Forget Your Zodiac...

Overly Politically Correct Country Songs

No serious commentary from either side of the aisle, please. Just having fun with language. 

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Birthing Person, My Partner is Mentally Ill - The Judds

Wichita Lineperson - Glen Campbell

C-O-N-S-C-I-O-U-S U-N-C-O-U-P-L-I-N-G - Tammy Wynette

Quing of the Road - Roger Miller

Good Hearted Adult - Waylon Jennings

Caucasian Tonkin’ - Hank Williams

Xe Stopped Loving Xir Today - George Jones

Seven Latinx Angels - Willie Nelson, Ray Charles

Parent Tried - Merle Haggard

Native American Person Impacted by the Justice System - Tim McGraw

If the Afterlife Isn’t a Lot Like the Southeastern United States - Hank Jr.

I Am a Person of Constant Sorrow - The Soggy Bottom Boys

Folically Blessed Rural Resident - David Allan Coe

You Ain’t Womxn Enough - Loretta Lynn

Gestational Parents, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowpersons - Waylon & Willie

Monday Morning Memes: Hank Jr., Russell Dickerson, Roger Miller

 

Exclusive Song Premiere / Bill and the Belles / "The Corn Shuckin' Song"

Photo by Billie Wheeler

Got a fun song premiere today from Bill and the Belles. It’s a plain goofy Roger Miller-esque double entendre of a song and I think you’ll get a kick out of it. It’s a welcome reprieve from the always raging storms of life. RIYL: Roger Miller, Pokey LaFarge, Carolina Chocolate Drops. More information about the band and their forthcoming album Happy Again (out May 21) below the song player.

QUOTE from Kris Truelsen about the song

"A lot of things can be shucked and this is a song about just that. It was written in about five minutes which is probably the most organic songwriting experience I’ve ever had. What came out is undeniably ridiculous and fun! And we all like fun. I tried to harness all my Roger Miller Chi for this one. This was initially written as a jingle to be performed on my show Farm and Fun Time following a story delivered by a local chef who talked about creamed corn and corn shucking parties. Sounds filthy." 

Bill and the Belles · 07 Corn Shuckin Song

PRE-ORDER HAPPY AGAIN

lnk.to/happyagain

LINKS

https://www.facebook.com/BillandtheBelles

https://twitter.com/billandbelles?lang=en

https://www.instagram.com/billandthebelles/?hl=en

Happy Again isn’t exactly happy. But the delightfully deadpan new album from roots mainstays Bill and the Belles is full of life, humor, and tongue-in-cheek explorations of love and loss. Out May 21, 2021 on Ditty Boom Records (distribution and promotion by Free Dirt Service Co.), Happy Again marks a new chapter for the group by featuring eleven all-original songs penned by founding member Kris Truelsen. There’s no dancing around it: this album is about his divorce. But the group has a knack for saying sad things with a bit of an ironic smirk, pairing painful topics with a sense of release and relief. Anyone who’s been to one of their shows can attest that you leave feeling lighter and refreshed. The band often jokes that their setlists appear mournful and angry, but if you don’t listen to the words, you wouldn’t know it. “One of the darkest times of my life turned out to be one of the most creative,” says Truelsen. “I realized, ‘My life is chaos. I need to write about this shit.’” This personal loss turned out to be a creative boon for the band. Many of the songs were cranked out in just a few months, two were even written the night before they were recorded. This raw songcraft, along with the deft production touch of Teddy Thompson, son of Linda and Richard Thompson, who encouraged using only first or second takes, gives Happy Again an emotional punch that deepens with each listen.

