Showing posts with label Koe Wetzel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Koe Wetzel. Show all posts

Dec 10, 2019

What Your Favorite Album of 2019 Says About You


Lizzo - Truth Hurts
You started listening to this so your daughter would think you’re cool. She does not.

Thomas Rhett - Center Point Road
You can talk for hours on end without ever saying anything of importance. You go to church just so you look cute on Instagram once a week.

Billie Eilish - When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?
Your mom started listening to Lizzo so you’d think she’s cool. You don’t, but mostly because she won’t let you have blue hair or date a 23 year old.

Vampire Weekend - Father of the Bride
You’re at the age that you know what yuppies felt like in the 90s. You drive a Volvo.

Miranda Lambert - Wildcard
You don’t get drunk on the weekends as much anymore, but only because the hangovers really hurt in your mid-30s. You’ve had non-physical fights with your significant other so loud that the police were called …more than once.

George Strait - Honky-Tonk Time Machine
Country radio is not for you, but you don’t care if other people like it. You iron your jeans and only have one tattoo you got in the Navy.

Cody Jinks - The Wanting
Country radio is not for you, and f*ck anybody who likes it. You’re still wearing the same jeans from Saturday and have at least two skull tattoos.

Mitchell Tenpenny - Telling All My Secrets
You don’t know what year it is and have the shittiest taste in music possible. 

Koe Wetzel - Harold Saul High
You have a jacked up truck with exhaust stacks, fight with your girlfriend in public, and are drunk right now. But you still think you’re better than those douchebags who listen to Florida-Georgia Line.

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This is satire. Don't take it seriously.
Also, if your favorite wasn't here, there will probably be another edition.
Idea stolen from Medium.

Nov 7, 2019

Cannonball Run Country Reaction Gifs

 When you stop and take a piss at the Florida-Georgia Line

When she says "You can come with me to the Luke Bryan concert, or you can GTFO."

♫ ♬ With the blood from my body, I could start my own still ♫ ♬

♫ ♬ There's a stranger in my house
Somebody here that I can't see ♫ ♬

When Burt says he'd rather listen to ABBA than the George Jones you've got on

After you shake hands with a hick-hop fans, it's best to inoculate yourself


♫ ♬ If he asks me to blow
I'mma tell his punk ass to take me to jail ♫ ♬

Aug 29, 2019

College Football Country Reaction Gifs

Football's back!
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Red solo cup, I fill you up, it's time to party

When Koe Wetzel says a bad word and you're offended

Every new Whiskey Myers song I hear

Then a shotgun to shoulder
I thought of the fourth of July

"Can you comment on Kane Brown's CMA nomination snub?"

Boom! it was over just like that 

And the thunder rolls...

When you're so stoned at the bluegrass concert, you don't even care there's a guy blocking your view

When somebody says Waylon is overrated

Jan 31, 2019

Clerks Country Reaction Gifs

How you line dance to a modern country song

Do you love The Steel Woods' new album?

What do you call people who drive around blasting Kane Brown?

Koe Wetzel just calls it Tuesday Morning

Walking in after you just scored Tyler Childers tickets

Your opinion on the country charts?

When Jason Aldean fans make fun of Thomas Rhett fans

Why do you listen to so much Ruston Kelly?


(Gifs from Clerks I & II)

May 17, 2018

Country Doppelgängers: Evan Felker, Clint Black, Koe Wetzel, etc.

 Roy Rogers looked like Clint Black's dad

 Turnpike Troubadour Evan Felker
and actor/Jackass Johnny Knoxville

 Jordan Davis is a less cool 
Opie of Sons of Anarchy (Ryan Hurst)

 Kyle Park and "yodel boy" Mason Ramsey

Parker McCollum and Backstreet Boy, Nick Carter

Koe Wetzel is Mark Henry without the melanin and muscles

Lee Greenwood looks like ...aw man

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