*Not actually written by John Rich
May 23, 2011
John Rich's Songwriting Tips #52
Be fake. Hell, y'all saw me on Celebrity Apprentice being all polite and thoughtful and mature… lolz, fooled ya ass big time. I'm the champ, cheesed*cks! Anyhow, some say you have to write what you've lived. Bullsh*t! I ain't been poor since I was a kid, but some nights when I run out of cash and can't find my Amex Black card and the nearest ATM is too far to stumble to… well, I kinda know what being poor is like then. I ain't ever been dumped but I can imagine what that must feel like to poor limprods like you. Use your imagination …and I don't mean for thinking about the MILF down the street with the Lexus SUV who you'd like to have lick frosting off your…. never mind. Like they say in the classic Caddyshack, be the ball. If I only wrote about what I know, you'd think I was a rapper… bling bling bling bitchez!