Sep 13, 2012

Phoenix Stone: A Guy You'll Want to Punch in the Gonads

Just look at this turd.

Don't you already want to punch him in his goofy-ass smile for no real reason?

Well, that's Phoenix Stone, one of the founding members of the Backstreet Boys. I guess he had too much artistic integrity and quit or something. I really don't care enough to do any proper research. Anyway, here's his debut solo album.

Don't you just want to tell Jon "Bones" Jones that Phoenix just told a racist joke and toss them into a locked cage together?

So, why am I mentioning this guy? I don't usually give much coverage to pop music.
Well.... guess. Just guess. That didn't take you long. 


Look at this tool now.

Suddenly he's got tattoos, a cowboy hat, shades and a guitar. Oh, and notice that lovely lens flare.
F this guy.

Do I even need to farce the cover of his new single? Okay, I will, but it's not like there's much left to do. Have I listened to any of his music? Nope. I don't even have to. I know it sucks. Is there any question? He looks like a Bachelor reject and his tattoo also pulls double-duty as his logo. Somebody punch this wanker.

Oh, and Nashville..... MAKE IT STOP!!!


  1. I bet Phoenix Stone is his real name too.

    They just make it so easy for you, don't they?

  2. I'm a Country PD and I've just thrown up in my own mouth. Over my dead (air) body...

  3. He must really be into Club Music, 'cause he's such a douche douche douche douche.

  4. You know what's the funniest part? It's so obvious that it is just a shitty knockoff of an already shitty song... Listen to it, it's sounds just like Barefoot Blue Jean night by Jake Owen.

  5. Isn't that a Harry Potter book?

  6. I love how online forums allow mentally incapacitated jealous pricks like you to rant about people you don't know anything about. Do the world a favor... burn your computer and get a life!!

  7. "mentally incapacitated" Guilty.
    "prick" Sometimes.
    "jealous" Hell no. Now you've gone too far.



Related Posts with Thumbnails