Tom Cruise Country Reaction Gifs

Why is the country station playing a song with no twang, no story, no steel guitar, no fiddle, and no point?

Every time I piss off some Jason Aldean fans on Facebook

If you're loudly listening to Bailey Zimmerman beside me at Sonic

Them: Don't get too excited but Cody Jinks' new album comes out next week

Me:

Nashville record exec when they sign a TikTok star with no discernible talents besides being handsome

When somebody throws on some Johnny Lee

"Morgan Wallen is the GOAT"

When I see names like Josh Ross and Corey Kent and George Birge on the country chart

The Facebook comments when I post a positive meme about Tyler Childers or Jason Isbell

"Epstein files"   🤝   "what was thrown off Tallahatchie bridge"

When she texts you a Jelly Roll song she likes

I miss when women country singers' songs were all about:

When you just sold off the last of the Oxy and hear there's a hick-hop mudding event this weekend

John Cena Country Reaction Gifs

If you can't see a somebody who won't take you to see Luke Bryan

When the song starts with fiddle, then a bumpkin starts rapping

Bailey Zimmerman be like

When people picked the concert you were looking forward to all month as their loud conversation time

Who wants to see George Strait stand on stage singing and holding a guitar for 2 hours with no pyro or dancing

When your son won't stop listening to Thomas Rhett

When you realize this Locash atrocity is a Stevie Wonder ripoff

Ignorant people to Garth Brooks, when asked who ruined country music

Something no one has ever said about a Jelly Roll song

Kane Brown fans when you play them real country music

Zach Top carrying country radio on his back

Utterly depressing country music recommendations...

Country and Rap

Beetlejuice Country Reaction Gifs 2

When you just bought 20 sad George Jones songs in a row on TouchTunes just as the Friday night party crowd walks in

I knew somewhere amid all this distraction

Was a little less talk and a lot more action

"Yeah I saw Sturgill before any of you knew who he was"

Your murder ballad playlist welcoming you back every October

John Rich every time he sees an opportunity to drop a political hot take that will keep him relevant 5 more minutes

In the medical tent at a hick hop festival

"You sure like some strange and unusual country music"

Me when somebody says Morgan Wallen is making country music great again

It started off "hey cutie, where you from?"

Then it turned into "Oh no, what have I done?"

You're never going to let that Kane Brown lost in the woods story go, are you?

Charlie Daniels: I told you once you son of a...

Radio:

Yokelpalooza 2024

Sturgill Simpson Returns to Music With New Hick-Hop Group, Tha Tucky Boyz

Americana stalwart and actor Sturgill Simpson has been quiet on the musical front for the past couple of years. Despite being quite visible in the entertainment world, appearing in Martin Scorcese’s Killers of the Flower Moon and the HBO comedy The Righteous Gemstones, Simpson has released no new albums or singles since 2021’s The Ballad of Dood & Juanita. 

That all changed Wednesday as Sturgill unveiled his next musical incarnation, Tha Tucky Boys. With his high school friend Herschel Porter, now known as Pill-P, Sturgill (stage name B Double D) introduced his new duo on a new Instagram account you probably can't find. “I’m a country rapper now” was the simple announcement, alongside this photo, and a short snippet of a song called “Treadin’ on Me.” 

We had a short FaceTime conversation with B Double D and Pill-P Thursday to check into this unexpected development. “Lemme holla at ya dog,” said Simpson, now adorned with face tattoos similar to that of his character in the movie The Hunt. “I told y’all you’d seen the last of Sturgill solo, so please stop referring to me as Sturgill. I’m going all in on this country rap game.”

Pill-P chimed in: “We might come from different lifestyles, BDD being a well-off musician and actor, and me being a proprietor of medicinal solutions and all your scrap metal needs, but anyway… we both real ass Tucky boys and we both hate the government so it works out.”

Simpson says the duo features a crappy logo, stolen drum loops, bad honky rapping, and adds that they will only play at ATV races and mud bogs, such is the custom with country rap performers. “We’re keeping this shit lo-fi homey,” laughed Sturgill, sipping a Steel Reserve tall boy from a paper sack. “I’ve done my time in the industry, I just wanna keep it real yo.” Simpson says they also plan to start a beef with Upchurch right off the bat, as is also tradition among hick-hop artists. 

When asked if there were any political divisions within the group, with Simpson having progressive views and Pill-P having been excluded from caring about politics due to a felony on his record, Sturgill told us it wasn’t an issue. “I’m gonna vote my way, Pill’s gonna not vote, it’ll be fine.” 

At press time, Tha Tucky Boyz were doing a photo shoot at an old train depot, each holding a chicken snake with some half naked women inexplicably posing on top of a rusted out tank car in the background.

Hence the Two Shall Meet

Large Man With Face Tattoos Following You Down Alley Not Jelly Roll. Run!!

Hey you. Yes, you reading this very article as you scurry down the alley to your car from the vape shop. Don’t make any noticeable movements, but there’s a guy following you. Dammit, you looked. Yeah, that guy with the beard and the art gallery on his face. 

Nope. Your first thought is wrong. It’s not country rapper/singer Jelly Roll! You should run. Seriously.

While your initial reaction to seeing the portly fellow walking faster than a guy that size should walk, ten yards behind you and closing, was that it may be the “Need a Favor” singer, I’m here to tell you that Mr. Roll is currently in the studio recording a guest appearance on a Willie Nelson track, so it’s not him. Move your ass!

He’s getting a bit winded now; you’ve only got 30 more steps to your Altima but now is not the time to lose focus. Screw the second thoughts - I’m telling you it’s not Jason Bradley DeFord, aka Jelly Roll, American multi-genre singer/songwriter who won 3 CMT Awards this year for “Son of a Sinner.” This particular fellow has a hand in the pocket of his hoodie and it’s not to hand you a mix tape. 

Oh now, you’re feeling bad for judging someone by their appearance. Sir or ma’am or other, I’m thinking even Jelly Roll - who is an admitted reformed criminal and seems like he’s really made a change for the better - would tell you not to give this guy the benefit of the doubt. Trust your gut. 

Shit! He’s caught up. As you look into the tattooed face of your attacker, your fingers attempting to enable the Emergency SOS on your phone you thought was in your pocket, the man reaches out his hand and says “You dropped your phone back there.” 

My bad.

Ted Lasso Country Reaction Gifs 2

When there's a brawl at a hick-hop concert

Should I go to the Sam Hunt show with this new girl I'm dating? Don't wanna make things weird this early.

What do you think of Jeremy Pinnell?

Sometimes children owe honesty to their parent who's listening to Dan + Shay

Morgan Wallen: Releases song that is entirely farts

His fans:

When somebody walks into John Rich's bar wearing a Budweiser t-shirt

A friendly greeting to the car driving by listening to Kane Brown

When Johnny Cash made that same gesture to the music industry