Showing posts with label Grand Ole Opry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Grand Ole Opry. Show all posts

Mar 8, 2019

Some Guy You've Never Heard of Makes Opry Debut

by Trailer - Originally posted on Country California, March 01, 2012 

Some country singer you have never heard of, much less heard any music from, makes his Opry debut Friday night. 

Hailing from a fond-memory-inducing podunk on the Kentucky horizon, the random male country performer reportedly grew up listening to the Opry on the radio. He also visited the Opry several times, and idolized quite a few artists who graced that stage. He also wears a cowboy hat and customized leather belts. 

Whoever this guy is released his debut single in late December and has seen it rise steadily into the lower 30s on the charts. Tall, blue-eyed, and handsome, the unidentified singer is said to possess a vocal style reminiscent of that one guy with the tight jeans. 

Nondescript vocalist guy is currently in the studio with an in-demand hit producer and the engineer of several forgettably popular recent releases. The tepid - but commercially viable - debut album, with a cover photo of the dude standing in front of a weathered brick wall, is expected to be released in early summer. 

This person's Opry debut will be on a bill with Mel Tillis and Montgomery Gentry as well as a high school glee club and a token bluegrass band. 

At press time, a rumor was swirling that there may be a major announcement or invitation of some sort for this featureless, though quite fetching, country music singer when he takes the stage. 

Mar 6, 2019

Aug 24, 2018

Dustin Lynch Inducted Into Pro Football Hall of Fame

Despite never having playing in the NFL, singer Dustin Lynch was recently inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Lynch smartly donned his gold jacket and ring at the enshrinement ceremony and gave a rousing acceptance speech.

"It is such a great honor to stand alongside the giants of this sport I wasn't involved with and walk in the shadows of the legends." said Lynch, beaming his million dollar smile. "Jerry Rice, Joe Montana, Lawrence Taylor… I can't believe my name and bust will be displayed in the company of such unforgettable talent. I may not have ever thrown a pass, participated in a single training camp, or even held that wire water tray thingie, but I gladly accept this completely unjustifiable recognition." 

Attendees of the ceremony looked befuddled, but remained respectful as Lynch thanked all the people who hadn't helped him become a renowned football player. Randy Moss and Brian Urlacher cast confused glances at one another repeatedly through the speech, while Brian Dawkins kept shrugging and rolling his eyes. 

Though Lynch has not laced up football pants since the 8th grade, the Hall of Fame believed him worthy for reasons unbeknownst to anyone but the board. Dustin's career football stats as a middle school running back were rather subpar. He boasted 204 total yards on 94 carries, one touchdown, and seven fumbles. 

Still, Lynch feels he will be a valuable asset to the Hall. "I have strong appeal with young women and teen girls, so I hope to bring more eyes to this great sport that I never took part in." he told us. 

Lynch was recently asked to become a member of the Grand Ole Opry, Nashville's hallowed hall of country music, despite being a pop singer, so gaining undeserved honors seems to be his thing. 

Terrell Owens had no comment on Lynch's induction.


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