The core of Happy Again is the foundational Bill and the Belles quartet sound featuring Truelsen on guitar, fiddler Kalia Yeagle, bassist Andrew Small, and banjo/banjo-uke player Helena Hunt, recently replaced by Aidan VanSuetendael. The album is also gently supported by Nick Falk on electric guitar and percussion and Don Eanes on piano and B3 Hammond. Early fans of the band were hooked by their singing, and Happy Again continues to deliver stellar vocal trio arrangements, honed by Yeagle, that nod toward groups like the Ronettes and The Shangri-Las. ​The band began as a project to explore the sounds between rural and urban music, between vaudeville and down home roots, but they’ve arrived somewhere wholly their own. They revel in the in-between: deeply engaged with the stringband tradition and eager to stretch those influences to contemporary settings. Happy Again is the latest chapter of that ongoing story: what happens when a stringband from East Tennessee lays down a session at Motown. It’s a welcome evolution that feels familiar and timeless.

With all their tongue-in-cheek quips, you’d think Bill and the Belles avoids the tough stuff, however, that’s far from the truth. “Never Be Happy Again” is a laundry list of existential woes, and “People Gonna Talk'' profiles some of the frustrations of small-town living. “Make It Look Easy” is both an anthem for apathy and a proper “fuck off” to those who’ve got something to say about your life choices. And of course there’s “Sobbin’ the Blues,” Truelsen’s homage to the ‘talking blues’ numbers of the past, neatly tied up with a moral-of-the-story twist. Tucked in amongst the grief and jubilation of Happy Again are some noteworthy oddballs, including two songs that began their lives as jingles on Farm and Fun Time (the band’s live variety radio show now syndicated on PBS, reaching over 20 million homes): “Bye Bye Bill” (a tale about a pale ale drinking whale) and the “The Corn Shuckin’ Song” (make of it what you will). The band presents these themes simply and playfully, inviting listeners to reframe their own burdens and look to the future. “This was one of the first times I felt like I was writing country songs like my heros that were actually from my own perspective,” says Truelsen. “I quickly realized it made sense for us to break the rules.” The group subverts expectations for a stringband, taking a page from some of the finest early country and rock songwriters that drifted happily between genres. Truelsen describes the band’s mission: “One of my ultimate goals is to write songs that are hard to classify in a certain time period. To transcend the now.”

Trailers for Sale or Rent

 

The Kentucky Headhunters: Top 10 Songs

By Bobby “Ten Pound Hammer” Peacock

The first album I ever owned was Pickin' on Nashville by the Kentucky Headhunters. After a long time having forgotten about them outside that album, a chance encounter with "Louisianna CoCo" on the radio in 2000 inspired me to go back and buy all of their other albums to that point. Through this, I found that they had made lots of mostly good music in that time frame. Then I kept finding new albums of theirs at Walmart, and was thrilled to find that they were still making good music. I keep up with their music to this day, and have even had some correspondence with them (they even helped me improve their Wikipedia article!). In short, if you want to know anything about a fine Southern rock band that most people only know for one song, then I'm your man. By far the hardest part was narrowing this list down to ten!

10. Lonely Nights

One of the true tests of a rock group is their ability to carry a ballad. And the Headhunters prove more than able on this one. Lyrics like "Lord have mercy on this broken heart / And forgive her for tearing me apart" may seem direct on paper, but Doug Phelps sings them with absolute conviction. And the instrumentation -- including not only the powerful rhythm section provided by Fred Young and Anthony Kenney, but also the horns and Hammond organ prominent on the corresponding album -- just enhance the mood even more.

9. My Daddy Was a Milkman

I think I'm partial to this song because it was the endcap to Pickin' on Nashville and always gave me that sense of finality. But it's also a damn fine song in its own right. A mostly straightforward guitar groove underlines a story you've probably heard before -- the husband is off to war, so the wife cheats on him with the milkman. But then two more details twist the story even further: the husband stayed in Vietnam with a woman he dated there, while the narrator, the sole heir to his dad's milk company, is now fabulously wealthy. It's a testament to their unconventional and humorous storytelling.

