The Crud Report: November 2022

Jerry Lee Didn't Play by the Rules

Mixed Music Action, Vol. 1 No. 2

By Kevin Broughton

This weekend marks another UFC pay per view event, so we check in with Brother Jeremy Pinnell. Fresh (well, maybe not so fresh) off a Thursday night gig opening for Dale Watson in The Bluff City, our partner was a little sassy this morning. (Note to self: don’t hassle a dude about deadlines if he could choke you unconscious.)

Let’s mix it up. 

Since last time, I’ve had a chance to listen to The Wilder Blue's self-titled album, and Ian Noe's River Fools and Mountain Saints. These seem like some hot rocks to me. Your thoughts?

I absolutely love that Ian Noe record. He’s an amazing songwriter. I haven’t had too much time to dig into The Wilder Blue but the harmonies are killer and they sound like some talented folks. It’s also 9:00 a.m. and we’re in Memphis so I’m a little out of it. I’ll apologize for my answers after being berated by you last night for a slow turn around.

Moving right along…Say you're a presenter at The Americana Awards. You make what you think is a harmless remark about a nominee's wife's bald head (my hypotheticals are laced with irony.) Husband approaches you, winding up for an open-hand slap. What's your best jiu-jitsu counter move, knowing you have to keep the show flowing?

Hahaha! If I saw said guy approaching, I’d probably close the distance. I’d maybe shoot a double leg and go side control to mount.  I’d control the position until security came or just try to keep distance. But I feel like that is a pretty threatening act which would call for immediate action.

I wasn't crazy about this UFC 273 card at first, but you kinda changed my mind. I think the Korean Zombie is kind of a weird matchup for Volkonovski. That could be a good fight, with the Zombie's length. The rematch of Yan vs. Sterling ought to be lit – given the controversial way Sterling “won” the belt. 

And Burns/Chimaev has potential for a great fight. What are you looking forward to in this PPV?

I was stoked on this card as soon as I saw it. Volkonovski is a banger but Zombie is a murderer. I think everyone knows Sterling doesn’t deserve that belt; he said it without saying it when they put it around him. His pace in the last fight was awful. I’m not a fan. Yan is obviously a way more measured fighter.

Also, Chimaev - Burns is gonna be a war. There’s so much hype with Kazmat right now and, I’m really stoked on that. 

If you were able to competently play one instrument besides acoustic guitar, what would it be, and why?

I’d probably play piano, if I could be a modern-day Mickey Gilley or Jerry Lee. Maybe you can buy me some lessons for Christmas.

Just a Few Are Chosen

Some have said the Charlie referenced in the song is Charley Pride or Charlie Feathers, but most sources believe it to be Charlie Rich.

5 New Random Country Parody Album Covers

 *foul language warning*

6 Rockabilly Parody Album Covers ft. Elvis, Wanda Jackson, etc.

 *foul language warning*

Sunday Mornin' Music / Jerry Lee Lewis / "In the Garden"

The Music That Influenced Luke Bryan

6 New 60s/70s Country Parody Album Covers

*Foul Language Warning*

Straight From the Bottle: A Review of Gethen Jenkins’ Western Gold

By Travis Erwin

A throaty, whisky burnt growls kicks off Gethen Jenkins new album, Western Gold, (out today) and straight off you know what to expect, as the opening track is drenched in Honkytonk nostalgia. Call it a throwback or call it traditional, this album is pure old, drinking-your-heartache-away country, with a dose of pissed- off I don’t give a shit served as a chaser.

Born in West Virginia and raised on steady pour of Outlaw and Honkytonk tunes, Gethen is also influenced by his time as a Marine as well as his two decades of life in California, and every last one of these influences shows up at one time or another on this album.

Slide guitar goodbyes and dancehall defiance define the first track, “Bottle In My Hand.” A barroom anthem to drinking her away that gives way to the more melancholy, “Heartache Time.” This second track captures the emotion after that first round of I don’t need her bravado. The booze infused emotion continues with “Whiskey Bound,” which continues the up and down ride through the emotional train wreck of life.

