Someday someone will make another good Thanksgiving movie, right?
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Someday someone will make another good Thanksgiving movie, right?
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10. That Babs didn’t use too much seasoning on the boiled chicken at the supper party last night
9. That Dan + Shay didn’t play the CMA’s so they didn’t have to accidentally hear any twang, fiddles, or steel guitars this year
8. That vodka is the same color as water
7. That their neighbors who listened to rap music and grilled on the front porch moved out
6. 20% discounts at the loaded tea place because they forced their son to work there
5. That their name isn’t actually Karen, because that would be too on the nose
4. That both Dan and Shay are happily married; they were concerned they might be gay so they’d have to stop liking them
3. That Jerry got the Christmas bonus early so they can book their 29th Disney vacation for next year
2. That wooden decorative signs with cliches on them are 50% off at Hobby Lobby this week
1. That their husband agreed to stop listening to scary Cody Childers or Waylon Haggard music in the house after the threat of no nookie
10. That mainstream country is so bad, Morgan sounds almost like Hank Jr. in comparison
9. That “Let’s Go Morgan” kinda sounds like “Let’s Go Brandon”
8. Thanks to Autofill, you only have to remember how to spell your name once
7. That the mullet trend has outlasted its welcome (they’ve had once since pre-k)
6. That their digestive system has finally healed after that ‘drinking bleach’ incident
5. High inflation makes stolen catalytic converters more valuable
4. The burn scars from dropping a frozen turkey in the fryer last year are finally fading
3. The “Carolina squat” is only banned in the Carolinas
2. That they aren’t famous enough to have their racial slur videos made public
1. McRib is back