Lady Antebellum - All I Want for Christmas is You
Where do I begin? Oh, seasons greetings! Happy holidays! Have an enjoyable time of winter festivities!
Just kidding people. Merry Christmas! The war against our sacred holiday is never over. Why just this morning, a Walmart greeter called out to me "Good morning!" Standing there with a blinking wreath around her name tag and everything, Anna Beth Thompson had the gumption not to mention the very reason I must be entering her workplace on this cold mid-December morning (I was looking for a VCR tape of this popular "Interception" movie or some-such for my nephew Claude's Christmas gift)
This band has the audacity to release a Christmas EP with only one single true Christmas song that mentions the birth of the sweet little rosy-cheeked baby Jesus. WTH (heck)? Just call the album "A Merry Little Politically Correct December Event" so as not to bring the good Lord into your secular festivitizing.
Anyhoo, this song. This song… first of all it's a cover of a song by this hussy Maria Carry. You know, that 40 year old gal who goes galavanting around with men half her age, showing off her mammary glands at any given moment. I swear you'd think she'd just go topless… might as well; we've seen it all anyway. When will ladies learn that their milk dispensers are only functional devices? They are not advertisements for subhuman desires.
Back to the song. On the surface (I use that phrase a lot about these popular musical selections), this is a song with a good message: that love, not material goods, is not the preferred Christmas gift. That's all good and lovely, but there's a major caveat.
This "Christmas message" conforms to the popular culture and media's idea of "what Christmas is all about" not what the Holy Word proclaims it to be. In their world, Christmas is a generic term for a time of year where we should gather our friends and family close for overindulgence in food (gluttony), festivity (laziness), alcohol (drunkenness) and the like. I assume Lady A wants her beau for Christmas for carnal reasons alone. This country is going to Hades in a covered dish.
An excerpt from last Christmas at my house:
Larry (that's me): "Aren't we thankful that God sent his son to save us from our iniquities on this joyous day?"
Uncle Teddy: "Yeah sure, pass the dressing."
Cousin Shelly: "I got a new pair of sparkly skinny jeans!"
JJ from down the street: "Anybody got some more of that pear wine?"
Larry: "Who invited JJ??"
See, even in righteous families such as mine, the true meaning of Christmas has been diluted, and songs like this only add to the distractions of this hustly bustly time of year. Forget what Rudolph and Charles Kelley tell you is the "real meaning" of the season. Look in the Gospel, my friends. Praise Jesus!
I guess I've said enough. I hope you enjoy this Christmas without soundtracking your celebrations with sinful drivel such as this. Do not let Satan enter in to this Holiest of times.
And don't get me started about New Years.
F
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