy night
The truck lights brightly shining
It's the night to rock it in the bed
Long lay the young bucks
on the truck box pining
Till she appeared 
and shook everything she had

A thrill of hope
Sounds of boots are stomping
For the DJ spins a rockin' country song
Fall in the mud
O hear the cricket's chirping
O hey girl
O hey girl,
Shake that for me
O hey girl, O hey girl

Shake that for me

Sep 22, 2017

You're Not a Real Country Singer!

You're Not a Real Country Singer If...

Your jeans are tight but your name ain't Dwight

You've ever suggested a trap beat to your album's producer

You've spent any amount of time trying to work 
the phrase "poop emoji" into a song @samgazdiak

All your fans need a ride from their parents to the concert... -Eddie Combs

You're more likely to be seen with a Sun Beach tan than a Miller can

You think Bobby Bare is the name of an exotic dancer -Justin Chambers

You haven't left a girl in West Virginia, up there where the green grass grows. 
Another girl in Cincinnati waiting where the Ohio River flows -Anthony Machado

They play your song on country radio @harrymorgan1937

You are certain Hank done it this way -Carl Wallace

Your jeans are tighter than your electronic drum beat @mkleiner2

You have tattoos but no scars -Seth Wilson

Your favorite Patty Loveless song is "Who is Patty Loveless?"

You are Kane Brown @amanda_darlene3

Your name rhymes with "mane crown" -Garrett Dressler

You can't get stoned with your band because it's all computers @Famous_Abell

You have a hype man

You think the Carter scratch is something your DJ does @JuliThanki

You don't say anything at all about mama, or trains, or trucks, 
or prison, or gettin' drunk. -Connor Smith

You sing about Dixie cups. (if you do, you're either a dentist or a toddler) @ryankentm

You can't name 3 George Jones songs but you remember every winner of The Bachelor

You use "how we roll" in a song and your protagonist in the song 
isn't a truck driver. -Michael Crabtree

You think American Aquarium is a nickname for Seaworld @SeanRKent

You'd rather be spayed or neutered than express any negative opinion whatsoever

At least one Backstreet Boy was involved in the 
creation of your latest album. @10lbhammerbp

You think Conway Twitty is just someone The Family Guy made up

Your truck tires are higher than your IQ @Senor_Fern

You think Jason Aldean is "old school".... -Chuck Dye

You can't recite the "third" verse to "Friends in Low Places" @swoletexan

You sing about bars and churches, but haven't been to either one in years

You have backup dancers -BamaDan Ferguson

You think a Telecaster is the guy who reads the news on TV - Seth Wilson

You think Moe Bandy is a rapper featured on Ariana Grande's next single

Thanks to our Twitter and Facebook friends for the replies!
All others written by Trailer.

Sep 20, 2017

Readers Meme Midland

I haven't had it in me to meme Midland yet, mostly because I really like their songs. 
Maybe these memes sent in by readers will get me inspired to 'hate' on 'em.

Sent in by Matt Brucker

Idea by Keith Irwin

Mar 30, 2017

You Might Be Fake Country if... (Guest Submission)

...your mic stand went platinum but your album didn't...

You think love songs are supposed to be about trucks & tractors

All your songs are about dirt roads but you grew up in the city...
You think Porter Wagoner is a Jeep...

Your manager thought it would be cool to put a chick in the band 
but you're not sure which band member it is...

You think Flatt & Scruggs makes lawn mower engines...

You think "Will the Circle Be Unbroken" is a trick question...

You think a country shuffle is a cool new Spotify playlist...

You think the "Wabash Cannonball" is a cinnamon whiskey shot...

You think 3/4 time a law that helped your cousin get out of prison early

You spent more time picking out your wardrobe than writing your last single...

You only became a country singer to help you reach your goal of 
becoming a judge on TV karaoke contest


Thanks to John Deery of the John Deery Band for sending this in!

Dec 28, 2016

Oct 5, 2016

Tom Hanks Country Reaction Gifs

Upon hearing that the Waffle House jukebox
has an exclusive Sturgill Simpson song:

 When pop country gets someone more talented than 
it deserves, like Chris Stapleton:

After years of trying desperately to remove his overly tight 
skinny jeans, Luke Bryan gets some advice from Tom Hanks:

 When you're on a favorite band's website and you see 
that they have a new album available for preorder:

Online argument with a Kane Brown fan:

"Hey driver, can you put on some Chase Rice?"

