Showing posts with label Summer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Summer. Show all posts

May 31, 2017

A New Summer Smash Hit



Just Like We Did Last Summer
©2017 FTM Satire

Baby here we go again
A summer song for your and your friends
June, July and August heat
It's the same damn song with a different beat
Ice cold beers and happy tears
Cause swimsuit styles show more ass this year
Pour up drinks till the world's a blur
And crank whatever rapper's popular

Just like we did last summer
Dumb ass music and weak rum runners
You got pirate booty and I wanna plunder
No it ain't legal, but you got my number
Beaches, buds, and backseat hummers
Just like we did last summer

Honey, here's where I hip-hop talk
Even though I'm as white as chalk
Let's skinny dip, get a tan
Then dance by some trucks the way you can
If booty's wrong I'm a sinner
So turn it around like a fidget spinner
Auto-tune this familiar line
Pass around a jar of store bought shine

Just like we did last summer
Pickup trucks, Jeeps, and Forerunners
Country boys booming that bass like thunder
If the cops show up it'll be a bummer
Beaches, buds, and backseat hummers
Just like we did last summer

Bridge
This part's where we slow it down and get a little romantic
Girl you save me from myself, moonlight, blah blah enchanted
You be the housewife, I'll be the plumber...

Just like we did last summer
Dumb ass music and weak rum runners
You got pirate booty and I wanna plunder
No it ain't legal, but you got my number
Beaches, buds, and backseat hummers
Just like we did last summer

Jun 4, 2015

Summer Country Music Festival Waiver

Another summer, another spate of bad behavior from summer country concert attendees. To combat the possibility of lawsuits, some promoters have begun forcing ticket buyers to sign liability waivers. Here's a really thorough one for the upcoming Florida Country Superfest.*



*totally not real, but probably should be.

May 29, 2015

How to Know Summer is Here

 How to Know Summer is Here

Kid Rock is being played on every format. (Except rock and rap)

Green Peace begins lecturing all new recruits on not rolling Gary Levox back into
the water if he's encountered on the beach.

Female country singers become more popular to bros. Because cutoffs.

Every package of Gold Bond medicated powder includes a download
of the latest Luke Bryan Spring Break album.

Wynonna's orange glow becomes more of a grapefruit color.

The amount of nighttime that Scott Borchetta has for feeding is reduced significantly.

Trailer starts bitching about his yard needing mowed instead
of Mississippi State having a horrible season.

...country music remix season.

Country Rap King Mikel Knight decreases the days between showers for his street teams to 7.

Some country music bigwig says something stupid. Wait, that's every season...

Colt Ford makes extra money blocking the sun from Jason Aldean's forehead.

Leann Rimes blends in with everyone else.

New tailgate songs.

You go to a big drunk redneck fight and a country music festival breaks out.

 Calm down Trailer. We get it, mowing sucks.


------
Almost all of these by Jeremy Harris

May 22, 2013

Lyrical Satirical: This Song is for Summer



This Song Is For Summer
©2013 FTM Satire

Aw hell yeah it's summer again
Time to drop a tailgate with your redneck friends
Text up some honeys in cut off jeans
Sugar shaker, donkadonk, know what I mean?
Crank some Lil Wayne in a country mood
Pass around some moonshine we bought at Whole Foods
Let's get rowdy like Hank would do
Hey, check out my new Duck Dynasty tattoo

Chorus
This song is for summer, y'all
Those three months after spring and just before fall
Have to spell it out cause my fans are dumber
Crank it on up in the summer summer summer


Yeehaw boys, yeah I got some swag
Got a Mud Life sticker and truck nutz that drag
Old farts hatin' cause I drop some rhymes
But that's how we do country in the summertime
Shotgun, old truck, some other cliche
Gather round the fire and I'll sing you some Kanye
Feet on the dash, let the night commence
Who cares if this tune doesn't make any sense?

This song is for summer, y'all
Those three months after spring and just before fall
Have to spell it out cause my fans are dumber
Crank it on up in the summer summer summer

Bridge (spoken)
And now a word from our sponsor:
It's hot out there while you're partying with your homeyz
Try something a little different!
Bud Light Lime.
It's Bud Light, with a twist!

Back to this song for summer, son
Put it out in March so it's a June number one
Have to spell it out cause my fans are dumber
Crank it on up in the summer summer summer

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