Showing posts with label Taste of Country. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Taste of Country. Show all posts

Jun 16, 2023

This SHOCKING! Garth Brooks Clickbait is Carefully Worded to Infuriate 50% of You

This'll get blood pressure rising!
Farce the Music today posted this clickbait article about Garth Brooks. It says nothing new you can’t read anywhere else, but it doesn’t really matter. This next sentence have doesn’t to make sense any and you’ll still glance through for long enough to make ad impressions or whatever. This is the introductory paragraph that grabs either Conservatives or traditional country fans by the balls and twists. Take that!

{Here are several ads in a row so you’re not quite sure if the story is already over or not. Some of you will leave at this point, but we got your click.}

BUT IT CONTINUES!!! Garth did a thing. What thing?, you ask. Perhaps it was about BEER! 

BEER BEER FRIENDS IN LOW PLACES BEER TRANS DIVERSITY A-HOLES BEER!!!!! Can you imagine the gall it took him to say or do whatever this article is about???? 

This article doesn’t even have enough words to count as an article, does it? Not my problem. Did you hear about GARTH PANTYHOSE WAYLON GARTH FINGER****ING???????? HOLY SHIT THAT’S CRAZY! This’ll definitely play out poorly in the Facebook comments section with friends tagged, John Rich mentioned, and several fights planned that would actually take place if the combatants weren’t in Texas and North Carolina respectively, which is too far to drive for a fist fight, IMO. Regardless, it’s more ad revenue on FB for just mentioning GARTH GARTH GARTH. ALSO CHRIS GAINES IS BACK!

{Another ad for one of our sister websites or possibly Bass Pro Shop or AARP, depending on what the algorithm determines is best targeted to you.}

And here’s where we remind you about that time Garth did that other thing you vaguely remember. HA HA SERIAL KILLER GARTH WHERE ARE THE BODIES, and here’s a screen shot of that creepy video he did and a link to another similar story but if you keep scrolling it’ll go to some more Garth or Miranda stories anyway!

Here is the clever quip to end the article, followed by a cutesy reaction gif or some shit.

At press time, Garth Brooks was [check back in 30 minutes for the next story about him].

{Animal attacking a dumb person at a national park video.}




Mar 30, 2022

Top 10 Headlines Taste of Country Hasn’t Posted Yet


10. Scott McCreery enjoys a round of Scrabble with his wife

9. Brantley Gilbert reveals which gun tattoo his kids will get first

8. Remember when Shania Twain busted her ass at the CMT Awards?

7. Thomas Rhett saves a turtle stuck in the road

6. Adorable! Gabby Barrett shows off her Easter outfit

5. Remember when Walker Hayes hit #1 with “Fancy Like?”

4. Luke Bryan accidentally pranks Luke Bryan on American Idol

3. Remember when we were a reputable source for country music news? Neither do we.

2. Keith Urban seen staring lovingly up at wife Nicole Kidman

1. Sam Hunt reveals his favorite attributes in a mistress

Sep 29, 2017

Taste of Country Readers Vote "Body Like a Back Road" Best Thing to Ever Happen Ever

In a recent poll, readers of the popular mainstream country website, Taste of Country, voted Sam Hunt's song "Body Like a Back Road" the best thing to ever happen, like ever. This in addition to the song's all-time record for weeks at #1 on the Billboard Hot Country Chart add to the hit song's growing list of very important accolades.

Eschewing momentous occasions generally regarded as eternally significant by large swaths of the population, TOC's readers instead picked Mr. Hunt's bouncy ode to a lover's body as the greatest single thing in the history of mankind. 

Also included in the poll was ratification of the 19th Amendment, giving women the right to vote. A momentous occasion yes, but not nearly as huge as this hunk's silly singalong about a curvy chick. Rather ironic in the context, but none-the-less.

Another loser in TOC's poll was the birth of Jesus Christ. A full 23% more Taste of Country readers believed that a song including the phrase "The way she fit in them blue jeans, she don't need no belt" was of greater import to their lives than God sending his Son to earth to save them from their sins. 

Finishing up second-to-last in the poll was America's independence. While this was certainly a great moment in history, Taste of Country's readers felt that Sam Hunt's vapid pop song masquerading as country was of far greater meaning to their lives than the establishment of the free country that most of them hail from.

Some critics will be swift to dismiss the results of this poll and deride its voters, but sometimes a song comes along and touches its listeners on their hips like honey and won't let go. Who are we to belittle Sam's latest victory and the fans who have bestowed this massive honor upon him?

At press time, Taste of Country had just posted a hard-hitting exposé entitled Country Hunks and What They Feed Their Dogs.

**fake news**

May 23, 2017

Questionable Ad Placement!

Sent in by a source that wishes to remain anonymous.


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