Top 10 Ways Hick-Hop Fans Are Saving Money During This Inflation

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10. Citrus Drop instead of Mountain Dew for the baby’s bottle

9. Generic illegal prescription pills

8. Only going mudding four times a month

7. Turning their underwear inside out after a couple days for a few more days of wear

6. Building up tolerance to taste of unleaded so they can syphon more

5. Making their own t-shirts at home

4. Stealing mufflers AND catalytic converters

3. Just letting the herpes fester; it ain’t going away anyway

2. Cutting their meth with 10% more baking soda

(it’s good for your teeth!)

1. Leaving Cousin Grandpa in jail this time instead of bailing him out

World's Hickest Festival Returns!

 

Hick-Hop Cruise Returns to Port Amidst Reports of Chaos and Crime

The Kinfoke Krewz, a Gulf of Mexico excursion featuring country rapper Big Smo, Twang & Round, Lenny Cooper and others, has returned to port in New Orleans amid chaos and reports of crime and illness. 243 of the estimated 703 passengers were arrested once the ship returned shore, on charges ranging from minor assault and underage drinking to kidnapping and drug manufacturing. 

The Carnival cruise ship was scheduled to have a stopover in an unspecified Mexican port on Thursday, but the company and Coast Guard officials said the trip had been cut short due to “a multitude of infractions great and small, and a general prevalence of unsanitary conditions and unhealthfulness.” 

Before the trip even got underway, several ocean-goers were stopped at the boarding gates attempting to drive their ATVs onto the ramp. The vehicles were stowed in cruise line storage and the passengers were finally allowed aboard.

“They said on the message board that we were gone have a mud bog on the party deck, so I brung my Polaris, but they wouldn’t let me on with the damn thing.” said Timmy “Swaydawg” Thomas of Cary, NC. “They best not be a scratch on it when I get back or somebody a** gettin’ stomped.”

Country rapper/reality star Big Smo

Once at sea, situations took an immediately dire turn. All 7 of the women on board (3 of those being hired bikini models) reported harassment incidents to ship security staff within the first 5 hours. Officers were unable to detain any suspects due to nearly every male aboard fitting the description of “moderate height, overweight white guy with sparse facial hair and a Confederate flag tattoo.”

There were multiple fights, 57 reports of alcohol poisoning, 78 thefts, and one abduction. One man fell from a viewing deck into a stairwell trying to catch a vape pen. Fortunately, his girthy stature prevented serious injuries. A convention room had to be turned into a makeshift brig due to overcrowding in the existing facility.

The itinerary, already on shaky ground, was finally brought to an end by several outbreaks of Norovirus, lice, and an unnamed pustulating neck rash. “The hygiene of this group was questionable, to be polite.” said ship captain Paul Childers, “Do they have showers in the Carolinas and Georgia?”

At press time, the passengers of the canceled Kinfoke Krewz were all waiting in line to get in Pat O’Brien’s.

*fake news*

World's Best Hick-Hop Fest Returns for 2019!

Awesome New Hick-Hop Festival Announced!

Horror Country Album Covers

Hick Hop Fan eCards

These are actual YouTube comments from hick-hop fans.

There's Something About Mary Country Reaction Gifs

When your stepson says he's a huge Big Smo fan

When you try to make your friend stop listening to Lindi Ortega

Riding with your Brantley Gilbert fan cousin like...

Did you know Dave Cobb is Brent Cobb's cousin?

 When your girlfriend walks in after 

you just listened to Turnpike Troubadours

When you meet Hunter Hayes

Reginald Spears Weighs in on Hick-Hop

New Parody Album Covers: Luke Bryan, Charlie Stout, Big Smo, etc.

Little Known Facts: Halloween Edition

Shooter Jennings recently found his He-Man costume from 3rd grade and 

decided to wear it this year since it still fits. 

Colt Ford scrapped plans to go as someone less talented than himself when 

he couldn't find a Big Smo outfit. 

After being up late with a cranky baby, Jason Isbell will accidentally put on 

Amanda Shires' pants on the 31st and walk out dressed as Sam Hunt. 

Somewhere in Georgia a hay-wagon hitch will break and nearly cancel the hayride 

but all will be saved by Brantley Gilbert's wallet chain. 

Hunter Hayes has been spotted at Sam's Club buying gallon tubs of vaseline to 

grease his face up because just a fat suit isn't enough to look like Gary Levox. 

In 2012 Hank Williams Jr dressed as Chewbacca but everyone knew it was him 

because he was constantly yelling "I'm Hank Williams Jr, bitch!."

On October 31st Dale Watson will wake up and dress like a badass. Just like every other day. 

This year Chad Brock will be dressed as a homeless man on the streets of Nashville. 

He will remain in costume through 2018. 

Florida Georgia Line decided to not dress as what they believe to be the greatest country duo 

of all time because they couldn't decide which one had to be Big Kenny. 

Tyler Farr will be arrested on Halloween for parking a hearse outside 

a neighbor kid's bedroom and throwing popcorn balls at the window. 

After a bad experience with Wynonna's spray tan artist Dolly Parton will be stopped at 

the local farmers market for being suspected of smuggling two pumpkins out the door. 

Chris Stapleton's costume will not be seen by most of the country but 

people that actually know things will agree it's the best costume this year. 

Ray Wylie Hubbard will dress as a geriatric Danny Zuko. The other 364 days of the year

this is referred to as "the Ray Wylie Hubbard look."

By Jeremy Harris

Awesome New Festival Announced!

*Not real. And not presented, sponsored, or sanctioned by any of the corporations mentioned.

Those Who Can't Do, Hick Hop

If hick-hop does in fact make it to the mainstream, here's a small sampling of the class, 

artistic quality and cultural significance to come....

(these are actual album, single or EP covers - I didn't Photoshop any of them)

Idiocracy, here we come...

Big Smo CD in the Right Department

Big Smo is the Sh**

CMA Fest 2014 Bingo!

Others have done this in the past, but no one has stepped up this year so far, so....

Country Day December '13 Parody Album Covers Part 3: Jake Owen, Brantley Gilbert, etc.