Thanks to Tom Simmons for sending these in to us!

Sep 29, 2016

Luke and Reba (Guest Submission Meme)

Thanks to an anonymous reader who did not want the "blame or the credit" for this.

Aug 17, 2016

Hashtag Games: #wrestlingcountrysongs

WWF "Country Singer" Jeff Jarrett performs "With My Baby Tonight"
 Hashtag Games: #WrestlingCountrySongs

Thanks to our Twitter friends for helping out with this "hashtag game," combining wrestling-related stuff with country song titles. As you will see, @toomuchcountry had a lot of fun with this.

Mammas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Luchadors

Take This Foot and Shove It (Up Your Candy Ass)

Feed Jake the Snake - @straitshooter13

Hello Walls of Jericho

All My Rowdy Friends Are Having a Cage Match Tonight

♫ Solie, Solie, Solie, Solieeeee / Please don't pin him just because you can ♫ - @toomuchcountry

Stand By Your McMahon  - @DHWritesCountry

Seven Spanish Announce Tables

Chill of an Early Fall Brawl

Will the Squared Circle Be Unbroken - @toomuchcountry

A Boy Named Shinsuke

Rated "DX"

Goodbye Earl Hebner

There Ought to Be a Lawler (by Billy "Smash Craddock) - @toomuchcountry

The Stone Cold Hard Truth

Sea of Heartbreak Kid - @Bocephus50

Smoky Mountain Reigns

Punjabi Prison Blues

Honky Tonk Man (no change)

Diamond Dallas Rings & Old Barstools - @toomuchcountry

She Thinks His Name Was John Cena

Bigger Than Breezango

Save A Horseman by Big and Tommy Rich - @toomuchcountry

Shawn Michaels Lost His Smile

Starrcades Over Texas

Cross Rhodes Anthem

Might As Well Get Stone Cold Steve Austin - @DHWritesCountry

Mississippi Moonsault

Whiskey Bent and Hell's Gate

Andre From Montgomery - @toomuchcountry

Kurt Angles Among Us

If We Make It Through December to Dismember

Stand By Your Mankind - @peliti27

Are You Sure Hulk Done It This Way?

Jun 8, 2016

Guest Submission: Parody of Thomas Rhett's "Vacation"

Parody of Thomas Rhett’s “Vacation”

by Zackary Kephart

My genre is rotting because of the pop music sound that has conquered
I'm hoping one day we'll look back and this will just be a blur
No one gives a care, they pretend like it's ok so,
it might just be me bitching but it feels like it's all fake bros,

How have these songs never ever been slaughtered?
Do any of these writers really have an alma mater​?
How have these songs never ever been slaughtered?
My brain has started melting ‘cause the songs are getting dumber

Singing hey, let's break away from the Bro-Nation
Hey, let's get away from the bro-nation
These singers deserve a backhand
It's a total wasteland
This ain't what Hank planned
These songs need to be canned
Singing hey, let's break away from the Bro-Nation

Things were kind of looking up, and then all of a sudden, bam!
I thought it couldn't get any worse than that other guy named Sam
You think we'd all awaken, from the nightmares of our gripes
But they really call this country and that sure as hell ain’t right

Singing hey, let's break away from the Bro-Nation
Hey, let's get away from the bro-nation
(I said, I said, I said,)
These singers deserve a backhand
It's a total wasteland
This ain't what Hank planned
These songs need to be canned
Singing hey, let's break away from the Bro-Nation

The writers of this song should be charged with manslaughter
They're killing country music in their quest to make it hotter
This song's a dumpster fire that needs to be poured on with water
Once again do these guys even have an alma mater?!?

Singing hey, let's break away from the Bro-Nation
Hey, let's get away from the bro-nation
You know the singers deserve a backhand
It's a total wasteland
This ain't what Hank planned
These songs need to be canned
Singing hey, let's break away from the Bro-Nation

Break away from the bro-nation

Break away from the bro-nation

Repeat until end.


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