Jul 10, 2011

Larry Lee Reviews The Pistol Annies



Do I even have to tell you that the title itself immediately presented me with a crisis of faith? I prayed over this song for a good hour the other day and no answer came. I took that as a "you're on your own" from the Big Guy.

Then I saw the cover of this single. Three comely young gals who appear to be holed up in a brothel awaiting their johns. Really, Trailer? You're already about to bust the gates of Hades wide open, why drag me with you?

Anyway, I came to the conclusion that I need to give this song a listen so I can warn the evil-doers who read this blog of the dangers it may present to their steady walk on the razor's edge.

"I done made the devil a deal" is a central statement in this deviant work of musical "art." Aside from their poor usage of grammar, they are telling us here that they buy wholesale into Satan's plan for overthrowing our one and true Savior as the King. And they plan to tell the already mindless masses of NASCAR dads, bridge-playing biddies and soccer moms who listen to country radio of their sinful ways, as if proud of their new proclivity.

And what exactly was this deal made by these hussies? Their very souls for sexual attractiveness that they will use to procure riches of this world from "sugar daddies." I'll be damned (Sorry Lord). Tres Harlots (as I will refer to them from hence) go down the list of men they've taken to the cleaners by offering their hoochie coo as barter.

Mrs. Blake Shelton even confesses doing the dirty deed with a married man. How apropo for this blonde floozy who has, in the past, sung of killing men, drinking wine and smoking cigarettes. There is already a pit in Hell with her name on a neon sign, just waiting.

Tres Harlots have lovely voices and they blend them very nicely. This is my only positive statement about this dreadful song. It's like a pile of cow feces presented in a nice shiny Walmart gift sack.

Diamond rings, GTOs, yachts... are any of these worth spreading your legs and accepting Satan's seed? No, they are not. Yet, Tres Harlots hold up these idols as greater than salvation.

I implore you to change the station to the lower FM stations to find some good Perrys or the Ball Brothers to cleanse your soul of this garbage.

Tres Strumpets gets an unquestioned

F

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