Justin Wells: The FTM Interview

Interview conducted by Jeremy Harris

Recently I caught up with singer Justin Wells (with a little help from bass player Jason Parsons) from the band Fifth On The Floor to ask him some questions that all inquiring minds were dying to hear before the band's show at Tootle's Pumpkin Inn located in Circleville, Ohio.

FTM: How's the current stretch of the tour (that's ongoing)?

Justin: It's going really good. I think we've done about 80 miles so far. It's been real grueling, we played last night and then we're also gonna play tonight. So.... we're playing two nights back to back. You know the bands starting to fall apart a little bit. Aaron (drummer Aaron Graham) had to check out for a little bit and Parsons (bass player Jason Parsons) has been talking in tongues so we're all ready to go home.

FTM: I thought talking in tongues usually waited until the end of the show.

How much of a relief is it to finally have your album (Ashes & Angels) out on shelves?

Justin: I wasn't aware that is was on shelves.

FTM: That's where people put it after they buy it.

Justin: Yeah, after they return it. No man, it's great. We started working on the thing in January of last year and writing a good year before that. It's a big relief and glad it's out and people are enjoying it. We want people to keep buying it. Buy two copies if you don't already have them.

FTM: With the Moonrunners Festival coming up, are there any acts you would like to see that you've not seen before?

Justin: I was thinking about staying sober so I could see Fifth On The Floor to be honest with you.

FTM: That would be a first and you know a few of their songs.

Justin: I seen Scott H. Biram play a couple of times and he's always a real treat and I'm looking forward to that. The same with Last False Hope because those guys are all good friends of mine. Really just all of it. I've never seen Possessed By Paul James and that should be awesome. I'm just gonna try and stay sober.

FTM: Have you ever had a problem with standing up fast and your ears popping?

Justin: Uh, not but I don't stand up real fast. I don't really do anything real fast. I don't know if you've noticed.

FTM: Yeah, I've been walking with you.

Justin: It's taking us 30 minutes to cross the street. (entire interview conducted within a 1 block walk)

FTM: What was it like playing on the Grand Ole Opry with George Jones?

Justin: Uh (laughs)

FTM: Oops, my bad. I thought you were Charlie Starr from Blackberry Smoke.

Justin: (much more laughing) Yes!

FTM: Ashes & Angels is a great album. I love it. But how much longer will we have to wait before we get a Nelly remix version?

Justin: Nelly is not available unfortunately so we're going to be bringing in LL Cool J since he's making a foray into country music.

FTM: He's done worse already.

Justin: We're currently working on "Distant Memory Lizzand"

FTM: In the standard form of measurement, what size hat do you think your poop wears?

Justin: My poop? (ha ha ha) My poop. Well today it has been wearing about a 5 gallon hat.

FTM: What's the dumbest question you've ever been asked in an interview?

Justin: Uh, what was that question right before this one?

FTM: What's the worst drink a fan has ever bought for you?

Justin: The easy answer is Jägermeister. A more complicated answer is, out in like Iowa and Kansas we found this string of shows where people would bring us this brandy shit. It was like blackberry brandy. That was pretty nasty and this one particular one they're all drinking brandy and this guy gives me this shit and I don't remember what it was called. Parsons might remember. It was menthol flavored. I don't think it was legal to sell or own.

FTM: In one sentence, how would you describe the average Fifth On The Floor fan?

Justin: Despair, period.

FTM: Well I guess that's one sentence.

I've noticed that a lot of your pictures you post on twitter, Instagram, and Facebook are very fuzzy. When we get done can I wipe off your phone camera for you? I think it has some pocket fuzz or something on it.

Justin: It's not fuzz but yeah I would use gloves.

FTM: What would be the dream act for you guys to open up for?

Justin: Oh man, that's a tough one. High up there would be The Allman Brothers Band or Fogerty (Creedence Clearwater Revival frontman John Fogerty). Most of my dream acts aren't around anymore. I would love a chance to open for Shooter Jennings because he's not an outlaw and we're not either. So I just kinda think we could start a new movement of just law. Not outlaw, just law.

FTM: That leads right into my next question. How would it have turned out differently if instead of Dennis Rodman, you had visited North Korea?

