Jan 12, 2011

.99 Reviews: Trace Adkins "Brown Chicken Brown Cow"

.99 Review
(Click the title to listen)

The Peoples' Take

Cowboy (5 Stars)
by Brenda Smith
I love Brown Chicken Brown Cow song - it is the absolute funny and to watch Trace perform this in concert makes it that much better.

One of his best! (5 Stars)
by Paula Peppers
I can't get "brown chicken brown cow" out of my head! LOL

My Take

To be honest with you, I felt dirty listening to this. With a listening history of NWA, 2Pac, 2 Live Crew, George Carlin, Jon Lajoie, Clarence Carter and the Bellamy Brothers ;), that's saying a lot. It's a country rocker built around the old joke that the music in pornographic movies sounds like "bow chicka wow wow," and that's almost all you need to know about the tune. But that won't stop me from running it down.

Trace Adkins has what may be the best voice in contemporary country. It's a booming baritone that has depth and a gentleness when needed. He's also an interesting dude with a big personality and genuine country cred. He's released some really great songs over the years… "Arlington" "Every Light in the House" "Til the Last Shot's Fired" to name a few.

That said, he's also released some of the biggest steaming piles of crap heard on country radio in… ever. I won't hate on "Badonkadonk"… it's been done enough already, and there's at least a little kitsch value to that song. No, I'm talking about "Rough and Ready" "Swing" "I Left Something Turned on at Home" "Hot Mama" "Ladies Love Country Boys" the list goes on.

"Brown Chicken Brown Cow" falls into the latter category. It's a one trick pony with no saddle.

The story is pointless, just a contrived tale to lead up to the punch line. So what's wrong with a little roll in the hay? Nothing; nothing at all if there's a little feeling in the lovemaking or a good plot leading up to it… this is just an end-of-the-show SNL sketch set to music. Ha ha ha, it's a song about porn music, LOLZ! So clever.

What's worse - the titular bovine and foul apparently get off on voyeurism. "nobody watchin' but the brown chicken brown cow." Great. I bet there's already a website for that. The crow even called out to let 'em know that some barn loft sexin' was about to go down. All animals are equal, but some animals get to watch the peep show.

I hope the two rural lovers checked all their crevices for straw afterwards.

Come on Trace. You're better than this.

Total Value: .22/.99

The checklist:
Life Affirmation
Name Dropping
Dying Person
County Fair
Blue Jeans
Lost Love
Check mark symbolLove
Hometown Pride
Kindly Advice
Dirt Road
Pop Sheen
Check mark symbolStar Power


  1. An Animal Farm reference in a Trace Atkins song review?? Hilarious. That's why I love this blog.

  2. I like this song well enough, but don't let Larry Lee the Primitive Baptist hear about it. He might have a heart attack.

    Anyway, I liked this song for the first three or four times I heard it. But the joke got old real fast. It might have been a fun album track but I wonder how its gonna do as a single. I think the burn factor is pretty high on this. Still, i'll take a crappy country song about Porn over the Jesus and Soldiers and Mom type songs any day of the week.



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