Nov 21, 2022
Nov 10, 2022
Oct 28, 2022
“You could get a McDonald’s combo for two friggin’ dollars and ninety-nine cents, my brother in Christ,” said a gobsmacked Kaitlyn Mack. “It’s like ten bucks now; I blame whoever is President at this moment.” Mack perused ‘throwback’ photos of 90s prices on Instagram, mouth agape, as she proudly sported her $200 vintage Reba McEntire t-shirt she bought off eBay.
Jason Harkenson, an Uber driver from West Memphis, told us he’d initially gotten really into Patty Loveless and Clint Black before noticing the price on someone’s vintage Alan Jackson concert ticket they’d posted on Reddit. “You could get into a show for $25 back then? That’s what parking is now…” he said, Ricochet blasting in the background. “And then I stupidly kept digging and found out a person making $9 an hour could afford a pretty good apartment back then. What the absolute f**k?? I’ve got two jobs and a roommate.”
Many of the younger 90s country fans who took this depressing journey expressed sadness that they’d gone from digging “Friend in Low Places” and mullets to being despondent about the nineties including both $5/6pk beer and strong economic growth and a steady job market.
“Wish I didn’t know now what I didn’t know then, indeed.” lamented Harkenson.
Oct 17, 2022
Oct 10, 2022
Sep 15, 2022
Aug 27, 2022
Jul 13, 2022
Jun 17, 2022
Feb 25, 2022
Greenwood stretched, removed the tubes from his arms, and threw open the window. One sniff and his eyes lit up. “This one’s different but so familiar… there’s a ….chill… in the air.” he thought. He then walked to the front room and visually verified that his trailer packed with American flag clothing and paraphernalia was pre-loaded and hitched to his Suburban. “It’s go time,” he spoke.
Now Mr. Greenwood has pulled a recliner into the foyer of his expansive Franklin home and simply waits. He stares up at his signed portrait of General Norman Schwartzkopf and nods. “I’ll be ready if called, Stormin’ Norman.” he whispered. Lee’s wife only shook her head and brought her husband another bottle of red Gatorade.
At press time, Toby Keith had received the Boot Signal and was sobering up for another run of ass kicking, if needed.
Unnecessary disclaimer: War isn't funny and I pray for the people of Ukraine, but we need a little levity in any situation. Also, patriotism isn't a bad thing with the right intentions.
Feb 9, 2022
11. Ten Years of Bro-Country: A Retrospective
10. Florida-Georgia Line’s first Big Johnson t-shirts from when they were toddlers
9. The “Are You Tall and Handsome Enough to be a Mainstream Country Star?” Kiosk
8. Brantley Gilbert’s used dip can and Ed Hardy wallet (w/chain)
7. The Toby Keith “Put a Boot in in a Muslim’s Ass” Game
6. Cledus T. Judd kissing booth
5. A Salute to the Bachelorettes of Broadway documentary
4. “Are You More Smarter Than Luke Bryan?” interactive game
3. A collection of sexy Lee Greenwood photos
2. Animatronic hollering Garth Brooks
1. Outlaw Country: A Scratch-n-Sniff Photo Exhibit