Showing posts with label Jason Aldean. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jason Aldean. Show all posts

Mar 14, 2025

Newly Discovered STI Named After Kid Rock

The medical community is buzzing, though perhaps with a slight shudder, following the announcement of a newly identified sexually transmitted infection. 

Researchers at the Detroit Center for Infectious Disease Control have officially named the affliction "Bawitdarrhea,” after a hit song by the American singer-songwriter, Kid Rock. While details remain scarce and the research is still in its first steps, Dr. Sheila Evergreen, the lead researcher on the project, offered a brief statement. 


"The unusual and, frankly, kind of funny nature of this STI's transmission and symptoms led us to consider a namesake that embodied a similar level of… complexity," Dr. Evergreen stated, pausing before continuing. "After much deliberation, 'Bawitdarrhea' seemed the most fitting choice." 


The symptoms of Bawitdarrhea are reportedly varied and, in some cases, hilarious. Preliminary findings suggest sufferers may experience any combination of: a shrinking of sexual organs, constant contradictory thoughts, a sudden affinity for cheap beer, itchy facial rashes, and a desire to loudly share opinions that no one else is interested in. 


“We don’t know the long-term effects of Bawitdarrhea,” said current US Department of Health and Human Services chief Heather Melanson, who was briefed on the case. “The best course of action is always prevention.” Contacted for comment, a representative for Kid Rock offered a pithy response, “Mr. Richie is actually honored by this news. Catch it to own the libs!” 


Further research is planned to fully understand the transmission, symptoms, and potential treatment options for Bawitdarrhea. Early reports suggest the infection began during 2024’s Kid Rock/Jason Aldean outdoor festivals - and may have been spread primarily during drunken sexual trysts in portable johns. In the meantime, medical professionals are advising individuals to practice safe sex and to consult with a doctor if they suspect they may have contracted the infection.


At press time, all port-a-potties for upcoming Kid Rock shows were being fitted with condom dispensers. 


Mar 13, 2025

Cobra Kai Country Reaction Gifs

Two old heads fighting over whether
country died in 1979 or 2001

When your buddy sent you a Graham Barham song to check out
 
That stupid vocal echo sound in pop-country songs

Old ass Farce the Music owner when yet another Morgan Wallen fan gets mad at a meme

When the country station says "Up next, Kane Brown!"

When she hears you own 3 Waylon box sets, 52 independent country artist tee shirts, and prefer standing room only shows

When Jason Aldean fans start walking behind you in a small town

"Hey sweetie, check out this new country song from my favorite pop singer"

When your wife says it's fine if your daughter goes to see Dan + Shay with her friends

When you see the Instagram posts from your friend who went to see Flatland Cavalry out of town and didn't ask you

Me avoiding hearing Chase Matthew songs

Some of you don't really like the artists you claim to like just because they agree with you on politics but that's none of my business...

Why the hell do you keep listening to Wheeler Walker Jr music?

Mar 12, 2025

The Current Poop of Country Radio: March '25

 A poop emoji is negative, a strike thru is positive, an asterisk denotes a song where the good attributes and the bad are dead even. An overall score and brief summary are below the chart. 


The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (-8) overall which is a 10 point improvement from our previous ratings in October. Zach Top sits high atop the ratings with “I Never Lie” being the best song this month by far. Blake Shelton's "Texas" is the worst song, by a hair, over Jordan Davis' "I Ain't Sayin'." The Jelly Roll song is in no way country and I don't care for it, but it's still better than those two. Despite the strong improvement, there's a lot of meh. At least there aren't any trap beats in the top 20. 

Feb 27, 2025

Trade Proposal for Canada


Wrasslin' Country Reaction Gifs #89

When you’ve made it almost an entire day without your coworker loudly listening to Kane Brown and then…

The comments section below any Facebook post about Beyonce

Stoners when a Billy Strings song hits the 18 minute mark

When you and your girlfriend, both in your thirties, spend a full day at a music festival 

Still better than listening to a Dan + Shay song

After a concert at which your friend bought the last XL “Who TF is Johnny Blue Skies?” tee shirt

When Miranda showed him what little girls are made of

Me praying Donald Trump gives Jason Aldean some kind of special music-related job position… just for the meme content 

When the moms take over the Bluetooth speaker at the party and start playing Morgan Wallen

The devil was thinking Johnny would chicken out of the fiddle contest…

Luke Bryan’s agent any time Luke agrees to do an interview 

When somebody has the bright idea to cross Chris Knight in a song

Dads, when forced to take their daughter to the Kelsea Ballerini concert 

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