Häagen-Dazs Badonkadonk

An oldie but goodie parody...






















Häagen-Dazs Badonkadonk
(parody of Trace Adkins' "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk")

(Spoken)
Attention shoppers
Right now in the frozen dessert section
There's a green light special
So if you want some Rocky Road
You might want to head on over
Ten bucks for 2 gallons
There she goes
There she goes
Left left, ...catch her breath
Whew

Her cart is full of Cool Whip
Smore Pop Tarts and onion dip
Lookin' darn near 10 feet wide
Here she comes, best move aside
Buddy Langley's girlfriend done got pushed onto the ground
Poor ol' girl, she tried to move
But it's hard to get around

That Häagen-Dazs badonkadonk
Blocks the dairy freezer
Makes it hard to move along
Got her spandex on
Like Donkey Kong
And hoo-boy
Hush my mouth, wire up her jaw
There outta be a law
Get Weight Watchers on the line
I didn't know they even made britches in that size
For that Häagen-Dazs badonkadonk
(Aww naw)

Now Atkins couldn't save her
From what McDonalds gave her
And we'll all become quakers
If she shakes that money-maker
She's got pistachio
She's got cookies and cream
She's got vanilla fudge
Running through her blood stream

And a Häagen-Dazs badonkadonk
Holdin' up my shoppin'
Makes it hard to move along
Got her spandex on
Like Donkey Kong
And hoo-boy
Hush my mouth, wire up her jaw
There outta be a law
Get Nutrisystem on the line
I didn't know they even made britches in that size
For that Häagen-Dazs badonkadonk

She don't care bout carbohydrates
Or what Dr. Phil might say
The cashier starts to sweating
When she gets in line to pay
She makes evolution look fast
Nah, she ain't fleet of foot
Folks, you better take the bypass
'round that continental (butt)

Yeah, her Häagen-Dazs badonkadonk
Can cause a full eclipse
Blocking out the midday sun
Got her tube top on
Like Donkey Kong
And hoo-boy
Hush my mouth, wire up her jaw
There outta be a law
Get Weight Watchers on the phone
Even when she's by herself, she ain't alone
With that Häagen-Dazs badonkadonk

That Häagen-Dazs badonkadonk
Yeah, that Häagen-Dazs badonkadonk