Sep 30, 2020
Jul 23, 2020
Honky tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm make you wanna swing along
I ain't as good as I once was
But I'm as good once as I ever was
When Chris Stapleton blasts a three run homer in the 8th to take back the lead
Your cheatin' heart will tell on you
When they're playing Luke Bryan over the PA system
Is it cold in here, or is it just you?
When your give a damn's busted
|(this is from the minors, but it had to be here)|
What you think of that new Parmalee song?
Somebody said there'd be no normal live concerts until 2022. Yeah, that's fine... no big deal.
Jun 14, 2020
May 28, 2020
Apr 29, 2020
Apr 1, 2020
11. Teach a Kane Brown fan to read by FaceTime
10. Send a letter to your congressman informing them that your favorite bands can still perform live and stay under the 10 person recommendation
9. Remind hick-hop fans that not only should they wash their hands frequently, but that they should also wash their bodies from time to time
8. Paint an inspirational message on the local water tower in John Deere green
7. Tell the Dollar General manager that times are stressful enough without them playing bro-country in the store and kindly request they turn it off
6. Go to your favorite bartender's house and blare George Jones from their yard to cheer them up
5. Whatever Dolly Parton is doing, do that
4. Send a friendly postcard to a Brantley Gilbert fan in prison
3. Avoid political arguments unless one a’ them stinkin’ liberal pinko commie America-hatin’ Dixie Chicks fans starts it first
2. Use two pairs of Luke Bryan’s old pants to make one face mask for the local hospital
1. Buy albums and merchandise from the independent musicians you enjoy (or tip them during their live shows on Instagram, Facebook, etc)
~By Trailer and Jeremy Harris
Mar 31, 2020
Mar 30, 2020
Jan 20, 2020
Nov 14, 2019
Oct 30, 2019
Aug 2, 2019
A Collaboration/Guest Submission by Jackson Burnett & Trailer
Some would imagine that the country music industry during the mainstream’s last agreeable era, the 1990s, wasn’t as likely to contain divas and D-bags as it does today. However, that isn’t the case. Here are the 10 biggest offenders…
10. Joe Diffie
Plans to reissue his entire catalog on 4-track cartridges.
Personal Facebook page appears hacked, but it’s actually him posting all those links to bootleg Ray-Bans.
9. Suzy Bogguss
Covers “Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue” at the start of every show after 2006.
Drinks right from the 40 oz bottle of Olde English 800 and puts it back in the fridge.
8. Wade Hayes
Slashed Joe Diffie’s bus tires on a recent 90s country tour.
Sprinkles when he tinkles and isn’t neat enough to wipe the seat.
7. Patty Loveless
Final single was a dubstep remix of “Cleopatra, Queen of Denial.”
Hated touring Canada because “Canucks suck.”
6. Pam Tillis
Once said nice things about Locash… no, wait, that really happened.
Hides her master tapes under a dirty laundry pile that’s been sitting in her guest bathroom since 2005.
5. Ty Herndon
Leaves the sink running everywhere he goes.
Refuses to replace his official Angelfire website.
Sings exclusively in an “Ernie from Sesame Street” voice in concert.
4. Marty Raybon (Shenandoah, Raybon Brothers)
Spread a rumor that Diamond Rio were the country Milli Vanilli.
Just pours his tobacco spit cup out right by the door of the tour bus.
Stops in roundabouts.
3. Terri Clark
Once put Pam Tillis in a triangle choke submission for sneezing in her presence.
When on tour, has a tradition of taking selfies of her peeing on national landmarks.
Calls her dogs “puppers” and doggos.”
2. Trisha Yearwood
Once told an audience to “go f*** yourselves” for not singing along to her cover of “Bump & Grind."
Responds to fan mail by sending nude Garth pics.
Against legalization, but always on that kush.
1. Jim Lauderdale
Abuses Domino’s carryout insurance policy.
Ghost-wrote 88% of all bro-country songs.
Constantly on Tik Tok during meals with his bandmates.
Wants to tour with Old Dominion.