Justin: (laughs) I would like to think that they would sacrifice at least their first born to me to sooth me.

FTM: So you're going to be the bad guy to them (the people of North Korea)?

Justin: Not even the bad guy as much as this benevolent force of nature. Kind of like Galactus. I would eat their planet.

FTM: If you could pick one country singer or band to eliminate, who would it be? They will never sing or touch an instrument again.

Justin: This is the most difficult question so far.

FTM: You can not say Fifth On The Floor.

Justin: Eliminate just one act that I despise. That's a tough one man. You're talking about in country music? I'd say in country music I'd have to eliminate LL Cool J. Yeah, that's who I'd get rid of.

Parsons: I second that.

FTM: What is your favorite brand of skinny jeans?

Justin: (laughs) Hey Parsons can you field this one? Let's ask Parsons.

FTM: Tag, Parsons you're in. What's your favorite brand of skinny jeans.

Parsons: (long silent look of confusion)

FTM: Is that your favorite brand that you're wearing or would you like to go with a different brand?

Parson: What are skinny jeans anyway? I don't understand the concept of them.

Justin: Tag, I'm in.

FTM: How often do you guys get negativity on twitter like pointing out that you suck?

Justin: We let management field all of that shit because we've got better things to think about. I mean, we've been on this tour for 2 day and we're kinda nuts deep in our careers and can't be looking back at ex-girlfriends and shit.

FTM: What's your favorite key to play "Wagon Wheel" in?

Justin: Yes...... The one with a capo. The key of Hootie.

FTM: Is this the worst interview you've ever done?

Justin: Yeah. Ol yeah. Absolutely. I don't like you people.

FTM: Mission accomplished. Brantley Gilbert or Rascal Flatts?

Parsons: Brantley

Justin: I'd say Rascal Flatts because I'm not very good at shopping.

Parsons: Can it be a cage match to the death between them?

Justin: A little known fact is we actually opened up for Brantley Gilbert years ago and that dude is a mother (f'n) outlaw. That dude is the dude that Shooter is singing about in "The Gunslinger."

FTM: Well that ties right into my next question. If you had to give up one thing would it be your height or your facial hair?

Justin: Golly! Uh, is weight an option?

FTM: No, that's too easy.

Justin: Honestly I could give up either one of those things and still be a guitar god. (the entire band is now laughing. Justin is not.)

FTM: On a scale of 1-10, how much do you love the band Florida-Georgia Line?

Justin: (a long moment of silence) Parsons, do you want this one?

Parsons: I have not heard a single note they've played. I thought they were a cover band down south. I'm serious about that.

Justin: Just don't call them outlaws.

Parsons: I was just told that they were a real band?

FTM: Believe it or not we actually have some fan submitted questions. First one is from Jason A. from Georgia. "How do you expect people to believe you're a real country band when you don't sing about trucks?"

Justin: Uh Jason, we wrote the song ...f'n "Georgia"

FTM: Maybe he's never heard that one. Blake S. from Texas (Editor's note: Blake S. is from Oklahoma) would like to know "What would it take to get you to join me in a drinking contest and how many wine coolers do you think you could handle?"

Justin: My beard could kick your forehead's ass anytime and any day.

FTM: Amy H from Ohio "Can you pick up toilet paper and milk on your way home...... Uh oops. That was my wife texting me. My bad.

Justin: (laughter has now turned to squealing)

FTM: Toby K from Oklahoma "I've listened to y'alls albums and I can't tell if you're for the troops or the taliban, please clear this up."

Parsons: We've all got beards but hell man.

Justin: Our new album is called "Ashes & Angels". Does that not answer your question?

Parsons: It's the symbolism, the symbolism.

Justin: Shhh.

FTM: Shooter J from California, New York, Tennessee or wherever he's at right now wants to know "Will you help me get something off of the top shelf?"

Justin: (the entire band has now arrived to laugh) Man Shooter, I'll be glad to help you anytime I can if you'll just take off the f'n sunglasses when you're inside.

FTM: Good enough man. Thanks a lot.

Justin: Yeah, thank you. That's awesome, I want to do another one.

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Fifth on the Floor's latest album, Ashes and Angels, can be purchased here or the usual outlets.