8. Chug-a-Lug

I've been a longtime fan of Roger Miller, and apparently so have they. Their take keeps all of the goofy charm of his tales of underage drinking -- even the scatting! -- and adds to it their distinct country-rock energy. They also have the advantage of actually being old enough to convey the story credibly, but still feisty enough to keep you interested and entertained. The Heads were no strangers to cover songs, and this song -- itself the centerpiece of a covers album -- is a testament to their ear for covers that are distinct and enjoyable.

7. Louisianna CoCo

As I mentioned in the intro, I heard this song once on the radio late at night and couldn't believe what I had just heard -- the Kentucky Headhunters? With a new song? I was immediately so taken by the novelty that I rushed to buy the album at Kmart, and I'm glad I did. Though unknown to me at the time, this was rhythm guitarist Richard Young's first turn on lead vocals, and he makes an exceptional first impression. His low growl and Doug's high howl combine with a maddeningly catchy guitar riff and a few unusual references (it's not often that you hear marijuana called "left-handed cigarettes") to make this far, far more than just your average "rock song about a hot girl."

6. Dry-Land Fish

As part of my "Louisianna CoCo"-driven reintroduction, I found this gem on the very same album. The only song to feature drummer Dale Gribble... I mean, Fred Young on lead vocals, it matches his goofy delivery perfectly to its laid-back, pseudo-psychedelic tales of incense, Led Zeppelin albums, and magic mushrooms. No, not those kind. The kind sung about in this song are morels, a perfectly edible strain and a childhood favorite. And this song is every bit as rootsy and tasty as the mushroom in question. 

5. Diane

Yet another off-kilter story. You'd think it'd end when he reveals that Diane's dumped him for another man, but instead, the story continues with the narrator being robbed (which fails because Diane took everything he had), and goes even further with him contemplating suicide in his living room. The dark, moody groove, especially the ringing end chords and even a gong, are just further proof of their ability to find something different and run with it. This is probably one of their furthest ventures away from country-rock, but they more than have the chops to pull it off.

4. Everyday People

The opening track on the aforementioned Soul finds the Headhunters with their only featured vocalist to date (outside two full-on collab albums with Chuck Berry pianist Johnnie Johnson); namely, Louisville-based R&B singer Robbie Bartlett. Open-ended but timely observations like "The workin' man just can't win / No one's on his side" are sung by Doug with unbridled passion and sincerity, and Bartlett matches her own soulful, gritty tone flawlessly to the content. Some fine drumming and a layer of Hammond organ certainly don't hurt in elevating this fine working-man anthem.

3. Dumas Walker

Even if you don't know who the eponymous Dumas Walker was (for the record, a marbles champion who owned a convenience store that the Headhunters frequented in their youth), it's that distinct detail that adds to the often-used country trope of just having a good time with your friends. And it's probably for that reason that this one is such a cornerstone of '90s country playlists in spite of its low chart peak -- it's just a damn good country party song with an infectious energy that still holds up 30+ years later. Also, I've actually had Ski (a local brand of citrus-flavored pop), and just like the Headhunters themselves, it's a local favorite that I want more to discover.

2. Crazy Jim

Another in the ever-increasing number of songs sung by Richard, this one tells of an eccentric man who was not loved by the community, but still "was from a land where they never learned to hate". One of his eccentricities was handing out rocks to people as a reminder of being rich in spirit, not in money. The portrayal of this unusual yet angelic character is touching enough on its own, but when you realize that "Crazy Jim" was Richard and Fred Young's own father, who died shortly before the album's release, that's when the absolute emotion in Richard's grainy voice really hits you.

1. Great Acoustics

I always cap these lists off with odd picks, don't I? But there's just something about this song that seems to hit all of the band's strengths at once. A gentle memorable melody with a soaring chorus. Martin's impeccably sharp, bluesy guitar tone. The warmer, yet no less gritty soft end of Doug's vocal range. Subtle flourishes of mandolin and Hammond organ that slot seamlessly into the punchy Southern rock surroundings. But best of all is the revelation that the narrator's woman is cheating on him with another woman, and it's treated no differently than if it were just another man. It's just that one little extra touch that turns this song from merely great to outstanding, and makes this the kind of song that I would love to see find a wider audience.

