Daryl Worley parody

I normally don't parody serious songs (well, serious songs I don't hate), but this just fit so well...

I Just Came Back from a Walmart
(parody of Darryl Worley’s “I Just Came Back from a War”)

The first thing I did when that sliding door opened was run like hell
The next thing I did was to go find a mug down at the Wishing Well
Drank some beer and cried a lot into my glass
And when my buddy Billy Joe walked past
He said I don't know what it is, but you seem different to me

I said I just came back from a place where they hated me
and left me alone and ignored
A hell where fat mothers were blocking the groceries that I was there looking for
If I ain’t exactly the same good old boy that walked into that damned ol’ store
I just came back from a Walmart

The very next moment I took a shot of whiskey and stood
I said you’re lucky your wife don’t make you go there, you really got it good
People were cursing and children wore no smiles
There was gnashing of teeth in the baked goods aisle
And I stood in the express lane for an eternity

I just came back from a place where they hated me
and left me alone and ignored
A hell where Nascar displays were blocking the groceries that I was there looking for
If I’m not the well adjusted fella that last came through those swinging doors
I just came back from a Walmart

I hope this never happens to you
Cause a mind is a terrible thing to lose

I just came back from a place where they hated me
and left me alone and ignored
A hell where ratty kids were blocking the groceries that I was there looking for
Chances are I never will be the same
I really don’t know anymore
I just came back from a Walmart

You don’t know me (repeated)

I just came back from a Walmart