Showing posts with label Neal McCoy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Neal McCoy. Show all posts

Sep 10, 2020

Famous Protest Songs Updated for 2020

Fear not, this picks on everybody.

Watch the NFL My Ass (I Won't Watch the NFL)

A Can of Soup’s Gonna Fall

American Twittiot

All She Wants to Do is Tik Tok

The Cancellation Will Not Be Televised

Agent Orange Man Bad

Influencer Blues (Make Me Wanna Holler)

The Lonesome Death of Mr. Peanut

If You Tolerate Masks, Your Children Will Be Next

Walking on the Offended Side of Me

Defund Tha Police

Not Ready to Make Rice (Uncle Ben’s)

Meme is Murder

Working Class MAGA

Free Joe Exotic

Get Up Stand Up (is Ableist)

Mercy Mercy Me (The Quarantine)

Another Pylon in the Wall

We Shall Be Socialist

Trump Boat Parade (Bulls on Parade)

Biden in the Wind

Murder Hornet Most Foul

The Night They Drove Hobby Lobby Down

Dec 21, 2018

Neal McCoy's "Merry Christmas (I'll Put My Knee Up Your Ass if You Say Happy Holidays)" Selling Poorly

90s country superstar Neal McCoy released the seasonal song "Merry Christmas (I'll Put My Knee Up Your Ass if You Say Happy Holidays)" in November and has yet to see any country radio airplay. The jovial anthem, which bemoans the war on Christmas, is also seeing poor sales and negligible streaming numbers. 

McCoy told us that while he is disappointed in the stats so far, he feels like the song will be one of those that becomes a standard for years to come. "Like my buddy Aaron Tippin says, you've got to stand for something or you'll fall for anything, and that's what this song does." smiled the still boyishly handsome McCoy, who earlier this year took a stand against football players taking a knee with the similarly un-listened-to "Take a Knee My Ass." 

Neal's current song features the chorus:
"It's Merry Christmas
and I'm here to say
I'll put my knee up your ass
if you say Happy Holidays
Praise Jesus!
If you don't, you can leave this country and stay"

Country program directors tell us that the song has tested poorly. One anonymous PD told us "Despite the message resonating with many of our listeners, the word 'ass' just doesn't go over well with our audience, unless you're talking about a woman's sexy, daisy-duke-clad, tan-lined backside, that is. Also, Neal is old."

At press time, McCoy was in the studio recording his next topical country song, "My Ass Will Build the Wall Myself."

Sep 7, 2018

More Nike Memes: Ray Wylie Hubbard, Neal McCoy, Aaron Tippin

I was done with these memes, but Jeremy came up with the Aaron Tippin idea, so here we are...

Dec 22, 2017

The 10 Worst Country Songs of 2017

We've spent all of 2017 making fun of these and other songs, so there's little else 
to do but rank the worst. No need for further criticisms or a thesaurus full of 
disgusting descriptive terms. Nothing fancy. Okay, a little fancy...

Dec 14, 2017

Little Known Facts: Christmas 2017 Edition

Little Known Facts: Christmas 2017 Edition
Little Known Facts: Christmas 2017 Edition
Little Known Facts: Christmas 2017 Edition

If Cole Swindell ran outside naked in a snowstorm, he'd be invisible

Luke Bryan never hangs his stockings by the fireplace because 
he’d feel silly wearing his garter belt without them

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Brantley Gilbert realized he couldn’t count that high

Neal McCoy's "Take a Knee, My Ass (I Won't Take a Knee)" was originally about 
Game of Thrones' Jon Snow and was titled "Bend the Knee, My Arse (I Shan't Bend the Knee)"

If Sturgill Simpson doesn’t do a Farce The Music 
interview we will start a rumor he punched Santa

There is a 100% chance Kenny Chesney will be a fan 
of this year's college football playoff champion

The previous fact will be recycled annually for eternity 

Justin Moore has lost 75% of his fame since Trailer stopped photoshopping him 
on shelves around Christmas  (Editor's note: or Scotty McCreery, whichever)

Sturgill Simpson recently punched Santa at a mall. More details to come. 

All pictures of Shooter Jennings on a shelf are not Photoshopped 

Gary Levox’s New Year’s resolution is to be less awkward in photos

The 2017 Time Magazine Person of the Year is every woman 
that has ever recorded ‘Baby it’s Cold Outside’

David Lee Murphy has a song on the country chart. No really, I’m serious about that one.

Asking for more women on country radio and getting Bebe Rexha is like 
asking for a Washington outsider to be president and getting... never mind 

Every time "Humble and Kind" plays on the radio, Spade Cooley rolls in his grave


All but 3 of these by Jeremy Harris

Mar 21, 2017

Bad 90s Country Memes

*The songs are bad. Maybe the memes are too.


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