Jan 27, 2011

Larry Lee the Primitive Baptist on Kenny Chesney's "Somewhere with You"








Kenny Chesney - Somewhere With You


Mr. Chesney's newest smash hit country song sounds suspiciously like what we used to call "pop music" back when my pals and I used to cruise the Sonic after Bible drills, bobbing our heads. It seems at the very least insincere, and more to the point, dishonest to release this song to the country music radio stations. As if the sin of false presentation were not enough, Kenneth's song is a veritable snake nest of immoral behaviors. The first two lines reveal the main character's jealousy and envy over his ex-girlfriend (we assume it's a girl, but one cannot be too certain in this morally loose era) courting a new love interest. These two sins of course lead to yet another, consumption of old Scratch's mind altering beverages. Next, he goes on to look back on his time with this ex and he has the gall to reveal to us, fair reader, that he went on a date to the amusement park without an adult present to make sure this couple didn't cavort around in the haunted house or touch uncovered skin together at any point of their ride on the Tilt-a-whirl. Next line, next sin - he let a (presumable) female drive him around. The man is to be at the helm in any facet of any relationship, thus saith my Lord. And now saith my Lord, this couple committed sexual sin, because Kenneth Chesney got them a hotel room and you just know what happened on those bodily fluid encrusted sheets. My chest is tightening up, I don't mind telling you …and so is my bbb… never mind.


I'll just summarize the rest of this vile song: Mr. Chesney is sleeping around with all manner of whores in an attempt to fill up an empty space in his soul. Does he not know that this longing is for the King of Kings… not the queen of his four poster? My angina is really acting up right now… but please, unless the real damnation of your eternal soul is something you desire, don't give this song a second listen.


F-

1 comment:

  1. Larry Lee is getting better with each new review, and including his deft insinuations that Mr. Kenneth might prefer sausage over a roast beef sandwich.

    I am a bit surprised thought that Larry Lee tells us that he went bobbing his head by sonic after Bible drills. To be honest, that sounds a little bit gay, and I would have thought that Mr. Lee staunchly opposed gay acts. I do find it a wee bit hypocritical that Mr Lee would engage in such immoral acts while protesting such behavior. It seems that Mr Lee is even more dishonest than Kenneth Chesney, who releases pop songs but calls them country. I have a strange suspicion that Mr. Lee

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