Honorable mentions: Dixie Lullaby, Jukebox Full of Blues, Big Mexican Dinner, Skip a Rope, Jessico, Take These Chains from My Heart, Only Daddy That'll Walk the Line... I could go on

Cody Johnson / "Husbands & Wives" (Roger Miller) / Paste Studios

5 New Willie Nelson Parody Album Covers

WWE Country Reaction Gifs 29: Wrestlemania Week Edition

How Florida-Georgia Line hides its

lack of talent in concert

 

Toby Keith, circa 2029

"Honestly, Walker Hayes is

a modern day Roger Miller"

"But women don't like to listen

to women country singers"

Would you ever say something nice

about Sam Hunt's music?

When you decide to leave your

country band for the ministry

If you're f--king listening to The Lacs

How would you describe

Kacey Musgraves' Golden Hour?

Did you say Blackberry Smoke has a new album coming out this Friday?

When the person who played FGL

on the jukebox looks over at you

Monday Morning Memes: Kane Brown, FGL, Buck Owens, etc.

Game of Thrones: Country Reaction Gifs

You're a huge country fan too?

Like Old Dominion and Sam Hunt...

 To those who think FTM is crass and overly negative:

"Alan Jackson killed country music. And covered Akon in concert"

When a pop-country fan awakens to the wonders 

of country music they don't play on the radio

When Jon Snow says he knows his country, 

but can't name a Roger Miller song

You seriously think Thomas Rhett is 

a better vocalist than Chris Stapleton?

When you're late to the show and Isbell is about to go on...

Country Fantasy Football Team Names 2016

This is the last weekend for fantasy football drafts before the NFL season starts next week. 

Here are some ridiculous and punny, if not funny, country music related names you could 

use for fantasy teams. Or add your own in the comments!

___________________________

Are You Sure Peyton Done It This Way?

Band of Broncos

Odell Where Art Thou

Gurley in a Country Song

Rollerskating Buffalo Herd

Gronk on a Plane

Real Men Love Jameis

Jordy On My Mind

Beatin' Philly and Kickin' Ass

Different for Cowboys

Manning Doesn't Play Anymore

Devonta Wanna Tonight

Dez He Love You

Me and Bobby Griffin III

A Good Year for DeAndre

Finally Sunday

Better as Amari

Quaker City Seahawks

Dak Where I Come From

Le'Veon on a Jet Plane

Sunday Mornin' Music: Trisha Yearwood Covers Roger Miller

If Dallas Davidson Had Written These Country Classics

Guitars, Cadillacs

And it's DJs, Chevys jacked, EDM music
Muddy, muddy fields that my tires roam
Yeah, my DJs, Chevys jacked, EDM music
And sexting hotties pictures of my dong

 

Old Dogs, Children and Watermelon Wine

Old trucks drive you round the square even when you're drunk as hell
God bless little cutoffs them girls are shakin' so well
That's pretty much the deepest stuff that's ever on my mind
Yeah old trucks and cutoffs and Kroger cherry shine

 

King of the Road

Raptor with chromed out vents
Custom seat - leather bench
Bluetooth and intake kit
Brand new Powerplant winch
Yo, it's..four hundred horses strong
Drive your girl right out of her thong
I'm the man drivin' with a lean
King of the bros

 

Forever and Ever Amen

If you wonder how long we'll be grindin'
Well, just crank up R Kelly's 12 Play
I'm gonna tap it for minutes, and minutes and minutes, lil bae

 

Hello Darlin'

What's up baby
How you doin'?
Those jeans sure are tight
So shake that money
Like I love to see

Have a cold one
Are you horny
Like I am tonight
Drop the tailgate
And play some Aldean

Country Bumper Stickers 8

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