Showing posts with label hick hop. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hick hop. Show all posts

Apr 19, 2024

Sturgill Simpson Returns to Music With New Hick-Hop Group, Tha Tucky Boyz

Americana stalwart and actor Sturgill Simpson has been quiet on the musical front for the past couple of years. Despite being quite visible in the entertainment world, appearing in Martin Scorcese’s Killers of the Flower Moon and the HBO comedy The Righteous Gemstones, Simpson has released no new albums or singles since 2021’s The Ballad of Dood & Juanita. 

That all changed Wednesday as Sturgill unveiled his next musical incarnation, Tha Tucky Boys. With his high school friend Herschel Porter, now known as Pill-P, Sturgill (stage name B Double D) introduced his new duo on a new Instagram account you probably can't find. “I’m a country rapper now” was the simple announcement, alongside this photo, and a short snippet of a song called “Treadin’ on Me.” 

We had a short FaceTime conversation with B Double D and Pill-P Thursday to check into this unexpected development. “Lemme holla at ya dog,” said Simpson, now adorned with face tattoos similar to that of his character in the movie The Hunt. “I told y’all you’d seen the last of Sturgill solo, so please stop referring to me as Sturgill. I’m going all in on this country rap game.”

Pill-P chimed in: “We might come from different lifestyles, BDD being a well-off musician and actor, and me being a proprietor of medicinal solutions and all your scrap metal needs, but anyway… we both real ass Tucky boys and we both hate the government so it works out.”

Simpson says the duo features a crappy logo, stolen drum loops, bad honky rapping, and adds that they will only play at ATV races and mud bogs, such is the custom with country rap performers. “We’re keeping this shit lo-fi homey,” laughed Sturgill, sipping a Steel Reserve tall boy from a paper sack. “I’ve done my time in the industry, I just wanna keep it real yo.” Simpson says they also plan to start a beef with Upchurch right off the bat, as is also tradition among hick-hop artists. 

When asked if there were any political divisions within the group, with Simpson having progressive views and Pill-P having been excluded from caring about politics due to a felony on his record, Sturgill told us it wasn’t an issue. “I’m gonna vote my way, Pill’s gonna not vote, it’ll be fine.” 

At press time, Tha Tucky Boyz were doing a photo shoot at an old train depot, each holding a chicken snake with some half naked women inexplicably posing on top of a rusted out tank car in the background.

Jun 23, 2023

Large Man With Face Tattoos Following You Down Alley Not Jelly Roll. Run!!

Hey you. Yes, you reading this very article as you scurry down the alley to your car from the vape shop. Don’t make any noticeable movements, but there’s a guy following you. Dammit, you looked. Yeah, that guy with the beard and the art gallery on his face. 

Nope. Your first thought is wrong. It’s not country rapper/singer Jelly Roll! You should run. Seriously.

While your initial reaction to seeing the portly fellow walking faster than a guy that size should walk, ten yards behind you and closing, was that it may be the “Need a Favor” singer, I’m here to tell you that Mr. Roll is currently in the studio recording a guest appearance on a Willie Nelson track, so it’s not him. Move your ass!

He’s getting a bit winded now; you’ve only got 30 more steps to your Altima but now is not the time to lose focus. Screw the second thoughts - I’m telling you it’s not Jason Bradley DeFord, aka Jelly Roll, American multi-genre singer/songwriter who won 3 CMT Awards this year for “Son of a Sinner.” This particular fellow has a hand in the pocket of his hoodie and it’s not to hand you a mix tape. 

Oh now, you’re feeling bad for judging someone by their appearance. Sir or ma’am or other, I’m thinking even Jelly Roll - who is an admitted reformed criminal and seems like he’s really made a change for the better - would tell you not to give this guy the benefit of the doubt. Trust your gut. 

Shit! He’s caught up. As you look into the tattooed face of your attacker, your fingers attempting to enable the Emergency SOS on your phone you thought was in your pocket, the man reaches out his hand and says “You dropped your phone back there.” 

My bad.

Apr 20, 2023

Ted Lasso Country Reaction Gifs 2

When there's a brawl at a hick-hop concert

Should I go to the Sam Hunt show with this new girl I'm dating? Don't wanna make things weird this early.

What do you think of Jeremy Pinnell?

