They All Begin to Look Like Movie Stars

 RIP Mickey Gilley

Mixed Music Action, Vol. 1 No. 2

By Kevin Broughton

This weekend marks another UFC pay per view event, so we check in with Brother Jeremy Pinnell. Fresh (well, maybe not so fresh) off a Thursday night gig opening for Dale Watson in The Bluff City, our partner was a little sassy this morning. (Note to self: don’t hassle a dude about deadlines if he could choke you unconscious.)

Let’s mix it up. 

Since last time, I’ve had a chance to listen to The Wilder Blue's self-titled album, and Ian Noe's River Fools and Mountain Saints. These seem like some hot rocks to me. Your thoughts?

I absolutely love that Ian Noe record. He’s an amazing songwriter. I haven’t had too much time to dig into The Wilder Blue but the harmonies are killer and they sound like some talented folks. It’s also 9:00 a.m. and we’re in Memphis so I’m a little out of it. I’ll apologize for my answers after being berated by you last night for a slow turn around.

Moving right along…Say you're a presenter at The Americana Awards. You make what you think is a harmless remark about a nominee's wife's bald head (my hypotheticals are laced with irony.) Husband approaches you, winding up for an open-hand slap. What's your best jiu-jitsu counter move, knowing you have to keep the show flowing?

Hahaha! If I saw said guy approaching, I’d probably close the distance. I’d maybe shoot a double leg and go side control to mount.  I’d control the position until security came or just try to keep distance. But I feel like that is a pretty threatening act which would call for immediate action.

I wasn't crazy about this UFC 273 card at first, but you kinda changed my mind. I think the Korean Zombie is kind of a weird matchup for Volkonovski. That could be a good fight, with the Zombie's length. The rematch of Yan vs. Sterling ought to be lit – given the controversial way Sterling “won” the belt. 

And Burns/Chimaev has potential for a great fight. What are you looking forward to in this PPV?

I was stoked on this card as soon as I saw it. Volkonovski is a banger but Zombie is a murderer. I think everyone knows Sterling doesn’t deserve that belt; he said it without saying it when they put it around him. His pace in the last fight was awful. I’m not a fan. Yan is obviously a way more measured fighter.

Also, Chimaev - Burns is gonna be a war. There’s so much hype with Kazmat right now and, I’m really stoked on that. 

If you were able to competently play one instrument besides acoustic guitar, what would it be, and why?

I’d probably play piano, if I could be a modern-day Mickey Gilley or Jerry Lee. Maybe you can buy me some lessons for Christmas.

Andy Griffith Show Country Reaction Gifs 2

An ugly girl, well, she'll leave you too

but then again who really cares?

Warren Zeiders, you may not even have an album out yet, but

What would you do if everybody in the world was a Walker Hayes fan?

When the DJ on the mainstream station says more country is coming up, but it never comes up

When you catch your kid listening to Luke Bryan

When somebody explains to me how copying pop trends from three years ago is country music evolving

Maybe the men get better looking at closing time too

Minding my business in a waiting room when somebody's Florida-Georgia Line ringtone goes off

There's more old drunks than there are old doctors

More Monday Memes: FGL, Luke Combs, Johnny Paycheck

6 Urban Cowboy Parody Album Covers

(Artists who were on the Urban Cowboy soundtrack or did songs in that style/era.)

Top 10 Biggest Jerks in 80s Country

Let’s dispense with the introductory paragraph. You know the deal by now. Jerks!

10. William Lee Golden (of the Oak Ridge Boys)

Had women who touched his beard arrested. When fans requested for him to ‘say something!’ In his deep voice, he just whispers “I’m not the deep voiced one, dumbass.” 

9. John Conlee

The former mortician talked about embalming bodies in great detail between songs in concert. Refused to perform “Rose Colored Glasses” until all the women on the front row showed their boobs. 

8. Juice Newton

First person to utter “country music has to evolve.” Once spit her gum in Crystal Gayle’s hair.

7. Lee Greenwood

Would only go onstage if he was announced as “His excellency, the most patriotic American to have ever lived.” Chews loudly; can’t stand the sound of other people chewing.

6. Hank Jr.

Hit on women with the line “Do you wanna be one of my rowdy friends?” Performed exactly 2 songs sober during the whole decade (this may be true). Used bandmates shirts when the tour bus ran out of toilet paper.

5. Rosanne Cash

Insisted on driving her own tour bus so she could tailgate Yugos. Dipped during interviews. Tour rider sheet only said “I’m not going to tell you; you should just know.” 

4. Mark Miller (of Sawyer Brown)

Frequently trashed his hotel room and had to be reminded that he owned the bus he was sleeping in. Came on stage with a forty ounce and threw the bottle into the crowd when it was finished. Sang a dirty version of “Out Goin’ Cattin’” if he noticed lots of kids in the audience. 

3. Mickey Gilley

Rode the bull at his bar on ‘easy’ level, but claimed to be the champ. Constantly clicked his pen at business meetings. Called George Strait a “Mickey Gilley wannabe” to his face. 

2. Janie Fricke

Referred to herself as the “Frickin’ Queen of Country.” Never returned casserole dishes she borrowed. Sprayed the crowd with Bartles & Jaymes wine coolers during her encore. Tipped hairstylists with unsold merch.

1. John Schneider

Open hand slapped a fan who said “for a country singer, you’re a pretty good actor.” In real life, always drove way under the speed limit. Ate Funyuns before every face to face interview. Accused Waylon of riding his coattails. Anyone he considered less attractive than him was instructed to maintain a 6 foot distance. 

The Source of Your Pain

YeeHawChella

More Monday Morning Memes: Mickey Gilley, Joe Diffie, Kane Brown

70s Country Parody Album Covers: Merle, Charley, Anne, etc.

Sunday Mornin' Music: Jerry Lee Lewis and Mickey Gilley