Aug 14, 2011

Snap Judgments: Promo Only Country Radio August '11

In this edition of Promo Only Country Radio, it has finally happened. There's almost nothing here that actually qualifies as country, in my book. There's pop, there's hair metal-esque power balladry, there's rap. We've already reached the mono-genre that Triggerman at Saving Country Music talks about all the time. Sad, but true.

Click song titles to listen.

Hard to listen to any of her songs without bias now. Sure, she's no Chris Brown, but her name still carries some baggage. This is an inspirational pop tune, a la what she used to put out a lot (huh huh huh - you said "put out a lot") after "Blue." She's in fine voice here. It's not a bad song, probably good enough to return Leann to the upper realms of the charts. Not something I plan to listen to again, but it won't make me change radio stations.
C+

I like his voice. First time I've actually heard it. This is a power ballad. Poison with a twang. I like it in a guilty pleasure sort of way but I can't, in good conscience, give a really high rating to a non-country song released as a country song.
B-

Steve's settled into this groove of earnest songs that don't have much spark, but do carry plenty of honesty. This is a non-flag-waving tune about a soldier returning from, presumably, the Middle East, and hoping to ease back into real life. It's very strong lyrically. There's an unspoken fear underlying the narrative that maybe his family doesn't need him as much as he needs them right now and that's heartbreaking. Good stuff, maybe a little too down-tempo to be a big hit but who knows?
B+

More pop country. Not grabbing me at all. Yawn. Bouncy and uplifting I guess, but I wasn't paying much attention. That's what country radio is counting on!
C-

I've heard this song many times, so this isn't a snap judgment. Cost of Livin' is an awesome song, far and away the best commercial country single of 2011, possibly the best in recent years. If you don't like it, I don't like you. If it doesn't reach the top 5, I'm done with country radio, other than making fun of it. This is a signature song of our times.
A+

A double-entendre stretched into a 3 minute country song. It is country, so there's that going for it. Going down, rod in her hand, pretty pink bobbers... yeah this is about fishing. Quite honestly, this is as dirty as anything 2 Live Crew ever put out... and your kids will be singing along to it. Disconcerting in my book. Kinda catchy but I can't get behind this at all.
D

Yep, still the worst thing I've heard in recent memory. Insert humorous comparison to feces here: _____ See this review.
F

This has a different feel to it, more organic than most of what's on the radio. It reminds me a little of "Lover, Lover" a little, but more uptempo. If country must stray from its roots, I suppose this is an acceptable road to take.
B

You want to know why there are hardly any females on the country charts? Because EVERYTHING new that comes out sounds just like this. Girls, quit following... we need some leaders.
D

Idol's runner-up delivers a "mama" song much better than Idol alum superstar Carrie Underwood's recent one. Surprisingly, this is one of the few country-sounding songs on this collection. I think I hear fiddles somewhere in there. Good voice. Solid debut.
B-

Speaking of Carrie... here's her latest, a soap opera-ready power ballad with former-neo-traditionalist Brad Paisley that ain't bad but ain't much. Huge hit that'll be all but forgotten a year from now.
C

It's sad when I was actually looking forward to this song to break up the monotony. Ugh. Not good. Colt still can't rap. The vocals are so strangely processed that it barely sounds like Craig Morgan singing the hook. Colt still can't rap. Did I already say that? This is the hick hop version of one of Eminem's songs about his daughter. Positives: nice message, country instrumentals. Negatives: everything else.
D+

Taking a cue from Chris Young, Jerrod re-releases a single he already put out. In fact, I already reviewed it on one of these Promo Only write-ups. Happily, it has grown on me since the last time I reviewed it. Sadly, it's still not anything special.
B-

I like Scotty's voice and the fact that he says he plans to "stay country," blending Conway and Merle into his modern sound gives me hope for him and the genre as a whole. However, his first one out of the gate is too cheesy for me to even listen to, much less enjoy. The fact that the hook is an unintended double-entendre for wang size is just embarrassing. 10 years ago, you'd have been labeled a perv for interpretting it that way but these days... with even news websites using dirty double-meaning headlines.. you have to be cognizant of every possible meaning, intended or not.
C-

Already tanked, and for good reason. While I have a guilty desire for B&R to come back with something as shamefully catchy as "Ride a Horse," it's not looking likely. This is a lunk-headed piece of crap. Not clever, not catchy, not anything. I thought John Rich was a big time songwriter. You're only as good as your last hit. He's gonna be auctioning off Mt. Richmore bottle by bottle in no time at this rate. This is garbage.
D-

Today is not your day, Shania. Boring. Nearly unlistenable inspirational dreck. I didn't expect anything remotely sounding like Tanya Tucker out of Ms. Twain, but this is ridiculous. Apparently Mutt Lange was the mad puppet-master behind Shania's success, because if this is any indication of what we might hear from her from this point on, she's done.
D-

What more is there to say? I've run this song into the ground and still no one gave a shit. It hit number one like I knew it would. I'm done here.
D-

2 comments:

  1. I accidentally heard that Shania Twain song today. It hurt my ears.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nothing disconcerting to me about the fact that the kiddies will be singing along with the dirty song "Fish" by Craig Campbell. In fact, the song's double entendre is pretty much operating at an 8th-grade boy level of humor. The song is perfect for the middle school set, though I hope they don't actually "fish" themselves. They are too young for that!

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