Sometimes children owe honesty to their parent who's listening to Dan + Shay

Morgan Wallen: Releases song that is entirely farts
His fans:

When somebody walks into John Rich's bar wearing a Budweiser t-shirt

A friendly greeting to the car driving by listening to Kane Brown

When Johnny Cash made that same gesture to the music industry

Jun 16, 2021

Top 10 Reasons Upchurch Fans Missed His Concert


10. Lab mishap got me laid up for a few days

9. Had a club meeting that night and had to get my hood cleaned; it was a whole thing

8. Biden’s fault; couldn’t afford gas to get there

7. Was busy visiting our nation’s Capital

6. Was reading Hillbilly Elegy and time got away from me

5. Had to work a double shift running the Tilt-a-Whirl

4. Currently residing in state detention facility

3. Hanging out with friends and time got away from me

2. Not possible to stay 100 feet from all the women with restraining orders against me at the same time

1. I got court

Jan 29, 2021

Police Deploy Axe Sniffing Dogs to Find Illegal Bro-Country House Concerts

While Covid mandates continue to restrict large gatherings of people in most states, some bro-country artists have taken to having secret house concerts to avoid the watchful eye of the law, and the certain scorn of social media. Many of these shows have gone undetected, with the singers and audiences quieting down and hiding at first report of police in the area. As a result, law enforcement has had to employ a new tactic to bust these illegal concerts: Axe-sniffing dogs.

“We’ve found that teens and men who enjoy this kind of music tend to wear offensively strong smelling body sprays such as Axe, so we’ve trained Buster, our drug-sniffing K9, to identify similar odors.” said K9 Unit Lt. Parker Davis of the Smyrna Police Department. “It’s working like a charm so far.” 

The SPD has already shut down 2 Chase Rice concerts, a Chris Janson show, and a couple of other up-and-coming bro-country artists' parties. “There were 25 jacked-up pickup trucks in this cul-de-sac, so we knew something was going on when we followed up on a complaint from neighbors, but the area was completely silent when we started investigating,” said Davis. “Knocks didn’t root anything out, but Buster just smashed through the fence of one yard… you should have seen the wallet chains gleaming in the street lights as they all ran for it.”

Fines were levied, and four open container arrests were made. Similar stories have come in from the Tallahassee, FL area as well. “We taught our dog Hurley to detect body spray and White Claw,” said TPD’s K9 officer Levon Goins. “He’s rooted out 5 different illegal shows. I’ve never seen so many drunk white girls.”

One of the illicit concerts shut down in Tallahassee also led to arrests for crystal meth and prescription drug possession with intent. “That was one of those ‘hick hop’ shows, I think his name was Upshirt, Upchurch, something like that.” laughed Goins.

Nov 19, 2020

Top 10 Things Hick-Hop Fans Are Thankful For in 2020


10. That selling meth never goes on lockdown or recession

9. As crazy as this year’s been, mom’s okay with you repeating 10th grade again

8. Confederate flag Covid masks

7. That stimulus check bought you a new set of teeth (used)

6. If you never had a job, you can’t lose a job

5. The guy you owed $500 for cock fight gambling debts died of the Rona

4. Lots of time to polish up that mixtape

3.  With online prayer meetings, you can finally smoke crack at church

2. That Upchurch still puts out like 15 albums a year

1. That if you’ve had herpes and ringworm at the same time, Covid ain’t shit

Apr 16, 2020

Top 10 Things Hick-Hop Fans Are Doing With Their Stimulus Checks


10. Bailing out Uncle Buddyroe after he got a in a fight at Walmart over social distancing

9. Digging hole, dropping check in hole, filling hole

8. Framing it because they think that’s a real Donald Trump autograph

7. Financing their friend who just got out of prison for arson’s hick-hop album

6. Paying cousin Ernie to finish the job on Carole Baskin.

5. Laundering it like they heard about - but finding out that the washer takes the ink off the check

3. Down payment on some teeth

2. Donating to Kyle Larson’s Go Fund Me

1. Trying out this new-fangled ‘toilet paper’ everybody is raving about

Hillbilly Country Reaction Gifs

♫ ♬ It didn't take me long to learn
that I was born to boogie ♫ ♬

♫ ♬ Well I asked my pappy why he called his brew
White light'nin' 'stead of mountain dew ♫ ♬
When somebody says Sam Hunt is the best country singer

How do you like that new Jesse Daniel album?

When somebody insults the honor of Jesco White

If you think Mitchell Tenpenny is country, you must be

How to know when you're in hick-hop country

It's okay for me to pick at hillbillies because I'm the southern version.


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