The album finds a new energy with “Maintenance Man,” a tune that is the musical equivalent to a Penthouse Forum letter. The rebellious tone continues even on the slower tempoed “Restless Ways,” and “Waiting” which come back-to-back in the middle of the of these eleven tracks. A pair of songs those are both reflective and reaching in nature.

 “Western Gold,” kicks off the back half of the album, and as the title track, it carries the banner for a collection of songs that speaks of the fleeting nature of humanity. This particular tune does so with an unflinching honesty that says, “Yeah I’m leaving, but hey we are both here now so let’s make the most of it.”

Lord knows it ain’t easy loving the restless kind, and “Strength Of A Woman,” takes the emotion of that and distills it down for those who dare try to tame the wild wind of a rambling man.

Imagine David Allan Coe penning a song specifically for Jerry Lee Lewis and you will have a solid idea of how “Basket Case” sounds long before you hear the ninth track of the album.

“While I’m Away,” returns to that fleeting nature of relationships, with an ode to uncertainty and insecurity. Easily the most vulnerable of any song on the album, it is also perhaps the most well-written. The last track, “Me My Bottle And Nothing But Time” recaptures the IDGAF spirit of the beginning of the album, with yet another alcohol soaked set of lyrics that scream barroom jukebox.

Like a lone shot of whiskey, the collection of songs that is, Gethen Jenkin’s Western Gold feels rowdy and raw when consumed singularly, but taken as a group, that burning edge is not nearly as prevalent, leaving you to notice the complex subtleties in both flavor and emotion. 

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Travis Erwin is a fiction writer, lyricists, and music critic. A native Texan Travis now calls the West Coast home. His work can be found anywhere books are sold, and you can reach him on twitter @traviserwin or via comment on this post.

Planes, Trains & Automobiles: Country Reaction Gifs

Every time I see the country top 40 charts

Having a conversation with a typical Brantley Gilbert fan like...

If you think Luke Bryan is ever going "back to his roots"

♫Runnin' from the cold up in New England♫

If you want Farce the Music to stop saying such mean

things about your favorite singer...

When Jerry Lee comes on

When the driver gets to DJ, 

and he puts it on The Highway Sirius XM

It's almost this awkward when you catch yourself 

liking a FGL song...

The Bros She Told You Not to Worry About

70s Country Parody Album Covers: Merle, Charley, Anne, etc.

Don't Luke the Jukebox

 "Don't Luke The Jukebox"
(Parody of Alan Jackson's "Don't Rock the Jukebox")

Don't Luke the jukebox
I'd rather hear some Coe
My ears ain't ready
For a dancing bro
I don't feel like shakin'
Or kickin' up some dust
So don't Luke the jukebox
Cause he really sucks

Before you punch that button
Best be thinking twice
You got a cranky hillbilly
Givin' mad dog eyes
I'm in the mood for country
Not that new school mess
Before you crash my party
Could I make one request

Don't Luke the jukebox
I'd rather hear some Strait
Son, I've been drinking
And I might get irate
I don't feel like shakin'
Or kickin' up some dust
So don't Luke the jukebox
Cause he really sucks

Man I like hip-hop
I like rock and roll
But when Luke Bryan starts singing
Just don't hear any soul
Ain't nothin' like Stapleton
Waylon or Jerry Lee
Before you waste your money brother
Do one thing for me

Don't Luke the jukebox
I'd rather hear some Cash
I don't like fighting
But I'd whip your ass
I might be a buzzkill
But I'mma tell you what
Don't Luke the jukebox
Cause he really sucks

And yes, of course, we have an actual t-shirt like that for you to purchase if so desired. :)

There's also a black ink design.

Sunday Mornin' Music: Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis, Roy Orbison And Carl Perkins

Sunday Mornin' Music: Jerry Lee Lewis and Mickey Gilley