Jun 15, 2009

A Welcome and a Rascal Flatts Parody

I'd like to welcome FTM's new outside contributor, Bobby Joe Beckley. A talented songwriter I've come to know over the past few years at songwriting sites like Tunesmith and Just Plain Folks, Bob will be providing FTM with parodies, ridiculously funny original lyrics and maybe a few songs if I ever figure out how to stream tunes. Beckley's gotten quite a bit of buzz from his silliness, his parody "Whoops I Farted Loving You" reaching the inbox of an amused Jim Femino (cowriter of "Just Got Started Loving You") and James Otto, and his "Ballad of Palin," a political take on "Ballad of Paladin," published in an Alaskan newspaper during last year's campaign. His first contribution to Farce the Music is this parody of Rascal Flatts' current smash "Summer Nights." Enjoy, and check out some of BJ's songs on the links after the lyric!

Summer Bites
(©2009 BobbyJoe parody lyric)

Come on, ladies
It's time to barbecue
And fellas, I know you're ready for food
We went smokeless, cookin' all winter long
And summer's here, so let's get ribs on
Bratwurst, beer and some pig ears
Will make you belch and toot

Well, the bug spray better work soon
So we can get to the food
We start getting all bitten up
And man that just ain't cool, yeah

(Chorus):
Summer bites
Dang mosquitos, ticks and chiggers
They all make you scratch and bleed and keep you up at night
Summer bites
They start little and get bigger
Holler if you've ever had a summer bite
Come on

Now fellas, you better watch your slaps
Don't hit them skeeters on her tweeters
Or you'll get some crap
Back to the ladies
Ya'll keep sprayin' that OFF
'Cause one flew deep inside my mouth and made me cough

The OFF is getting low
There it goes, here we go
Here comes our doom, yeah
We start getting all bitten up
And man that just ain't cool, yeah

(Chorus):
Summer bites
Dang mosquitos, ticks and chiggers
They all make you scratch and bleed and keep you up at night
Summer bites
They start little and get bigger
Holler if you've ever had a summer bite

(Bridge):
It's a banquet on us humans
Suckin' blood and even worse
It's West Nile in your file, ya'll
Well, it's dangerous and hurts

(Chorus):
Summer bites
Dang mosquitos, ticks and chiggers
They all make you scratch and bleed and keep you up at night
Summer bites
They start little and get bigger
Holler if you've ever had a summer bite
Come on

(Chorus):
Summer bites
Dang mosquitos, ticks and chiggers
They all make you scratch and bleed and keep you up at night
Summer bites
They start little and get bigger
Holler if you've ever had a summer bite

Yeah, oh are you ready?
Are you ready?
Are you ready?
For some summer bites

Yeah, baby
Summer bites
It's summer bites
Come on

Jun 14, 2009

Fun With Charts & Graphs: Relative Size Chart #4

Click for a closer view.

Fun With Charts & Graphs: Relative Size Chart #3

Click for a closer view.


YouTube Gems: Todd Snider

Todd Snider's new album "The Excitement Plan" came out this week and it's his strongest in some time (and that's saying a lot). Here's Todd with just his guitar (producer Don Was, looking the same as he ever did, hanging out in the background) performing "America's Favorite Pastime," a tale of LSD and baseball....

Jun 12, 2009

Reintroducing Gary Floater

I don't know how I missed mention of legendary country singer Gary Floater on The 9513 and other bastions of country news in the past. I only found out about him this week when someone entered the search "maple syrup can't stop freedom" (the lyric is actually "maple syrup can't stop eagles" but I'll give 'em a pass since their curiousity led to my discovery) on FTM. I twittered (I will not say tweeted) that lyric to find out what these cryptic but moving words meant and lo' and behold, Mr. Kennedy (Drew, that is, not the wrestler) replied "Gary Floater, look it up." My next few minutes were a journey into destiny. My ears beheld the glory of Mr. Floater's nuggets of wisdom. My days pre-Gary had a vast emptiness I didn't even feel, an unknown longing that has now been satisfied. If Farce the Music had a house band/artist, it would surely be Gary... now it's time for you to discover him too.



And a free download of the tribute album is here: http://www.garyfloater.com/tribute.html

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