Jan 25, 2012

Larry Lee the Primitive Baptist Reviews: Rascal Flatts - Banjo

Well, this song started out pretty good. It reminded me of some good ol' fashioned Christian bluegrass, until the lead singer, Mr. Levox said "B.S." I thought these were supposed to be poster boys for good taste and positivity in secular country music. 

Apparently they are just as worldly as the Casey Donahews and Brantley Gilberts of this nation. As clean cut and well-mannered as these young men seem to be, it's a true disappointment that they are as hellbound as that empty-headed pervert, Hank Williams Jr.

The theme of this song is "getting away from it all." They say it's time to eschew computers, cell phones and whatnot and I can fully agree with that. Every time I sit down at my wife's laptop to write these song reviews, I can just feel the demonic forces dancing just below my fingertips. They wish to lead all of us toward the evil LCD temptations of gambling, pornography and Harry Potter. Oh, I shiver at the thought.

So far, there is at least a little positive to balance out the negative of this song, but that changes when we reach the chorus. "You go and you go, until you hear banjos" it says. My son-in-law, Jerry, was listening over my shoulder and began laughing when he heard that line. He proceeded to tell me that it was a reference to a vulgar Hollywood moving picture entitled "Deliverance."

Apparently, in this movie, some city slickers go on a raft ride in the God-forsaken mountains of northern Georgia. Their fun times go awry when some typical residents of that locale attack them and perform sodomy upon one of them, exhorting the defiled man to "squeal like a pig." It's a good thing I haven't eaten in a few hours or I would, as the younguns say, blow chunks.

So, I gather that the rascally Flatts are wishing for that to happen to them, as if the eery sound of a banjo is the woods is actually a siren's call that causes their loins to swell with blood and lust. This truly is the most objectionable song I have ever had the displeasure of listening to. I had heard rumors that the lead singer might be, uh, you know… that way, but the other two are not exempt since they added their backing vocals and pretend guitar playing to this dreadful song.

It is an abomination before the Lord to go spelunking the nether regions with another man, so saith Larry Lee. Flee from this deviant tune and seek the Father. 



  1. This is one of Larry Lee's best ever reviews. He managed to find sin where I never would have imagined! Great review, Mr Larry Lee.



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