May 15, 2021
May 14, 2021
Apr 7, 2021
Most of these “jerk” lists have been surprising. This one, not as much. Rock stars are well known for ego and snotty behavior. Even though they may put off good vibes online or when meeting fans, here are some of Southern Rock’s most egregious offenders.
10. Gregg Allman
Only married Cher to piss off southern rock fans. Kept bus fridge stocked with clean urine despite never actually having to take drug tests.
9. Wes Bayliss (The Steel Woods)
Thinks turn signals are for the weak. Has a side job as one of those people who calls you about your car’s warranty.
8. Marcus King
Still draws dicks on sleeping bandmates like it’s a 1997 frat house. Insists upon a state trooper entourage walking him to the stage.
7. Dan Baird (Georgia Satellites)
Only plays “Keep Your Hands to Yourself” in a medley at concerts. Hangs the toilet paper “under.”
6. Cody Cannon (Whiskey Myers)
Puffs, puffs, puts it out. Secretly a hit pop-country songwriter under the alias Corey Crowder. Burps and blows in your face.
5. Susan Tedeschi
Only allows mainstream country stations to be played over the tour bus speakers. Makes band sign non-disclosure agreements so no one knows about her Red Man habit. One member is being fired at this moment.
4. Charlie Starr (Blackberry Smoke)
Talks in a fake Southern aristocrat accent for interviews. Doesn’t flush. Doesn’t put his grocery cart up.
3. Dale Krantz Rossington (The Rossington Band, Skynyrd)
Used to hide rotten fruit in Leon Russell’s beard while he was asleep. Cheats at Words with Friends. Hollers “Play Free Bird!” while actually on the stage with Lynyrd Skynyrd.
2. Derek Trucks
Never responds to text messages. Intentionally uses poor grammar and spelling on Facebook posts to trigger perfectionists. Personally selects the pre-show monitor music: all Ricky Martin hits. Doesn’t pick up after his dog.
1. Chris Robinson
Whoops. Actually is a jerk. Sorry for ending this on a downer.
Aug 27, 2020
|Photo by Christine Solomon|
Oct 26, 2019
May 2, 2019
When somebody says Whitey Morgan is overrated and you have a 2x4 in your hand
"Trap beats are the future of country music"
Chris Farley being an Americana songwriter's muse
When the kids on your bus keep singing "Old Town Road"
Did you hear Chris Knight will have a new album this fall?
When the radio station plays Cody Johnson... then follows it up with Thomas Rhett
Jul 25, 2018
Mar 31, 2018
Apr 13, 2017
Mar 30, 2017
Nov 5, 2016
Jul 8, 2016
Jan 5, 2016
Apr 28, 2015
... you only go to concerts to talk to your friends and stare at social media. -@MarkDeskin
You think pedal-steel is a pick-up truck accessory... -Hannah Jo Lally
You incorporate Luke Bryan lyrics into your wedding vows. -Neal Grant
If you spell George's name Straight. -Michael Crabtree
You pirate the album then complain about its production values.
You only go to the merch table to ask for a free sticker. - @HonkyTonkQueen
You ask the merch guy if the album is on Spotify.
You judge an entire album based on hearing one or two songs. -Andrew Lacy
You find all your new music by Shazam'ing songs from WWE promotional videos.
You encourage 3 minute drum solos by cheering the whole time. -Christina Maccini
You don't know anyone else's name in the band besides the lead singer. -Cheyenne Wolf Abilene
The next morning, you have to ask your friends what the band played.
If you consider countdowns as the bar for good music. -Kenny Daniel
If you think Lie Baby is a Brantley Gilbert song. -Ben Ryan
You think Louis Armstrong was that guy who doped up and won the Tour De France "a lot of times." -Barry Toffoli
You had a terrible night because your phone ran out of space for videos.
You think Shinedown's version of "Simple Man" is better than the original. -Mark Breunig
You treat a live band like your personal jukebox. -@UncleLeonAlibis
You don't clap for the live band but you'll "check in" at the venue on your iPhone. -Lee Kelley
You ask to be on the guest list. -Trey Newman
The only song you recognize is the rap song playing over the monitors while the second band sets up.
