Jan 22, 2019

In Unnecessary Defense of Alan Jackson

J-man Burnett, a Farce the Music reader, has responded to the ever present Alan Jackson troll. While I'd love to just ignore this deluded person, not even ignoring them seems to end the madness. As far as I know, I can't block IP addresses on Blogger, and I'm not switching formats anytime soon because I'm lazy, so I'll just delete the comments when I remember to. Anyway, here's J-man's completely unnecessary defense of Alan Jackson.


  1. *WARNING: Resistance is futile. I'll never get tired of spreading the message that #AlanJacksonKilledCountry.*
    You're right, Trailer, this post is completely unnecessary. There is so much wrong in this attempted defense of the soy boy who destroyed country music. Whereas Alan Jackson may have grown up on the sounds of Hank Jr. and Gene Watson as you claim (about as likely as Mussolini winning WWII by 1945), it sure as hell doesn’t rub off in his music, which has much more in common with Drake and Future. It was Jackson, after all, who practically invented the “pop-flavored flavored stuff coming out now” (bro-country) mentioned in the minuscule footnote with his “simple songwriting style” which is as country as my Sony MHC RG90 and LBT GPX77. For example, see, "Chattahoochee", "Where I Come From", and "Country Boy" - virtually all of the caricaturist bro-country tropes are there: Moonlight, trucks, beer, river banks, hot girls, house parties, etc. And keep in mind that country music is often stereotyped as being ignorant and jingoistic, being tailor-made for racist, trailer-dwelling white trash rednecks and hicks. And you can thank none other than Alan Jackson for this close-minded view of country music which has become so prevalent. Look no further than "It's Alright to Be a Redneck” (the title tells you all you need to know), "I Still Like Bologna", "Jim and Jack and Hank", and, of course, that stupid 9/11-exploiting song where he couldn't tell the difference between Iraq and Iran. And to rub salt on the wound, another way in which Jackson has destroyed and disgraced country music lies with the fact that modern country is frequently (rightfully) criticized for its heavy non-country influences, especially Drake style R&B, 80's hair metal, and of course, hip-hop. Since 2008, guess who has been Alan Jackson's producer? Rapper Polow da Don, the same guy who produced Nicki Minaj's pile of crap "Anaconda" and in addition has produced songs for many other fellow rappers like Nelly, Rich Boy, Gucci Mane, T.I., and Travis Scott. And contrary to what you think, it has been PROVEN that Alan Jackson has covered multiple rap songs in concert, specifically
    * Akon - Don't Matter
    * Wiz Khalifa - We Dem Boyz ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFOtWpul3ZY )
    * Tyga - Hookah
    * Soulja Boy - Turn My Swag On
    * Soulja Boy - I Got that Sauce
    * Future - Mask Off
    * Flo Rida - Whistle
    * T.I. - Whatever You Like
    * Big Sean ft. Nicki Minaj - Dance (A$$)
    * Lil Wayne - Love Me
    * Drake - Passionfruit
    * Offset - Ric Flair Drip
    * Waka Flocka Flame - Hard in da Paint
    * Shaquille O'Neal - (I Know I Got) Skillz
    * Fetty Wap - Jugg
    And I could give less a flying fuck about any of those little “protests” Jackson may have done at country music awards shows, such as forcing his drummer to play without sticks, covering George Jones’ “Choices” (although I’m sure he’d rather have been covering Wiz Khalifa and Soulja Boy), or walking out on Beyonce and the Dixie Chicks’ performance (but it’s completely acceptable when Jackson does something similar, like having rapper Polow da Don produce his music). In fact, those protests are nothing but Jackson attempting to rehabilitate his image as a “traditional country artist” to country music fans who should rightfully be angry at the damage that he has done to country music. And unfortunately, most country fans (not me) fell hook, line, and sinker into Jackson’s lie. But that does not change reality, which is that Alan Jackson is the biggest disgrace to country music in its entire history. The various non-country influences infecting country radio today, artists like Luke Bryan, FGL, Kane Brown, Morgan Wallen, Cole Swindell, Dan + Shay, and Dustin Lynch, and the fact that pop star Bebe Rexha holds the record for the longest running number one country song at 50 weeks are all the apocalyptic aftermath of what Alan Jackson, the Nickelback of country music, did to this genre.

  2. Blaming Alan Jackson for Bro-Country is like blaming Nirvana for Hanson.



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