Aug 18, 2016

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #79

From the Mailbag:

Chris in Texas writes:
John, it seems like the opportunities for outside songwriters is shrinking quickly for the mainstream country market. What are some tips for getting a cut these days?

JR: Well Chris, it sounds like you're probably a bitter and jealous hater. My tip for you is in my pants. My advice for you is to stick with your day job. The way things are going in America, you'll soon make $15 an hour for spinning that sign in front of the Quick Cash Mart. Chin up bro!

Lucy in OKC asks:
I'm so tired of basic rhymes in country songs, like heart/apart, truck/luck, and girl/world. Whatever happened to country music being the home of the common man's poet?

JR: Hey Lucy. Is that you in your Twitter avatar? Kinda hot, girl. You sorta rock my world. Wanna ride in my truck? With a little luck I'll win your heart and we'll never be apart! Hey, what works, always works. Don't waste your time worrying about cliches and overdone rhymes and focus your intentions on not being a bitter and jealous hater. Hit me up with a DM!

Drew in New Braunfels asks:
You haven't had a major songwriting cut besides your own band in several years. Why exactly should we even listen to your songwriting advice?

JR: Bitch, I know you didn't. Big & Rich is the most successful modern day country duo not named Florida-Georgia Line or Dan + Shay. How do you like me now? I've got about 17 holds at the present time and I'm sure they'll pull through. I know people and people know me. Besides, I'm busy with my clothing line and opening another bar, so I'm not exactly flush with time. I make more money in a week than you do playing 200 shows a year at every fartknocker acoustic club and pathetic song swap. Stick to grooming your beard and selling t-shirts out of a road case. I'm the damn paterfamilias and I'm bona fide! Step off, dicknugget.

I hope this week's tips were helpful to you! Good luck and God speed!

*not actually written by John Rich

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