You swapped Exile on main Street for 3 Garth Brooks albums. (I was young and stupid) -Matt Kidney
Jimmy Kimmel's crew interviews you during SXSW -James Treviño
FGL is your jam. -Westin Zamarippa
You've demanded a refund because the band didn't play the one song you know.
You use the phrase "but you've gotta admit that it's catchy." to justify a terrible song. -Taylor Smith
you respond to the question who's your favorite artist that you don't have one and you like whatever's on the radio. -@AshleyAnnMusic
You go to your most favorite band's concert, but you get so drunk, the band has you thrown out (saw this at an American Aquarium show) -@maparriott
When you say "the record store" and you mean "Walmart." -Mike Holcomb
You couldn't make the live show because you didn't have a bow-tie to match the current vibe of the band.
You wear bedazzled jeans to a concert. And you're a dude. - @fher1286
You can only sing along to the last two hits.
a guy raps with a twangy, nasal drawl in double-time about a ba-donk-a-donk with some such colored Solo cup in a truck with ground effects and a 7 foot suspension lift with double-decker KC lights and a never-used Warn wench, rollin' down a dirt road, going to that lake at Old Man Johnson's farm, on a hot, summer night...over the dying pleas of a steel guitar and you don't literally get sick to your stomach. -Jay White
You talk through an entire acoustic set. -@BlondieInTX
You think Sam Hunt is a country singer.
If Willy Braun asks you to put down your phone. -Jodi Tidwell Bourne
You still buy Josh Abbott's music - @HonkyTonkQueen
You take MMA training in the winter and spring to prepare for the summer concert season.
You claim an artist is a "sell out" for selling Nashville something they wrote because YOU....
DONT go to shows
DONT buy the merch
DOWNLOADED all their music for free. -Angela Jolene
All your band shirts came from Target.
you know the pants size of the jeans the artist fits in to, but you're unsure of what the last single was. -Danielle E. Bowers
You think the Possum is a pesky critter and the Hag is merely your mother-in-law. -Mike Pollard
You smuggle in Bud Light to a show....in a can. -Scott McGuffie
Apr 3, 2015
Aug 29, 2014
Stand By Your Manziel
Do the Sankey Legg -Russell Parmele
The Hell Mama Raised
Cash's Walk the Liners -Ray Weaver
Call Me the Brees
The Men (or Women) in Black
Lawrence Taylor Swift -Perry Brown (of Fire Mountain)
Don't Come Around Here Romo
Boy Named Suh
You Never Even Called Me Legedu Naanee
Honky Tonk Heroes
Gridiron Maiden -Scott Bumpus
Wake Me Up Before You Romo -Joe Fink
Sunday Manning Coming Down -Ryan Depew
She Likes the Bortles (And I Like the Stones) -Ryan Depew
Black Sheep of the Fantasy League
Florida Georgia Linebackers -Mike Holcomb
Gimme Three Downs
Talkin' Seattle Seahawks Blues
Manning, I Feel Like a Woman -Andrew Lacy
Don't Rocca the Jukebox
Bad Bad Cleveland Browns -Matt Bjorke
Don't Cry For Me, Joe Montana -Matt Bjorke
The Snake Farmers
Taylor Swift's Red Zone -Jeremy Plotkin
C.J. Spiller's Still the King
Forte Good Times
Retribution Honkytonkists -Gahteeriffico
Me & Robby G
Let There Be Gronk
Shit Mountain KingTurds -'Rev' Brian T Sloane
Third Rate Romo
Tom Brady & The Heartbreakers
LeSean Remains the Same
Welker to the Jungle -Kenny Graves
The Age of Demaryius -Kenny Graves
Mrs. Stevan Ridley
The Whiskey (Phillip) Rivers
Ballou Ballers -Rita Ballou
Amendola by Morning
*I would include one entry by my good friend Anthony Mayhan, but it was a bit too un-PC.