Aug 30, 2011

Larry Lee the Primitive Baptist Reviews: Brantley Gilbert

Brantley Gilbert - Hell on an Angel


I was appalled by the title of this song from the start. Why do so many country singers feel the need to promote that dark realm in their songs? Also, I'm no scholar but the frequent usage of "hell" in country songs as a noun, verb, adjective, adverb, interjection, dangling participle and whatever else can't be correct. Can I get a Amen!?


I have another question. Why is this song labeled as "country?" It is clearly a southern rock song like that infernal Lynyrd Skynryd and dirty rednecks like that. Brantley Gilbert looks way more like a biker man than a good old Christian country boy. You don't see me going around calling myself Larry Lee the United Methodist, do you? That would be ridiculous ...because I'm not a drunk.


Anyway, the song… It actually had potential and I thought it was a song of spiritual redemption until he called God "baby." I was all like WTF (Why the falsehood)? And then I was like "oh no he didn't." I'm sorry for all the slang, I've been filling in some at the South Holcomb Missionary Baptist Church while the Right Reverend Percival G. Sparks recovers from shingles and I picked up a little of that yang, homeys.


This song worships the false idols of love and females. This man was a sinner and claims to have been redeemed by the fairer se… uh, a woman. Not only is this false teaching, it goes against human nature as well. Women have more evil in one brain cell than a man has in his entire body (not counting the no-no place below his abdomen). Also, Eve was the first sinner. That's good enough for me to know that no salvation ever came at the hands of a female and that a man should always lead the way. Don't tell my wife I said that though.


I believe this Brantley Gilbert only changed his ways for the promise of sexual favors, not true love. There is only one true love and that is with da big poppa in da sky. Believe dat, gee!


You might have guessed that this song has earned the following grade:

F

3 comments:

  1. "Why the Falsehood"...priceless. I wish Larry preached at my Church.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Larry Lee is the best music writer going! Love him.

    ReplyDelete

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