Farce the Music: Garth Brooks

Apr 28, 2023

Garth Brooks Spotted Crying in Taco Bell Drive-Thru

Country superstar Garth Brooks was witnessed crying at a fast food restaurant this week. The 61-year-old singer, home between tours, apparently shed tears in the drive-thru of a Goodlettsville Taco Bell this past Wednesday.

“It was a clean ass 87 Chevy dually, I know it was him - seen him parked at the hardware stores a loooot of times,” said Jerry French of Millersville, TN. “Trisha wasn’t with him, he was just up there ordering forever and I didn’t even notice it was him till I got annoyed and did that thing where you roll your window down, stick your head out, and kinda look in their sideview to see if they catch the hint to hurry up. Anyway, damned if it wasn't Garth Brooks and he was crying. And I don’t mean, he had a wet face - that could’ve been eyedrops you know - he was literally weeping. I don’t know why.”

“I know why,” said Taco Bell window employee Janice Lemon. “We didn’t have no quesadillas.”

Janice explained that they were out of that tangy cheese sauce they use on the chicken and steak quesadillas so they weren’t selling any more that day.

“Next he asked for a enchirito, but we stopped selling those months ago,” continued Lemon. “Started sounding like was getting in his feels or something, I ain’t got time for that.” Janice said Garth continued to call out things that were either discontinued or off the menu due to supply chain issues. “By the time he finally just settled on 5 soft tacos, he was like ugly crying, I could hear the sniffles.”

The country legend has never been known for hiding his emotions, a trait that endears him to most but puts him as the butt of jokes from others.

“He handed me some wet money to pay, and it wasn’t even raining,” said a cringing Janice Lemon. “And then he suddenly stopped crying and just stared at me with a weird viciousness in his eyes as I handed him his order and some mild sauce… I hope he gets some help, it’s just tacos.”